Two Kid Schoolhouse

A day in a homeschooling life

2012-01-24T04:46:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've done a day in the life post. Yesterday (Monday) wasn't a typical homeschool day, but it was a pretty nice one, and despite our best efforts, we got a little work done, even though we weren't supposed to.

Monday is my husband's day off, so my expectations for school work are low. I try to plan for a 4-day week so we can be free on Mondays to do something fun as a family. Lately, Mondays have been pretty busy with medical appointments and such, so it's a family fun day in theory only right now. But, it's nice to be able to hang out with Dad a little too. So, all I demand on Monday is Bible study (we use The Most Important Thing You'll Ever Study: A Survey of the Bible by Starr Meade) and math. Oh, if we have a read-aloud going, we'll try to read some too.

Monday everyone was up pretty early. Dad had some dental work to be done, so he was out of the house shortly after breakfast. There was still some snow on the ground, and rain on the way, so the kids went out to sled. We have a hill that's little more than a slight incline, but it still makes for fun snowboarding practice. So after the kids finished their Bible reading, they were out the door.

Two hours later (!), Dad had returned, the rain had started, so the kids came in. Just as they walked in the door the microwave exploded, so there was some excitement and cleanup needed, including making a whole new pot of hot cocoa.

(The microwave didn't exactly explode. I was running it with a bowl of soapy water inside to create steam to soften up the crud that had accumulated. I guess I created a little too much steam because suddenly the door burst open and water came shooting out all over the stove, surrounding counter, and me. The water wasn't hot, so I didn't get burned, but soapy water flew everywhere, including into the pot of cocoa and all over the new stick of butter in the dish. Between the explosion sound and my scream, it must have seemed like something pretty exciting was going on. My microwave is really clean now.)

Wet clothes were put away and hot cocoa was consumed while the kids checked out American Rhetoric and youtube for an assignment for their speech class. They did that for a while, then I set them to their math. One had a final exam (Life of Fred fractions) and one worked on Khan Academy exercises. I ran out to fill some prescriptions for the dental patient.

Somewhere in there, the kids ate lunch. I don't know what they had, but it probably involved bread and cheese.

After lunch we wanted to settle down to our current read-aloud, The Iliad, but we remembered that my boy had some biology work to finish up from last week. So he and I did that while my girl practiced piano.

Somewhere in there, a few loads of laundry were completed.

Finally in the afternoon we sat down to read. I made it through one book (chapter) before my voice gave out. It was a long one. We talked about it for a while, then it was time for me to think about dinner. While I did that, the kids did some personal reading.

So we got in PE, math, history/literature, science for one, music for the other, all on a day we don't do school.

Today won't look anything that. We'll be more structured with our time and our work. But next Monday won't look anything like that either. Typical day? Not really. But a good day in a long homeschooling life.

Different and the same

2012-01-21T07:33:00.000-08:00

We are all so different.

We are Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, atheist. Politically left of center, right of center, apathetic, ignorant. We are unschoolers, cyberschoolers, public-schoolers and everything in between. We drink decaf, full-caf, and nothing at all. Our kids play shooter video games and no games. We are technologically savvy and plugged-in, and we are... not. We protest oil pipelines and we say "drill, baby, drill."

We are just a group of mothers and friends, and when we sit around that coffee shop table at our once-a-month gatherings, we laugh and cry and talk and enjoy each other. We disagree and argue (not too loud) and laugh (that's when we're loud) some more. We love the ways we are different and the ways we are the same.

And we can't wait till next month to do it all over again.

Why don't I finish more books?

2012-01-19T03:54:00.000-08:00

Today I discarded the third or fourth novel I've started this month. I can't finish it. I can't finish most novels I start. I want desperately to read a good story but can't find something that works for me. Why not? There are a few reasons:

1. Foul language. Contemporary fiction has so much foul language. Are we trying to be real? I don't talk that way. I know people who do, and I find them dull and annoying, and prefer not to spend time with them. Same for fictional characters.

2. Gratuitous casual sex. Sick of it. Nonmarital, extramarital (are those unbelievably old-fashioned words now?), straight, gay, I don't want to read it. Related: stories in which infidelity (used to be called adultery) is treated as normal and has no negative consequences.

3. Stories in which all men are doofuses and all women are smart and capable. Sick. Of. It.

4. Overly sentimental stories. Actually my first word for this category was "sappy." I know I will offend someone when I say that Christian romance fiction has got to be the biggest brain-musher I've encountered since I memorized Goodnight Moon. Seriously.

5. Stories with too much conflict. So much modern fiction is bleak. "Family tragedy fiction," as I call it, piles on one horrid event after another. A little bit of dysfunction is real; total dysfunction is depressing.

What makes you quit a novel?

And, what novels have you finished and enjoyed lately?

The dangers of Goodreads

2012-01-14T05:07:00.000-08:00

A long time ago I signed up for Goodreads, because it looked like something I should sign up for, and then promptly forgot about it. Actually, I think I played around with it a little, plugged in a book or two, and then forgot about it. I remembered my account again, many months later, when a friend asked me if I could be found there. Oops, I could, so I logged in and friended her. Then another friend popped in, so I had two friends at Goodreads, and started getting email with their updates. In turn, I started adding a few more books so I wouldn't bore my two friends when they ran into me there.

Now, I have a small but growing list of books in my to-read file. And a large pile of library books on my living room floor. (Sometimes I forget to put the books in the to-read file and go straight to the library website to request them.)

I didn't lack for reading material before Goodreads, but I surely have no excuses now! One list leads to another and there is always something intriguing, isn't there?

Of course having access to more good books doesn't mean reading more, does it?

How would I find you on Goodreads?

New frontiers in parenting: Facebook rules

2012-01-12T04:14:00.000-08:00

Even before my kids became teens, I was thinking about life with Facebook for them. I entered the world of social media reluctantly myself. Facebook seemed like such a waste of time and energy, I was determined never to fall for it. It wasn't till I discovered that my six nieces and nephews - all adults now and scattered all across the US - lived on Facebook. If I wanted to have a relationship with them, I needed to be there too.

Now I'm there every day, and I love it. I am friends with long-lost relatives, old friends from the past, and newer friends who live all over the place. I see my adult nieces and nephews every day now; I know what's going on in their lives and I can comment freely. Sometimes I see things I'd rather not, but as one friend pointed out, even that helps me focus my prayers for them.

Still, I knew the dangers for teens. So when my kids' teen years approached, I spent some time formulating my rules for social media. When my son turned 13, he couldn't have cared less about Facebook. It was only recently that I got him to sign up, so he could join our church youth group page. My daughter, on the other hand, was ready to rock and roll on her 13trh birthday. I was surprised she wasn't up early that morning, creating her account and downloading photos.

My list of rules, guidelines, and advice for Facebook (and whatever social media outlet may come around next) is pretty long. It's not just about internet safety, but about keeping their hearts safe too. As homeschoolers, my kids are pretty sheltered from middle-school culture, with its gossip and constantly-changing friendships and alliances. They are taking bigger steps into the big bad world and I want them to be ready for it.

Friend only people you know in real life. My kids can't accept any friend requests unless they have personal contact with the person. "Friends of friends" don't count.

Privacy settings are set to the most private. All posts are seen only by friends, not friends of friends. No personal information is listed.

Mom is your friend, and has your password. I do log into my kids' accounts periodically to check for messages and other information that I can't see from their walls. We have always raised our kids to have little to no expectation of privacy from Mom and Dad, so it's not a big deal: they expect it.

"If you wouldn't say it to Grandma, don't say it on Facebook." We have always talked to our kids about the long memory of the internet.

Don't list friends as family members. Your best friend is not your sister, no matter how close you feel today.

Understand that some people will friend you simply to increase their friend count, not because they want a relationship with you. We have already encountered this; an acquaintance of my daughter's - who barely speaks to her when they are in a group together - friended her. She doesn't expect much from that - though it's always possible that a Facebook friendship will pave the way to a real one.

Understand that not everyone you send a friend request to will accept it. Shrug it off and don't let it affect your real-life relationship.

No apps that require personal information about you or your friends. I might have to revisit this at some point, but so far, so good.

No games, period. I might revisit this one sometime, too, but for now, I don't see a bigger potential time-waster in my kids' lives than Facebook games.

While I was working on this, I came across Sarah's great post on the topic: Facebook and Your Teen. She brings up some ideas I hadn't thought of, and I'll be sharing those with my kids as well.

Some parents are afraid of social media. I know mothers who count on their kids' other Facebook friends (adults, such as youth group leaders) to let them know if something goes wrong with their child's Facebooking. I know parents who don't want to intrude on their kids' social lives so don't insist on being friends. This is just crazy to me! We need to stay on top of technology so we can participate and be watchful.

Besides, we don't want the kids to have all the fun, do we?

How are you navigating social media with your teens? Or do you prefer not to?

Works for me: Medical records

2012-01-11T04:34:00.000-08:00

It's been a very long time since I've found something to share on Works for me Wednesday - so long that I forgot how to do the linky and put my information in correctly! (Look for #81 - the one with no title!) But I am back with something that does work: my medical record sheet for doctor visits.

This is one of those ideas that seems so simple I'm surprised more people don't do it. But judging from the reactions I get from doctors and their assistants, people don't. And I've been seeing a lot of doctors lately with one of my kids, so it's gotten a lot of use.

Every time we have a doctor's visit, whether for a well-child checkup or a problem, I take a medical record sheet to hand to the doctor or assistant. They love it! It has all the information they need without having to go through a question-and-answer process with me or the child. Here's what it contains:

Child's name and date of birth. Every time we go to the doctor they ask for DoB. I was answering that question for one of my kids so many times that once when asked for mine, I gave my 14-year-old's! I got quite the look when I said "1997."

Current medications, including prescriptions, over-the-counter meds, supplements and even "therapeutic" foods such as probiotic yogurt and raw local honey. When one of my kids was seeing a few different doctors for gastrointestinal problems, I got tired of being asked if he ate yogurt. With the information at hand, the docs don't have to ask anymore.

Recent previous medications prescribed or suggested by a doctor that we've discontinued for whatever reason. One of my kids was seeing a specialist last fall for gastrointestinal issues, so I listed the antibiotics he'd taken over the past year as I suspect they may have been contributing to his sickness. One doctor had prescribed something for nausea that made the kid dizzy; we stopped using it but I kept it on the list for future reference.

Current symptoms - why we are in the office that day. The doctor quickly scans this and then asks more questions, but it gets us beyond the basics quickly.

Previous illnesses that I think might be relevant to the current problem. I keep these records in a file on my computer, so I can update as necessary and easily copy/paste information for each doctor's visit right before we go. I don't go all the way back on this: I wouldn't list my 45-year-old tonsillectomy on my records sheet. We want to keep this to one page!

To help with keeping it short, use bullet points, not chatty sentences. It's very easy for the nurse to review when she updates the medication record, and for the doctor to scan to review symptoms.

This has streamlined our doctor visits and helped me keep track of everything I want to tell them. Our doctors love ii! It works for us and for me!

Get more ideas that work on Works For Me Wednesday at We Are THAT Family.

New frontiers in parenting: Two teenagers

2012-01-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

Maybe this place shouldn't be called Two Kid Schoolhouse anymore: There aren't any kids here.

They're both teens now.

Yesterday Eleanor turned 13. James is 14 1/2.

And now that they are teens we are pushing up against some new frontiers: iPods with wifi capability, and Facebook.

We're treading carefully but not hesitantly.    We want to be smart about technology, but not scared of it.

My first observation/question: Why would a parent allow a kid to lie about her age to get a Facebook account?   The rules say you can join up at age 13. So why are we seeing 12-year-olds on there?

My second observation: Ask 5 people their views on the iPod Touch and wifi access, and you'll get 5 different opinions. For now, we're going with an app that censors objectionable sites based on the child's age and some information I plugged in. Know of anything better?   What works for your family?

More to come, as we navigate the teen years.

Peace is the word

2012-01-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

This morning while walking the dog I found my word for the year:

Peace

I am not a peaceful person by nature. My mother was a real worrier and that was part of her legacy to me. One of my kids is getting it from me. This is a good year to focus on being peaceful. (When isn't it?)

A peaceful home makes people want to be here. We can keep it peaceful by maintaining order so we can find things (including a place to sit down and read - is your couch ever covered in clean laundry waiting to be folded?). It's not very peaceful when I am walking around the house, muttering "Where did I put that book?" or "How many pairs of scissors do we own and why can I never find any?" That second one is usually not muttered.

A peaceful homeschool means we put our books and other materials way when we are finished with them. It means we have a plan for our daily work and go through it methodically. This leaves more time for rest and recreation during the day and does not result in a frustrated mom who says, again, "why can we never get anything done?"

A peaceful attitude means not worrying over what's coming up. My husband is halfway through a year-long pastoral internship; in June he will need a job. We don't know if he'll find one, or, if he does, where it will be. We need to get ready to move. We need to be calm as we wait. Not easy. I need peace.

And I can have it.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27)

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:7)

One word for your year?

2012-01-02T04:39:00.000-08:00

A few of the bloggers I read are talking about choosing a word for the year. One word to describe the year they are planning to have.

Amber's is transformation. Kristen's is faith.

There are others I can't remember now.

I chose a verse for the year, but not a word. Psalm 46:10:

"Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”

This verse is important to me because this year has the potential for a lot of worry. (What year doesn't?)

My word of the year could be "still." But... I'm still thinking about it. "Faith" would work too. "Be not afraid" is a short enough phrase that it could be one word. I'll see what I come up with.

Do you choose a word to signify your year? Tell me about it.

Here are some more I found:

Janene's is go.

Margi has two: Simplify and Sanctify.

More and less in 2012

2012-01-01T18:40:00.000-08:00

More reading (books).

Less browsing (magazines, internet).

More walking.

Less snooze-button-hitting.

More talking.

Less yelling.

More music playing during breakfast, dinner... throughout the day.

What do you want more and less of this year?

2011 Reading year and 2012 goals

2011-12-31T17:51:00.000-08:00

After a few months of neglect, I updated my 2011 Reading page. In the beginning of the year, I was disgusted with my pathetic reading life and resolved to repair it.

I read 26 books last year. Ten were read-alouds for our homeschooling, most of the rest were novels I read for pleasure. I didn't count books I started but didn't finish. There are a lot of those! 26 books is better than zero books, it's true. But it's not quite what I had in mind.

So, in a few hours it'll be a new year. The new year brings a new beginning. I'm not making any commitments, but I'd like to continue to work on my reading life.

This year I'm going to be reading the Bible all the way through. I have tried to do this a few times but have only succeeded once. I don't believe it is a necessary thing to do, but I want to do it this year. I'm trying this plan found on Desiring God.

Besides reading aloud to my kids - in January we'll be doing The Iliad and some Greek plays together, among other things - I want to read one novel and one nonfiction book each month. That will be 24 books just for my own pleasure and edification, better than the 16 I got in this year.

It's a start.

How is your reading life going?

Twice Born by Margaret Mazzantini

2011-12-31T17:19:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year I started playing around on Goodreads. I wrote some comments on a book and then by internet magic moved then over here. And here it sat in draft form for a long, long time. I'm doing some housekeeping so thought I may as well publish it, finally!

Twice Born by Margaret Mazzantini

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The story of a marriage, of a war, of love. But not a love story by any conventional definition of the term. Gemma and Diego are a mismatched Italian couple who meet in Sarajevo and are drawn back to that city even as the siege is beginning.

The story moves fluidly through time: the present as Gemma takes her son Pietro to Sarajevo to see the city of his birth, and the past as the full story unfolds.

Most than once I almost gave up on the book, as I sensed events unfolding that I didn't want to read. Have you ever felt that a character you liked was going to disappoint you? I didn't want to experience that, and I felt it was coming. As is my usual practice when I feel like abandoning a book, I read the last few pages to see if I had figured out what was going to happen. I hadn't, and had to go back and finish.

The characters, particularly Diego, are complex. I am still trying to figure out how I feel about him. The scenes of war are heartbreaking. The ending is satisfying but as with most good stories, I want to know more.

There are some other issues that I would love to talk about but would involve spoilers. There is a lot to this book beyond the plot. If you can handle a story with some very dark moments and pictures of humanity, this is a worthwhile book.

It is still Christmas

2011-12-27T05:54:00.000-08:00

Is Christmas over at your house? Are you already done putting away all the seasonal decor, or are you itching to? Going by the blogs I've been reading, most people are. I am saddened by people saying "I can't wait to get the house back to normal" and "I'm so sick of that tree!"

But it is still Christmas for many of us.

If you celebrate Christmas as a cultural holiday, not a religious one, of course it's over. Santa's come and gone, the presents have been given, the parties are past. Time to move on. That makes sense, and I'm not complaining about you. It's the Christians who are so anxious for Christmas to be over who are making me want to cry.

For those celebrating Christ's birth, the party should be just beginning.

Of course Christmas is not a biblical holiday. We are not commanded to celebrate it. But traditionally, Christmas begins on December 25. That is the first day! It ends on January 6, the day traditionally celebrated as the day the Magi presented their gifts to the Christ child.

Advent is what ended on December 25. Advent is the time of preparation, of contemplation and readying ourselves for the celebration. In many homes, traditionally, the tree was not even put up till December 24, Christmas Eve. The children were surprised by it on Christmas morning.

Now, the tree goes up the day after Thanksgiving, or even before, and by Christmas it's all falling needles and in the way. So it's out on the curb, or back in the attic, first thing on December 26.

Why is there such a long buildup to Christmas, and then it's over in a blink? Thanks to a facebook friend, I had my revelation about this last night.

The retail calendar is dictating the Christmas season now.. The retail calendar says we have to start buying stuff for Christmas as early as possible. I think I started seeing serious Christmas stuff in stores in October this year. People are frantic to get their houses decorated. I heard someone say, "We're late getting our tree up!" on December 1. That's not late.

But then, once Christmas Day comes, there's nothing left to buy. The gifts have been given, the decorations are up, the cards have been sent (well, most of them). The stores have to clear out the old stuff and bring in the new. Target, I'm told, is full of Valentine's Day products, the next retail holiday.

We don't always keep our tree up till January 6, but we keep the other decorations up till then. (This year the tree is going out today because of allergies.) I understand the need to get a tree out of the house and out of the way, the need for some return to normal routine. We are still enjoying some free time (not as much, as people do have to go back to work), still making cookies, still having company over for some Christmas cheer. Still singing Christmas songs. We aren't in fully holiday mode, but it's not completely over for us yet.

Retail Christmas is over. It's time to start buying for Valentine's Day.

Real Christmas is not over yet. Keep it going. Just a little longer. And next year, think about maybe not starting so early. Hold off a bit. Then you might not be in such a hurry to get it all out.

Merry Christmas. Today is just the third day!

Santa Truthers

2011-12-20T14:23:00.000-08:00

Over at NRO's The Home Front, they're talking about kids, parents, and Santa:

How Should Parents Deal with Santa "Truthers"?

You can see my comment about telling my kids the truth about Santa at a young age. As I post this, I have another comment awaiting moderation there, in response to someone telling me and other truth-tellers to lighten up about Santa.

What do you think? Is is lying to tell kids that Santa is real? Does telling kids the truth about Santa ruin Christmas? Is our cultural heritage in danger of disappearing if we treat Santa the same way we treat the Wizard of Oz and other great imaginary characters?

Are you ready to Maximize your Mornings?

2011-12-13T03:46:00.000-08:00

Last fall I dubiously signed up for a challenge. I needed some routine in my life and Inspired to Action was providing a way to get it: Hello Mornings!   It's a challenge to get up early, get active, pray and read the Bible, and generally not be one of those people who hits the snooze button and gets up only when forced to.

I said dubiously. I've tried challenges of various sorts before, and never really last with them. I always find some reason to stop trying. But, I got into an accountability group, printed some materials, and tried to learn how to be productive early in the a.m.

Now, the fall challenge is over and a new one is starting up in January. I'm signing up again, somewhat less dubiously and more enthusiastically.

Does that mean I was successful in this challenge?   No, not really.

I mean, I did get up early many mornings. OK, some. I got some exercise (I walk the dog every morning, but sometimes it might be for only 5 minutes), read my Bible and prayed at least a couple of times a week, and tried to get a good start on the day... sometimes. I had many excuses and even sometimes good reasons for not leaping out of bed before dawn and getting started.

But I also found some days when I couldn't find an excuse, and did get up and going.

Those were the best days!

I am not convinced that everyone's life is best suited to early rising by the mama. I think families need to find their own rhythm and sometimes that means a later start and end to the day. Wives and mothers need to figure out how their families work best. Sleep is important and there is much competition for our time.

But for me, at this time of life, early is best.

It is so hard to get up early. When my alarm goes off, I just want to curl up tighter and go back to sleep. But when I force myself up and out, and start my day - wow. Look out world! I am getting something done.

So I'm excited to start a new challenge on January 15.   I'm hoping to do make it better than the last challenge, by getting up more consistently and just being more productive. (I admit some early mornings I start clicking through blogs and reading news stories I'm not interested in, just because I don't feel like I can get started on my real day.)

If you could use some help getting started in the morning, being productive and getting things done, why not consider joining? I'd say it's valuable even for those who don't want to get up early. No matter what time your morning starts, you want to start the day strong and productive, right? So, check it out and join in. Maybe we'll end up in the same accountability group!

PS: Here is a free eBook you can download. Even if you are not doing the challenge, you might find it helpful.

A book to add to your family Christmas reading

2011-12-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we pulled out our box of Christmas books and CDs. We have a nice collection of Christmas picture books that we treasure. But they are picture books, written for children, and my children really aren't anymore.

I'm sure Eleanor and I will read The Story of Holly and Ivy together, and everyone will look through the old favorites. Maybe we'll find some that aren't so beloved anymore and give them away; at least I hope so, as we are always trying to reduce our number of books.

But, still, I wanted a Christmas book that would appeal to these older children. And so I found Come Thou Long-Expected Jesus, a selection of Christmas writings, edited by Nancy Guthrie.

This is a nice little book with twenty-two short readings by authors such as Martin Luther, John Piper, Tim Keller, Charles Spurgeon... and many more, obviously. Some are excerpts from sermons, others come from books. I've read about a quarter of them so far. Some have resonated with me more than others. I don't think the book is perfect. I've shared a few of them with my kids and we'll get to more in the days ahead, though surely not all of them. Not all will be interesting to them at their ages. I can keep some to myself for a while.

It's a nice addition to our Christmas book box.

As always, I'd love to know about other good Christmas books for teens.

Christmas baking and candy-making

2011-12-10T06:19:00.000-08:00

Last night we made our list of must-have Christmas-time treats. I am not sure we'll get to baking all these items; I may opt to buy some instead. We need something for a potluck lunch that's coming up, a few gift items, a New Year's Eve afternoon open house, and some just for us.

In no particular order:

* Sugar Cookies. The rolled, cutout kind. I avoided making these for years, but when Eleanor turned 10, we had to start. This year I bought her a set of snowflake cookie cutters and some edible glitter. We've learned the best way to handle sugar cookie dough (roll on parchment paper, freeze, cut, move parchment to baking sheet) so we have lovely shapes instead of the blobs my sister and I used to come up with.

* Cranberry Bliss (You Idiot) Bars. The name of this recipe is actually Cranberry Ecstasy Bars, and I found it in the Oregonian several years ago. The "you idiot" part is in honor of the counter person at a Portland-area Starbucks who rudely corrected my husband when he had the misfortune to order a "cranberry bar." The "you idiot" was not spoken but clearly implied. So, we found the recipe and have never bought a cranberry whatever bar in Starbuck's since!

* Chocolate-Orange Hazelnut Bark. It will make you moan in delight.

* English toffee. Recipes abound. Just use real butter and good chocolate. This is not the place to go bargain.

* Peppermint bark. Two of our family can't eat peppermint, so I'm not sure about this one. I may turn Eleanor loose to do it herself, or .... we may buy that big tub at Costco.

* Fudge. I have a few requests from people to make fudge. I think I've made it before, but I don't have a special recipe. Yet.

* Sponge candy. This is also known as seafoam and I hope I can find my mother's old recipe. It's an exciting candy to make - once the sugar/corn syrup mixture becomes very hot, baking soda is quickly stirred in. I can tell you it's very hot because one year my sister and I made it and part of the plastic spatula melted right into the candy. Didn't affect the taste.

* Anise candy. This is another sentimental favorite. It's just hard candy flavored with anise extract. I could take it or leave it; but my sentimental girlie put it on the list.

* Biscotti. We just like biscotti and rarely make it, so now it's formally on the list.

* Gingerbread men: Eleanor would prefer to do a full-on gingerbread house, but... maybe this will be her project.

This doesn't seem like very much, does it? We will probably make some other things before the season is out. We do love to bake around here. But these are our must-haves.

What are yours?

More about Christmas Gift Shopping

2011-12-09T04:40:00.000-08:00

I thought I was finished talking about Christmas gift shopping but a conversation last night prompted me to say more. I couldn't bring myself to say this in person to near-strangers, but:

If your children are nagging you for gifts, want too much stuff, want every popular (highly-advertised) toy or electronic item around right now, and are generally driving you crazy over gifts... you are not training them properly.

Sorry.

I have many child-training failures in my life so far. My kids don't clean their rooms, don't naturally help me out in the kitchen, and are completely incapable of putting their shoes away.

But they have never nagged, pleaded, cajoled or threatened over gifts.

This must be because when they were little, we never allowed them to get hung up on popular toys. We limited their exposure to advertising and didn't buy anything related to TV shows or movies. We bought them great toys - they still refuse to give up many of their childhood toys: Playmobil figures, Legos, baby dolls. We didn't buy toys that don't do anything, but toys that were fun and useful. The Simple Homemaker has a list of toys she likes; we had many of those ourselves.

We also never asked our kids for Christmas lists. They didn't write letters to Santa and we didn't ask them directly what they wanted. We knew what kinds of things they liked when they were small, so it was easy. Now, as they are getting older - believe me, they have ways of making their desires known. But they understand that most likely, they won't get everything they would like. One of my kids is dying for an iPhone, but he knows he won't be seeing that on Christmas morning. He knows he might see that when he can pay for his monthly data plan. So, when it's not there, he won't be disappointed. I know both kids will like what we do give them, because we know our kids and we know the things they enjoy.

It is natural for kids to want stuff, and in particular to want stuff they see other people with. They can learn that they can't have everything.

But they can't learn it unless we parents teach it.

Taking time to breathe

2011-12-07T09:43:00.000-08:00

The original title of this post was "It's the Holiday (Complaining) Season." I have been reading way too many blog posts and Facebook statuses complaining about the holidays. You know the rants: My kids want too much stuff, I eat too many treats and gain weight, Christmas is too commercialized, I have all these obligation gifts to buy...

Then I read Permission to Breathe over at Inspired to Action and was, well, inspired by that more positive approach.

I do see a lot of frantic people, unhappy with life during the holidays. I used to get frantic too, trying to create the perfect Christmas for my family and friends. I am still learning how to stop doing some of the unnecessary shopping, cooking, and fretting. There is a lot to say on this topic so I'm going to focus on one area of stress for now: gifts!

I used to hate shopping for gifts. So much of my gift-shopping seemed to be about obligation and reciprocation rather than love. So, I changed my focus. It was hard, but I stopped worrying so much about obligation and reciprocation gifts.

Gifts are supposed to be given out of love or at least friendship, not obligation. We shouldn't give a gift because someone bought one for us. Christmas advice to keep a stash of wrapped presents around to give people who show up with a gift is misguided and just sets up more gift-buying obligation. The proper response to an unexpected gift is to say "thank you," not to run to the closet for an impersonal gift that could be for anyone. It makes life easier for me not to try to anticipate who might bring a gift over and try to buy, and then not lose, something for them, just in case.

If I want to take a hostess gift to someone, I stick with consumables: wine, chocolate, a vase of flowers (not a bouquet that the hostess has to deal with immediately), or a little potted plant she can put on a table and then throw out at the end of the season (or when I go home, if she is so inclined). Every grocery store seems to have some seasonal arrangements in baskets or little pots; they can be inexpensive and just show the person that you were thinking of them on the way over to their party. Or maybe even beforehand!

Of course there are some people we need to give a little something to: the piano teacher, boss, secretary... I keep those gifts simple and don't go crazy trying to figure out the perfect thing. My hostess gift list usually suffices. But sometimes it can be more personal: the church secretary likes to cook, so we're getting her a small collection of spices. Sometimes we just get gift cards, which many people disdain as too impersonal but you can personalize it by the store. Crafty friends would most likely love some mad money at the local Michael's or Hobby Lobby, right? I like gift cards for Wawa, a regional convenience store chain with great sandwiches and a coffee bar to die for. I give them to the mail carrier and to my kids, because everyone has to to go Wawa sometime.

Homemade gifts are wonderful, but I've found that if I don't start in August, my plans won't come to fruition and I'll be frantic around Thanksgiving. This year I made the conscious decision not to make any gifts, except (possibly) some fudge for a family member who loves the stuff. I felt guilty for maybe about a minute, and then it was over. No pressure to knit or sew or do any of the crafts I enjoy except when I'm on deadline! Maybe another year...

I won't get into shopping for the children now. That is a huge area of Christmas angst for parents, and it should not be.

What gift-giving strategies do you employ to keep your stress level down?

Homeschooling is a long-term proposition

2011-12-02T06:28:00.000-08:00

The schoolhouse is still in business; we are still homeschooling and my head is still full of things to write about. But we are still sidetracked by sickness - one child's mysterious symptoms that have been stumping us since August, and now a round of Bad Colds.

It's tiresome but apparently not life-threatening so I should keep my complaining mouth shut.

This morning, as I contemplate another day that we will not produce anything for the homeschool portfolio, I am also reminded that homeschooling is a long-term proposition. We are going through an unproductive season right now. We are reading (together and separately) and slowly going through the math books (oh, very slowly!), and watching some recorded lectures. I am confident (well, trying to be) that someday we'll see the fruit of this time, when there is a lot of input but little to no output of learning.

If Pennsylvania law did not require the portfolio of work samples, I could really enjoy this time of caring for my children, allowing rest and recovery. My girl is making lots of beautiful Christmas cards, my boy is reading up a storm. Both kids "won" NaNoWriMo two days ago, and continue to work on their stories. (Yes, there will be an excerpt in the portfolio.)

Kids' school years go by in the blink of an eye, and we don't want to waste time. I have only a few years left with them and they still have a lot to learn before they head off to their adult lives. But we don't want to be frantic. We can allow for rest. We have to find the balance between our family's particular needs and our legal requirements as homeschoolers. It's not necessarily easy. But we have to remember that homeschooling isn't about a particular year's production. It's about an entire childhood and beyond.

My friend Susan wrote about her family's sabbatical homeschool year. I have read this over many times and it's time again, during our unplanned sabbatical. You might find it useful and inspiring too.

It's the Carnival of Homeschooling!

2011-10-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I've participated in the Carnival of Homeschooling. I've had a long dry season during which I wasn't thinking much about homeschooling outside my own little world. But when my nicely-planned homeschool world turned sideways (which is not as dramatic as being turned upside-down), I thought about the Carnival again.

And I am particularly glad to be back this week, since it's hosted at one of my favorite blogs: Smallworld at Home.

Go check it out. There are posts about picture books, writing resources, music education, AD/HD, and much, much more.

Plans? What plans?

2011-10-08T08:16:00.000-07:00

Back in August, which seems like a very long time ago now, I was so proud of myself. I had my entire school year figured out. My books were all lined up and even purchased, mostly. Science experiments planned and materials purchased (mostly - have to wait a while for the tomato plants). I had a calendar with every week filled in, including overflow weeks and breaks, through June. Planned breaks! I'd always been one of those "we take breaks when we need them" homeschoolers. But that hadn't been working for us - it's just too easy to get up in the morning and decide we need a break - so I thought I'd try planning our vacation days ahead.

And then one of the kids got bronchitis. Who gets bronchitis in August? We just put off our plans for a bit. The bronchitis was gone in a week, but some new symptoms appeared. Weird symptoms. The family doctor couldn't figure them out. So far, the gastroenterologist can't figure them out.

"Stump the doctor" is not a game I enjoy playing.

The general consensus is there's nothing serious or life-threatening going on. But it's keeping the kid down, home, unable to do much. Concentration is hard. Field trips are impossible.

So... those great plans? Mostly shelved, for now. We're still homeschooling, and doing math and studying history and art and all those subjects, after a fashion. But it's not happening the way I'd planned.

One of the great things about my particular family configuration is the ease of homeschooling. Two kids, 18 months apart. We are able to do a lot of work together. My kids diverged in math and language arts a while ago, but we stick together on science, history, Latin, and art.   So with this sickness, and the related doctor appointments and phone calls, even the well child has had to make adjustments too: more independent, less mom-dependent, work.

We're finding our way, slowly, to a new plan. I'm still reading a little, but instead of Herodotus and Livy for our history, we moved to Susan Wise Bauer's History of the Ancient World. She's just a little more accessible, you know? We're moving more slowly. That high-school level biology plan? Not happening, at least not yet. But there are science and nature dvds at the library, on Netflix and in our own collection, so the kids are still learning.

Flexibility is one of the hallmarks of the homeschool, right? So I can decide that instead of using a writing program that seems too hard right now, we'll read and discuss and do a little writing on a classic novel: Huckleberry Finn. That hadn't been part of the plan, but, why not? This is as good a time as any.

So, plans. The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps. That is Proverbs 16:9 in the English Standard Version. We make plans, but sometimes things don't go the way we think they will.

Is the lesson "stop making plans"?   I don't think so. I don't think my time was wasted. My plan provides a good structure for the things I'd like my kids to learn this year. We are still following parts of it, and we can pick up the rest any time. Or, we can continue to modify it. We can use different materials that aren't as challenging as I might like, but fit our lives right now.
It is good to be flexible and not get upset when our plans don't work out. Don't think I haven't asked God "What's going on? What was wrong with my plans?" a time or two. Or ten.

One thing is sure: homeschooling is still the way for us. I can't even imagine a kid missing the first month and a half (so far) of school and ever getting caught up. What a burden! So, looking at the big picture, we can see this as confirmation of our, well, plans.

If you are experiencing some sort of event that is messing up your homeschool plans this year, take heart. Remember to look at the big picture and why you are homeschooling.   Remember to be flexible and look out for the possibility that there is a better plan.   I'd love to hear all about it.

How's that reading going?

2011-09-24T05:01:00.000-07:00

In January I set out to expand my reading life. I love books and reading but had found myself with no time to read, and apparently nothing to read even if I had the time. We're about 3/4 of the way through the year; how's it going?

Not so very well.

You can click on "2011 Reading" on the left to see my pathetic little list of books. It won't take you very long to scan it. What that doesn't show is the many, many books I started but didn't finish. It also doesn't show my Bible reading and most of my Bible study materials, which are mostly not books but online. But I haven't whipped my way through the Bible this year either.

So why am I not reading more? There are a few reasons.

First, I simply don't arrange my day so that I can read. I don't have a consistent time set aside to read for myself. Other things fill my days (good and bad things); I am busy. But, if I tried harder I could find 30 minutes a day to read.

Second, and maybe my real problem, is book dissatisfaction. I've been going through The Three Musketeers for a long while now. It's not that huge of a book. It's fun, but it's not compelling. I don't long to get a chance to read it during the day. I have tried to read other books while I'm still working on it. I go to the library and pick up books I've read glowing reviews of, or scan the shelves and bring home books with interesting blurbs. There's always something wrong.

(Has anyone else noticed how many books are being written in the first person? I must be picking up too much women's fiction.)

Last week we did a fun readaloud: Captain Blood. Some of us have been sickly for a while and our homeschool reading isn't going too well. Herodotus requires a level of concentration that we just don't have right now. We needed something with movement! I scanned the shelves and saw this swashbuckler novel. I don't even know why I bought this, or when. But I'm glad it was here; it was such fun. Great story, lots of action, and because of when it was written (1922), rich with unfamiliar words. Yesterday we watched the Errol Flynn/Olivia deHavilland film. Also great fun.

So, my search for good books, and the time to read them, continues. Maybe the last quarter of 2011 will make up for the first three.

Fits Day of Scool

2011-08-27T05:24:00.000-07:00

(What's that title about? Check it out here.)

Our first day of school - official sit-down-at-the-kitchen-table-and-do-math kind of school - was going to be Tuesday, August 23. Our academic year starts on July 1, and I count "school" days in the summer when I feel our activities justify it, but we hadn't done too much this year. So I was all excited about actually starting school, until I realized that Eleanor and I would be waking up in a beach resort town that morning, and wouldn't be home till dinnertime. This Girl Scout event had been planned for months! How could I have forgotten it?

So I changed our first day to Wednesday, August 24. But early that morning I called the vet to describe some symptoms our dog was exhibiting and we were told to get him in; Eleanor went with me. That took about two hours; when we got home, I had to pull together chicken and rice for the bland diet he was prescribed. By the time that was all settled, it was too late to have a first day of school.   We did spend some time looking over our new books, reacquainting ourselves with the old books, talking about routines and schedules and plans for the year. The kids read one chapter from their new science books, and answered the multiple choice questions at the end, so we did so something. But, it was not the school day I had envisioned.

So our real first day was moved to Thursday, August 25. It was going to be a half-day, since James had been invited to an event that afternoon. It is still summer, after all. But Eleanor was asked to babysit, and one of the people James does yard work for asked if he could mow before the storm hit. We like these opportunities for work and don't often turn them down. The kids learn some skills, provide help to our friends, and earn some money (or, sometimes, service hours).   In between these activities the kids did some math and the first assignment in the writing curriculum - which involved no writing. But, again, they did something.

But, I still wanted a complete first day of school. Friday? But I'd already planned to take Eleanor to the hospital for her routine back x-ray. It was quiet there, but it still took longer than we'd expected. We still had to make our planned stop at Walmart for our Friday night pizza and a few other things. The whole town was there! That's why the hospital had been so quiet - everyone was stocking up in anticipation of the big storm. The aisles were crowded. The lines were long. James called while we were there to report sickness. He had been on antibiotics for bronchitis; the cough was gone but the medicine-induced nausea had hit. He was down for the day. OK! Where's the Gatorade?

Sometimes I wonder if my kids would be better off in school, where the distractions of vet visits, grocery shopping, and jobs don't get in the way. If they were in school, we'd have gone for the back x-ray late in the afternoon and disrupted dinner instead of a school day. I would have gone to the vet and to Walmart alone. The vet visit would have been more difficult - no one can comfort our dog quite like Eleanor can - and Walmart would have taken longer because I couldn't deploy a child to fetch something for me. James would be able to keep his mowing jobs, but Eleanor wouldn't have the babysitting opportunities she has now.   Of course a child could still get sick and miss school.

But then I think about adult life; sometimes it seems like it's just one interruption after another, doesn't it? I don't think I know anyone who doesn't feel that way. We learn to adjust, change our routines, and get things done.

I just looked at the calendar for next week. It's mostly clear. We'll work on math, read history, complete our science labs, work on Scout merit badges, and write some compositions. We'll stay with our routines, mostly. But not completely, because next week is going to be sunny and hot, after the big rain this weekend. Grass will grow! Downed tree limbs might need to be cleared. Someone will need a babysitter.

So math might get done at 4 pm instead of 9 am sometimes. Or on Saturday morning instead of Friday afternoon. We might read history during lunch or after dinner.

Real life. It's what school's all about. Forget about the big first day; our school year has started.

Controller of the Universe

2011-08-13T06:04:00.000-07:00

My Boy Scout is away at camp this week. This is his third year at this particular camp with is own troop; his second as a patrol leader. (A patrol is a small group of boys within the larger troop.) This week at camp is usually a highlight of his year. Yes, usually. But not this year.

This year he wasn't so sure about going. He had previously told us that he'd recently started getting homesick while away at weekend camps. This was bothering him so much he skipped one trip earlier this summer. But as a leader, he can't bail out on too many activities. And a Boy Scout who doesn't want to go camping isn't going to be a Boy Scout for long.

So as summer camp approached he was feeling less happy anticipation and more unfocused dread. I know that feeling so well; too well. When he said "I keep hoping that something will happen and camp will be canceled" I knew we were getting into trouble. I often have that feeling when an event is approaching and I don't feel ready for it. It happens almost every time we are expecting company. I attribute it to my own disorganization: it's hard to look forward to a party when the bathroom still needs cleaning and there aren't enough clean forks and glasses an hour before guests are to arrive. But this was different.

As we peeled away the layers of his feelings, we discovered that he's inherited more from me than his love of books: control of the universe. I inherited it from my mom, too! And now I am passing it on to him.

He told me, "I'm afraid something will happen to one of you (meaning our whole family and the dog), or to me, while I'm away."

Yes, there it is: he controls the universe.

As I've been working on myself to relinquish that feeling that I control the universe, I didn't realize that I was just passing it on to him.

We went over all his fears and talked them over - endlessly, it seemed; that last week before camp was exhausting. He listed the bad things that had happened to people at camp. Nearly all of them were the result of poor judgment on the part of the victim, and even the one that seemed like a random, unexpected medical problem could have been caused by a boy simply not drinking enough water on a hot day.

We talked about the fact that we believe in a sovereign God - a God who truly does control the universe. We talked about the fact that God does allow bad things to happen to people, but that we still need to trust in him that it will all come right in the end.

We agreed that God is a better controller of the universe than any of us.

Did that help? I don't know. He stayed at camp. He sent a letter telling of fun during the day and homesickness at night. We will see him tonight for dinner and the closing campfire and awards ceremony. Camp doesn't end till tomorrow morning, so he will stay another night.

When he gets home, we'll start working on him to relinquish his notion of control. I'd like him to give it up before he has a child to pass it on to! That's an inheritance I don't want to leave.

The 31 days blog challenge

2011-08-13T05:09:00.000-07:00

Here's something that's intriguing me this morning: You're Invited: 31 Days of Change. It's a blog challenge hosted at The Nesting Place. Pick a topic and write about it every day in October. Every day? I am not sure I am up to that challenge. What would I write about every day for a month?

Homeschooling? Cooking? I am working on getting my kids cooking more. Reading? Hmm.... "last night I read 3 pages of The Three Musketeers before falling asleep." Compelling isn't that? You'd come by every day for a month for that, wouldn't you? How about "31 days of improving my reading life"?

I'm not sure about this. But with a month and a half to think about it, I might just... think about it! And you should too.

Curriculum Week! at Heart of the Matter Online

2011-08-01T17:03:00.000-07:00

It's Curriculum Week at Heart of the Matter Online's Not Back to School Blog Hop and this year I am ready! Last year I missed this week because I didn't have my plans together. I'm doing a little better this time around.

This year I have a 7th grader and an 8th/9th grader.   So it's time to start thinking about high school a little more seriously. My kids have done a lot of their schooling together and I'm trying to keep it that way as much as possible, while not shortchanging the new highschooler or overwhelming the new middleschooler.

Last winter we started Veritas Press Omnibus I, which covers Ancient History, Theology, and Literature, and we'll continue with that, moving into Omnibus II sometime in early 2012. I'm hoping it will work for us for the duration; it's hard to find a history curriculum that fits us. I don't do well with "just reading" - I need a plan. Since my kids still love to be read to, we'll do a combination of reading together and reading separately.

I'm excited yet a little nervous about Science this year. Taking a cue from The Well-Trained Mind, we're using Biology: A Self-Teaching Guide by Steven Daniel Garber (Wiley Self-Teaching Guides) as our main text, and supplementing with activities from Janice Van Cleave's A+ Projects in Biology. I'm not sure how well this will work for my 7th grader, so if it is too burdensome, I've keyed sections of the Usborne Internet-Linked Encyclopedia of Science and David Macaulay's The Way We Work for her. I'll just be watching to see how it goes. It's nice to be ready with an alternate plan for once.

We've never used a specific all-inclusive curriculum for English and we're not starting now. My 7th grader will continue with Our Mother Tongue by Nancy Davis (published by Canon Press). We'll also do Writing Strands 4, which is our first encounter with this curriculum, and weekly writing from various prompts. My 9th grader does not like to write and needs a lot of practice; along with the Writing Strands work, he will be working on several Boy Scout merit badges this year that require short essays and such. He'll also continue using AVKO Sequential Spelling.    In November both kids will do NaNoWriMo again, but I don't think I'll be doing it this year. They get to pick their word counts; I don't, and I don't have time to throw together 50,000 in a month!

Math is one area my kids are not working together. James will start Algebra I with Life of Fred, Khan Academy, and Dad. Eleanor is working in fractions, also via Life of Fred, Khan, and Key To Fractions.

We'll continue to do Bible Study via Starr Meade's The Most Important Thing You'll Ever Study. Latin via Getting Started with Latin, which we have been stuck in for a long, long time; we should finish in a few months and then I'm not sure where to go next. They get their PE at the YMCA and our backyard and neighborhood.

Eleanor takes piano lessons but James needs something for Music. I have tried doing "Composer of the Month" a la Charlotte Mason before and it never works well for us. This year I'm thinking of "Genre of the Month" where we explore different forms of music, from classical to blues to show tunes to pop/rock. This might work better, or at least be a little more fun.

Last year we had some great Art lessons from a teacher who lost her job when her school closed. She is planning to teach homeschoolers again this year, so we'll probably do that again.   I also found (via Pinterest; who says it's a waste of time?) some art lessons put together by Concordia University. They are listed for 1st - 6th grades, but look like they could work for older kids too. I have to admit I have not studied them in great detail yet.

Like Sandy, I decided not to put links in; most of the materials are easy to find online. You can also check the left sidebar under "Educational Materials We Like" for links to some of the books and programs we're using. Leave a comment if you have a question or can't find something you're interested in.

I am joining hundreds of other bloggers linking up to Heart of the Matter Online. Come join us!

Planning fool

2011-07-31T18:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I bragged about having my science curriculum all figured out for our next academic year. Today I carried on and came up with a (nearly) complete plan for our homeschool for the entire year. There are some odds and ends missing but it's mostly done.

I can't even believe it. I've never done so much planning before. Never ever.

It's really rather exciting. I might not be flying by the seat of my pants this year. I could be organized. I could avoid wasting a lot of time wandering around muttering to myself.

I might have time to leave my kids alone one morning a week to go out and sit in a cafe and drink coffee while I read and/or write.

Wow. I might even participate in Curriculum Week at the Not Back to School Blog Hop at Heart of the Matter Online. But not tonight. I'm kind of tired of typing. Planning is a lot of work. But oh, so satisfying, know what I mean? It'll be even more satisfying if I can pull it all off!

2011/2012 Science plans

2011-07-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today, I spent a lot of time doing homeschool planning, mostly for science. I may have done more planning today than I have ever done in my homeschool mom career. I mean, more today than in the entire 7 or 8 years I've already been homeschooling. I've not been much of a planner.

Science has always been tough for me; this is not unusual for homeschool moms. I've never found a curriculum I liked, at all. We've done a lot of reading, and experiments, and some lab sheets, but never anything really formal. I think my kids are on grade level with science; that's what the standardized test scores show, anyway. James does a lot of reading on his own; Eleanor comes a long a bit reluctantly. They both loved studying the Leafcutter ants and now are enjoying a book (and Netflix documentaries, and youtube videos) on giant squid

But James is moving into high school and now we're talking about credits. Unschooling science doesn't work for me anymore. So, I've been researching and reading and buying, and today I planned everything out.

Our main text is Biology: A Self-Teaching Guide by Steven D. Garber. I got the idea for this from The Well-Trained Mind, and I think most of us are going to like it. It's a very straightforward text; there are some drawings and charts but no color illustrations or photos. Each chapter has a list of terms to know, multiple choice questions with an answer key, and "questions to think about" with no answer key. Most of the chapters will take two weeks: the first week for reading, the second week for going over the terms and answering the questions. I probably won't have the kids answer all the essay-type questions, but rather a few each time.

I also pulled out my copy of Janice VanCleave's A+ Projects in Biology. The Home Science Tools catalog says that all the activities in this book are equivalent to a year of biology; the age range is 9-14. We're not going to do every activity. I looked through it and picked the ones that looked most interesting and scheduled them out through the year. Some are keyed to the chapter of our main text; some are not. I couldn't find an activity to fit each chapter perfectly. I included everything needed for the experiment/activity so I won't be walking around muttering angrily at myself for forgetting to save milk jugs or buying iodine and distilled water. We'll also mess around - finally - with the soil test kit we bought last year.

While I was doing all this my eye fell on our Usborne Internet-linked Encyclopedia of Science (the link is to a newer edition than we have). Hey! We could use that too! So I went through that and keyed pages to chapters in our main text. This will most likely be helpful to Eleanor more than James.

She is not high school age yet, so this might be a little difficult for her. Or she might make it difficult for herself; she's that kind of girl sometimes. So I'll have to see how it goes for her; she doesn't need a science credit yet. I think the use of the Usborne Encyclopedia will really help her out. The format is a little more engaging and perhaps more accessible for her.

When I was almost finished, I remembered that we own the book The Way We Work by David Macaulay. I am not sure I need another resource, or can squeeze anything more in, but I may check out the chapters and see what fits where. That might also be more accessible to my 7th grader.

I have our plan mostly typed up and scheduled. The hard part will be keeping up with the schedule. I've never, ever had a schedule in our homeschool. We've always reveled in our freedom to take days off when we want or need to, and I've never tried to finish a particular book by a particular day. I built in some vacations (including 3 weeks off for Christmas) and we're going to try to stick to it. I'm very good at letting distractions sidetrack me, so it will be a challenge for all of us!

I don't want to make our first high school year tedious, or boring, or schoolish. Still, it might be time to get a little more serious around here.

Better than free cheese

2011-07-30T12:30:00.000-07:00

Last night while we were out enjoying a lovely dinner with friends, a wild storm came up. The wind was blowing, there was lightning and thunder, and sheets of rain coming down hard. By the time we left (the moment the resident 4-year-old hit her oops-we-missed-her-bedtime meltdown), the rain had stopped.

We pulled into our driveway and were caught up short. There was a huge tree limb in the space the car usually sits. It had come off a tree that stands right next to the driveway.

But, while the tree limb was coming down, our car was in our friends' driveway and we were eating delicious fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and green beans so delicious my kids asked for more. Or, maybe we were on the blueberry cobbler at the time the tree fell.

It doesn't matter where we were; it matters where the car wasn't: under the tree. Crushed. It would have been totaled. And it's an old car; even if the insurance does cover tree-crashing, we wouldn't get enough to buy another car.

We just stood there gaping and marveling at God's providence to us. This was even better, way better, than the free cheese I came across earlier this week. A huge blessing.

As we cleaned up today I thought about this blessing. I thought about people I know who might scoff at my thankfulness and bring up all the terrible things people endure: devastating illness, the loss of a child, foreclosure and homelessness. Why doesn't God fix those things? Why bother with the small stuff, like cheese and cars?

I came to this conclusion: in these small things, God reminds us that he is in control. And that he does take care of us, in big things and small. We just have to remember that in his care, he allows unpleasant, difficult events and circumstances along with the blessings.

This might not be so easy for me to say if I had, say, a child dying of cancer or was in the midst of losing my home. I don't have any insurmountable trials to endure right now, which is not to say I have no trials at all.

But in my experience, even people undergoing great trials see small things as blessings too. And these small gifts from God help them to go on.

So I am very thankful for the providence that caused us to be out when the tree fell apart. And I will add that to my list of blessings to remember, when I am in a situation that causes me to wonder how much God really cares.

So much for summer school

2011-07-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

Two months of summer vacation is too long.   Kids get bored, they forget important skills such as how to get up in the morning and do basic math, they get lazy.

So I try to avoid a long summer vacation in my little homeschool when I can. This year, as in the past, I had some nice summer school plans made.

And then, it all just went out the window. Yesterday, I decided to surrender to summer and set a back-to-school date. I've never had a back-to-school date before. But this year I need one, because at some point we need to get back to school work.

So why didn't summer school happen?

I am not sure. We did go on a vacation; that took three days. The kids participated in Vacation Bible School; that took a week (and counted as school hours).   Both of my kids went to day camps that were educational and fun. They also spent time working for other people! Babysitting and yard work took up a bit of time. Both kids have done a lot of reading on their own, and we have done some reading together. We've been to the movies and we've gone hiking. We've had a lot of doctor and dentist appointments. Boy Scout summer camp is coming up and there is always a lot of preparation for that.

Some of those activities count as school time, but... it wasn't the summer school that I had planned on.

Well, we know that planning doesn't equal getting it done, does it?

So school starts on August 23. I have to admit that once I made the decision to call of the summer school that wasn't happening anyway, I felt better.   The pressure is off a little, so I feel like I can take some time to do some better planning than I usually manage to do. Most homeschool moms like the planning better than the actual schooling, anyway. We can achieve something close to perfection in the planning stage; that's not possible during implementation.

Maybe there is a good reason for summer vacation after all.

My free cheese story

2011-07-27T20:00:00.000-07:00

Today I was tasked with contributing to a reception at church. I was supposed to bring cheese.

Since I hadn't planned on going to the store today and didn't need anything else, I decided to go to the closest store. That's the only thing good about it - it's close. It's also poorly stocked, has poor produce, and high prices on most things. But I figured they would have some sort of spreadable cheese.

Their selection was slim but I did see some tubs of cheese on special - buy one get one free! So I took two tubs, swung by the cracker aisle and picked up some Wheat Thins or something, and got in the long express line. I wasn't sure I was supposed to bring crackers but didn't want to show up with cheese and no way to eat it.

As I stood in line I wondered if I would have a problem with my buy-one-get-one-free cheese. I have had a lot of problems with sale items in that store. And sure enough, when the cashier rang up my order, I was charged for two tubs of cheese. I started to protest but the guy stopped me: "Is this on sale?" "Yes." "OK, let me go check." Oh man, here we go. I had to tell him where the cheese was and he ran off. I apologized to the lady right behind me. She was gracious.

The cashier came back quickly enough and told me that I was right. Yeah, I knew that. So he fiddled with the transaction and told me my total was $1.99. What?! That was just for the crackers. I said "you still need to charge me for one thing of cheese."

No, it turns out he did not. He told me that because of the error, I got the first tub of cheese free. The 2nd tub was free because of the sale (which was really over, but the sign was still on the shelf). So I got $15 worth of cheese for nothing.

Can't beat a deal like that!

Jumping on the Pinterest bandwagon

2011-07-27T04:06:00.000-07:00

Do I have time for a new social media site?

No, not really. But I was fascinated when a friend told me about Pinterest, the online bulletin board site. Even before I signed up I could see it was a dangerous place. I could spend hours looking at peoples' pins of crafting ideas, recipes, flowers, colors...

It took me a few days to sign up, and then even longer to feel comfortable with it. I was suspicious. How is this site ever going to make money? What kind of information is the "pinmarklet" in my toolbar (the device that allows me to grab the pictures and pin them) gathering? What about copyright?

I searched the web for negative information about the site but couldn't find any. I am still unsure about a few things, but once started, it's hard to stop. I've found lots of new recipes and tons of craft ideas for Eleanor.

Ah, Eleanor. She fell in love when she saw it too, and immediately wanted her own account. But, you've got to be 13, baby. She's got half a year to go. Sigh. Online life begins at 13.

But when she's browsing craft sites and finds something she loves, she pins it to my board. I don't let her browse all of Pinterest herself. I'm not sure I'll want to even once she is 13. Sandy noticed this problem too: there is so much that is beautiful and useful there, but there's the ugliness too. The fashions that - really, you'd wear that? In public? The "cute" sayings in pretty script but with vulgar or profane language. (Why are women all of a sudden so vulgar and profane, anyway?) Pictures of and links to products I don't want my child to know exist.

I'll be looking for boards to follow that my daughter can look at and enjoy with me. So if you have a Pinterest account, and it's family-friendly, please let me know. Or come find me there. You can see the red button on the left. It rather stands out in my blues, doesn't it?

You might find things you don't like in my boards, but you won't find anything your daughter shouldn't see.

VBS Guilt

2011-07-23T04:57:00.000-07:00

Last week our new church had VBS: Vacation Bible School. Three-fourths of my family participated either as helper or student. I declined.

Well, technically I didn't decline; I was never directly asked to participate. No one walked up to me and said "can you please help with VBS next week?" But there is always a need for volunteers.

My husband is the pastoral intern at the church, so his participation was a no-brainer.

My son helped out at VBS at our last church, in the games area, and had a great time. So he was ready to help again. Only thing: this year he didn't get games. He was placed in the kindergarten class! He was a good sport, though: "I would have liked to do games, but, I guess this is where they need me." That's the spirit a mom wants to see.

My daughter's participation was not certain till the last moment. Last year she was a helper at VBS, but this church's classes go up to age 12. So, she had to go back to being a student. Not an easy thing to do!   But she was a good sport and went along with it.

I think most 12-year-old who have been consistently going to church and Sunday School are too old for VBS. I'm sure it's great for kids who aren't immersed in Bible stories all the time.   But the kids who are? They need something more, and that is not generally provided by VBS.   Besides, the prizes are just so silly and little kid-ish.   She would have learned more by helping in a classroom. But, oh well.

I'm glad she went because I took those mornings for myself. I had a to-do list to conquer and I did get a good bit of it done. When they walked out the door on Monday morning, I hit the list and didn't stop till it was time to pick up the kids at noon.

By Wednesday, though, we were down to one car. I lost some time driving everyone church in the morning. That was unfortunate, but, you know, things happen. It reminded me of our first two years here, when life with one car was the standard.   We got used to having two cars!

On Friday I did stop and have some cafe time in between dropping everyone off and going to an appointment.   Coffee at home is cheaper, but reading in a cafe feels so luxurious.

There wasn't time for the hammock, and mostly it was too hot anyway. I'm mostly happy with the work I got done.

But throughout the week I did feel that pang of guilt for not helping at the VBS. There were women there who'd been teaching VBS for 15 years. It never occurs to them to take a break. I've done it, oh, I don't know, 5 times. Maybe 4. And I needed a break.

So maybe next year I'll work VBS again. Next summer we should be moving. Maybe we can time it so that we're traveling during VBS week. Or maybe the timing will be such that we'll catch VBS and both old church and new. I don't think I want to contemplate that too hard.

Everyone's sleeping a little late this morning. VBS is tiring. Well, I'm not sleeping in because I'm not that tired. I feel pretty good! And not guilty anymore.

Give a girl a challenge...

2011-07-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago my girl received a challenge.

We were at the library and she was checking out a huge number of books. Well, probably 10, maybe 15. Not so huge. The man in line behind her looked at her stack and asked:

Are you really going to read all those books in 3 weeks?

She smiled nicely and said yes. She turned to me and rolled her eyes. The librarian gave her a wink.

In the car, she grumbled a little. It was hard to read the man's voice (given that we didn't know him); was there a slightly sarcastic or condescending edge to it, or was he just being friendly? We opted for friendly. We try never to assume malice when clumsiness will do as an explanation for behavior.

Of course she read them all. It wasn't even that hard. She's on the upper edge of the juvenile section so she can chew through those books pretty handily. We face the "young adult" section with trepidation. YA authors are vying to be seen as the most cutting-edge and we are not cutting-edge people. Anne of Green Gables is about our speed right now. We're skipping the teen paranormal romance.

We returned them within about two weeks. She's unlikely to ever encounter that man again, and it wouldn't matter if she did. But she won't forget him for a while, that man who doubted her.

Do you remember lovely summers spent buried in books? I do.

One of my problems

2011-07-14T19:04:00.000-07:00

I am always trying to find just the right notebook(s) for my little homeschool. I don't need much; just something to record our daily activities. A calendar with enough, but not too much, space. Pages to write notes and lists. The other day I thought I'd found it, but I hadn't. I am still looking.

I could find these things online, or I could make them up myself. I never like what I make, though. Today I figured out one of my problems: I want my notebooks pages to be pretty. I want paper with a little flowered border, or some stripes or dots or something that is not just black and white.

So if I could just find the right printer paper, in the right colors with the right design on it, I could make some snappy notebook pages and then, look out world, I would be effective, organized, efficient.

OK, at least I'd have pretty notebooks.

Why does that make a difference to me?

I can't be the only person who writes more carefully and neatly when I have nice paper to write on, can I?

Many books, little reading

2011-07-12T05:04:00.000-07:00

2011 was going to be my year for reading. I was going to reclaim my status as a reader. Now the year is half over. How am I doing?

Not so well, really.

I've completed 20 books; 9 were read-alouds in our homeschool. I guess those count, particularly books like The Odyssey and Chosen by God, which were just as valuable for me as they were for the kids.

I have two books listed as "in process" on my "2011 Reading" page. But that is really not quite true. I have a few books in process right now. I just can't settle on one, sit down, and read it through right now.

I wanted a fun adventure story so I picked up The Three Musketeers. Then I heard about Blackout - a novel involving time travel and World War II - so I started that for myself and as a preview for my 14-year-old. While browsing the library I came across Farthing, an alternate history wherein the Nazis prevail in World War II; I had just been talking about alternate history so that piqued my interest. I am still reading Bonhoeffer; it is very good but not always what one wants to read on a summer day in the hammock. Yesterday I started reading Herodotus' Histories for our summer school. (Yes, ancient history as summer reading. It's a good antidote to all the Tom Clancy and Royal Diaries my kids are inhaling right now.)

I've been managing just a few pages a night with my own personal reading. It's been a busy summer. That comment about the hammock? Wishful thinking!

Still, I think I am doing better than last year, though I didn't keep records then.

My kids are doing better than I am. As part of their homeschooling, I require them to log the books they read. Each child read about 50 this year; not all of it high quality, as noted above. Many times I have regretted not logging the books I read as a kid. Wouldn't it be fun to see what you were reading at 10, 15, 22? I don't think my kids see the value of logging their books yet. They do it because I make them. But I'll keep those logs and someday they will enjoy marveling over the books they read when they were teens.

Or, they'll recycle them with hardly a glance. Who can predict?

What are you reading this summer? Do you keep track of your books?

The ant project

2011-07-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

[This post has been in draft status since May 15. That's how long it's taken me to get at the photos.]

Right now there are "pavement ants" dropping dirt onto my dryer from the ceiling above. We can't seem to get rid of them. I hate them. Who doesn't hate ants in the house, or at the picnic?

But there are other ants that are not so hateable. We had a good time last month reading about Leafcutter Ants. The Leafcutters are so interesting my kids did a project around them. I've told you before that my kids don't produce anything, at least not willingly. Yet, they decided, or maybe agreed, to do it. That is how cool Leafcutter Ants are.

The diagram is from Enchanted Learning, and no, we are not subscribers. We used to be, when the kids were younger. I haven't printed anything from them in a few years, but since I had subscribed for a while, I didn't feel too guilty taking this one thing. The subscription was worth it when the kids were younger.

It started with a library book. Doesn't just about everything? Whenever I step into our local branch I scan the new nonfiction shelves. There are always new books that look interesting there, and I never fail to pick something up. Sometimes we never get around to reading what I bring home. But this time we did.

The Leafcutter Ants: Civilization by Instinct is a beautiful book. Yes, the photographs of ants are gorgeous. And amazing. We couldn't stop marveling over the pictures in this book. And then we started reading it.

I'll admit that the beginning was tough. Lots of technical terms, not all explained in the glossary. (But that's what dictionaries are for, right?) I thought maybe we wouldn't get beyond the first chapter. But we kept going, and the book just got better and better. My kids even took notes while I read it. OK, I did demand it. But they didn't argue. They always argue about taking notes. There is a lot of evolution talk, so some folks won't like that. If that bothers you, you could skip those bits and go right into ant behavior.

Eleanor had fun cutting out the leaves and drawing the little ants. This doesn't look much like a leafcutter, but it's still cute.

We don't belong to any kind of homeschool coop, and our support group really doesn't exist as such anymore, so we didn't have a science fair. But we decided to pretend that we did, so the kids could make a display. They also made a papier-mache model of an ant mound, with the intent of making a cross-section to show tunnels. They didn't plan ahead, though, and it didn't work out. It was still fun, and an interesting, if not completely satisfying, learning experience.

Here are some of the sites they used for their research:

University of Michigan's Animal Diversity Web (usually our first stop when researching animals of any kind)

Lurker'sGuide to Leafcutter Ants

National Science Foundation has a video about Leafcutters.

National Geographic, of course.

I wonder what science project we'll do next!

Mean blogger

2011-07-03T18:29:00.000-07:00

So someone told me (privately, of course) that I was a mean blogger the other day, when I commented on seeing a homeschool portfolio with the child's picture on the front when I was at the school district office picking up my own portfolios. Here is what I said:

As I was walking out, one last binder caught my eye. The cover sported a photo of a cute smiling boy. I recognized him from some homeschool activities; I don't really know his family but we have crossed paths a few times. If I wanted to be a mean person, I would point out that that portfolio looked like the cover of the stereotypical homeschool magazines we all love to mock. If you are a homeschooler, you know what I'm talking about - the one with the child joyfully doing math or helping a younger sibling with a science experiment, maybe with a smiling mom in the background, all perfectly coiffed and wearing cute plaid shirts or jumpers.

That was mean? Really? I said the boy was cute! (He was.)

I guess I will give a nonapologetic politician-style apology and say:

I'm sorry if anyone was offended. It was meant as a light-hearted sort of commentary, and was my true first reaction on seeing the photo.

I don't hate you if you put a photo of your kid on his portfolio. I don't understand you, but that's OK. You don't understand me either. Fair enough?

A funny homeschool phenomenon

2011-07-02T05:35:00.000-07:00

Summer is homeschool planning season. Even year-round homeschoolers seem to take some time in summer to plan ahead for the next academic year. And along with the curriculum talk comes the talk about grade levels.

One of the benefits of homeschooling is the ability to work at different grade levels in the various subjects. A child could be great at math and able to work at a higher grade level than, say, at language arts. Some kids chew up the language arts books and write well, while their math is a little weaker. It doesn't much matter for a child not in school. Most kids I know, homeschooled or not, do not perform equally well in all subjects. Grade levels are necessary for mass education, but not for individuals.

For a long time my kids were typical homeschoolers, clueless when asked what grade they were in. That's just not something that comes up at home. We don't worry about what grade our math books are written for; we do a book, then do the next book. We don't think about what grade level novels are written for; if the child can read and respond to a book (and the content is appropriate, of course), it's the right level.

But, people do ask. We're getting that question a lot lately, because we recently changed churches and are meeting a lot of new people. In our family, the answer is the grade the child would be in if he or she had gone to school like a normal person. So this summer I have a rising 7th grader and a rising 9th grader. Easy.

The phenomenon? Some people like to answer that question with a little more detail, but, apparently, only if it reflects well on the child. When the grade level conversation comes up among homeschoolers, I might hear or read things like this:

"My daughter tells people she's in 4th grade but that she reads at a 7th grade level."

"I tell people my son would be in 5th grade but is reading at 9th grade level and doing 7th grade math."

"My son answers with 'I'm in 3rd grade but can read 7th grade books and do 5th grade math!'"

Do you see a pattern here?

Do you notice that no one says "I'm in 7th grade but doing 5th grade math, 6th grade language arts and 9th grade science"?

No, and you're not going to. Despite all the talk about freedom to work at the child's own pace, and lack of concern about grade levels on the parents' parts, you are unlikely to hear anyone mention that they are below grade level in any subject area. Oh, a small group of moms, friends, will talk about it together. But publicly, every homeschool child is well above grade level, even when grade level doesn't matter.

My kids have only a vague idea what grade levels they are working in. I guess my son knows he's slightly below his age peers in math because the boys engage in math talk sometimes. But we don't talk about it much. I don't show my kids their standardized test scores; I just tell them they did fine.

It's not good for the children to hear their parents telling people (or tell people themselves) all the ways in which they are superior. It sounds like bragging. It sounds like insecurity.

"What grade are you in?" is a simple question, generally requiring a simple answer. There is no need to get into detail in most conversations. Most people are just asking in order to place the child in their world. They're really asking "will your child be in youth group with mine?" or "What Sunday School class will he go to?" Or it's just a way to make brief conversation. The grocery store clerk is just being friendly; she doesn't really care, and saying anything more than a simple "6th grade" isn't going to make them think more highly of you, your kids, or homeschooling in general.

And, think how it sounds to other kids. You meet up with someone and people exchange grade levels. Your kid has to tell the subjects he's above grade level in. You think the other kids are impressed? You think the other kids are going to like him better because he's in 5th grade but doing 9th grade math? Think again!

Back from the land of the 3-inch binder

2011-07-01T12:09:00.000-07:00

My school district homeschool liaison - the person who reviews homeschool portfolios - called today to tell me mine were ready to be picked up. I was surprised at the quick turnaround; the deadline was just yesterday and usually it's mid-July before the reviews are done. Since I was going to be out driving all over town today anyway, I stopped right in to pick them up.

Good thing I did, too, because the office is small and there were a lot of portfolios in there. As always, my 1-inch binders were a little hard to find in the midst of all the packed 3-inchers. I admit that I gazed around in wonder at the huge binders, packed full. I wanted to peruse them! How do people generate so much paperwork?

The liaison interpreted my wonder as insecurity. She reassured me that our portfolios were fine (though she will send the official approval letter later on) and that the big ones were... unnecessary. She quickly added that she enjoys looking through them, even though they contain much more than they need to. There was one binder that must have been at least 5, maybe 6 inches thick - probably the biggest binder I've ever seen. It was so packed things were falling out. She did sigh a little when she saw me staring at that one.

I told her that the size and contents of the portfolio is a constant topic of discussion among homeschool moms. She just laughed, and said "well, some people do like to keep it all, like a scrapbook."

Yes, indeed. I'd heard that before, from a very earnest mom who proclaimed "I can't bear to throw any of it out!" She seemed unable to comprehend the plain fact that "not turning it all in" does not have to equal "throwing it all out."   I am not kidding.

No doubt I have ranted about minimal compliance here before. This is the concept that we give the state what the law requires of us; no more and no less. It doesn't mean having an adversarial relationship with the school district; it just means we know what we are required to do, and we do it.   Some people complain that over-achievers who turn in every math worksheet and composition make it harder for those of us who don't. I don't usually get into that argument, but I understand it. If it appears homeschoolers want to be give the school district everything, they may come to expect it, and then require it.   But, it doesn't really matter to me what other people do, as long as I am not required to follow suit.

I also see the difference between a scrapbook full of keepsakes and a legal document, which is what the portfolio is while it is in the hands of the school district. I will keep some of my kids' work samples, their book lists, and the photos they took to document trips and projects. But the daily log proving we fulfilled our 180 days? The daily checklist on which I dutifully marked off every subject we covered? Who cares?

As I was walking out, one last binder caught my eye. The cover sported a photo of a cute smiling boy. I recognized him from some homeschool activities; I don't really know his family but we have crossed paths a few times.   If I wanted to be a mean person, I would point out that that portfolio looked like the cover of the stereotypical homeschool magazines we all love to mock. If you are a homeschooler, you know what I'm talking about - the one with the child joyfully doing math or helping a younger sibling with a science experiment, maybe with a smiling mom in the background, all perfectly coiffed and wearing cute plaid shirts or jumpers.

(What do our covers look like? They bear the child's name, my name, and our home address and phone. Last year Eleanor drew some flowers on hers; she was going to do a new cover this year but never got around to it. James didn't decorate his. He's into minimal compliance too.)

At that I decided I was getting too close to invading someone's privacy and got out. I would have enjoyed talking to the liaison about the finer points of portfolio construction. But she was busy. She had a lot of huge binders to get through.

I felt so light as I walked out the door.

Feels like coming home

2011-06-24T20:07:00.000-07:00

Mention Watkins Glen to most people, and they will think of auto racing. But some of us know what Watkins Glen is really all about.

Watkins Glen is a village, and a state park, in the Finger Lakes region of New York, right at the bottom of Seneca Lake. As a kid, I camped there with my family. Glen Creek runs through the park, and has cut a stunning one-and-a-half mile gorge full of waterfalls and wonder. I don't know how many times we visited, but the last time had to be sometime before 1965, so I was pretty young. I remembered that I loved it, though, and went back in about 1983 on my own for a brief walk-through on my way between a family wedding and an old-friend reunion.

800+ steps carved into the stone.

Since we moved back east in 2007, I've been thinking about the glen off and on. I wanted to go back! But our time was so limited during those seminary years. I despaired of showing my own kids this favorite childhood place. But we were given a gift of time, and found 3 days for vacation. Only 3 days! But enough time to drive the four hours north.

View of the creek from above.

I haven't lived in New York since I was a little girl and certainly don't think of New York as home anymore. Yet as we approached the border I felt this odd sense of coming home. I was so excited to be in New York State again. I was ready to motor right on up to the Glen and get on the trail through the gorge. But we had decided to stop in Corning at the Corning Museum of Glass. That was interesting and enjoyable, but I was restless. I wanted to get moving!

There are 3 falls you can walk behind.

By the time we reached the village of Watkins Glen, everyone was tired and hungry. We went to our motel, rested a minute and then went to find dinner. By the time that was done, it was near dark and too late to go to the park. Our motel was just across the street from one of the entrances, but... I had to wait.

The Suspension Bridge, 85 feet above the creek. One year, flood waters came within 5 feet of the bridge.

The next morning I woke up early, way too early. Thunder! The forecast had mentioned the threat of rain, but not till the afternoon. We thought we had the morning for our hike. Once again I felt restless and couldn't go back to sleep. Finally I got up and dressed as quietly as I could. The rain had stopped. I slipped out the door and walked across the street to the park. I didn't really want to get into the gorge till I had my family with me. I just wandered a little bit and stood over the creek on the suspension bridge. That is above the gorge trail, so technically I wasn't on it. Finally I felt as if I could breathe. I was home!

When I got back to the motel, people were starting to move. I tried not to be impatient and hustle them too much. I endured breakfast at Burger King and then we were off. Rather than walking to the entrance close to the motel, we drove to the main gate. I didn't want to start the trail in the middle. Though I don't have a good picture of it, there is a tunnel through the stone to begin the trail. I wanted my family to experience the Glen that way.

They were as enchanted with the Glen as I was. Who wouldn't be? It is a truly magical place.

We spent the morning hiking, then went off to spend the afternoon on other adventures. But this morning, the last day of our trip, Eleanor and I got up early and slipped out together. We went to the playground and checked out the lily pond. We also looked at the pool and made our plan for the day...

Was the pool there when I visited as a kid? I don't know. If there was one, it wasn't this huge beauty of a pool. Before we hit the road to come home, we stopped in for a couple of hours of swimming.

We did do some other fun things on this short trip, but the visit to the Glen was the highlight for me. I don't know if I'll ever go back. If I don't I hope my kids will. And their kids, and their kids...

Some Watkins Glen linkage for you:

Slide show of the gorge and park information from nyfalls.com

New York State Office of Parks, Recreation, and Historic Preseveration

In and out

2011-06-18T09:19:00.000-07:00

Just when I think I am going to start blogging again, I get busy, or bored, or can't think of anything to say. And weeks go by...

Last week the kids had work mowing lawns and babysitting, and their bank accounts are growing. I'm happy to see that they like earning money.

I actually finished a book in a relatively short amount of time. I'm still not sure I liked it, but I might talk about it more another time. It's Children and Fire by Ursula Hegi, an author I have had mixed experience with. Her books remind me a little of Zola's - grim, realistic fiction, well-written. Not lovely, really.

We also spent a lot of time this week working in the garage and receiving a load of furniture and other belongings that we'd left behind in Oregon when we left four years ago. It's been challenging finding space for some of the things, and there are more than a few items we wished we'd told our renters to leave at the house. I am happy about some additional storage space! Eleanor has a "new" dresser in her room, a sweet old thing my mother had bought for me years ago at an antiques auction. And I'm happy that my mom's old marble-topped, tile-backed washstand fit in my room (after we moved a small bookcase out); that is a treasure and I'm happy to have it back.

Summer school? Hasn't happened yet. The intern starts his job in another week and then maybe the kids and I will get back to a routine. We have a lot of books we want to read, and a lot of places we want to go.

Moving On

2011-05-29T13:43:00.000-07:00

Today was a bittersweet day at church: Our last day at the place we've worshiped and served for the last 3 1/2 years. The ex-seminarian will take the position of pastoral intern at another church nearby, and of course we are all going with him.

It was hard to stand up in front of the congregation to receive thanks and goodbyes from everyone. We like our church and the people in it. Some have become good friends. Of course, we will still see them. It's the people who are not-quite-good friends that will disappear. You know how those good intentions to stay in touch work out.

In some ways, though, I breathed a sigh of relief as we walked out the door. Like all churches, ours had problems, some pretty serious. Our next church has problems, too, I'm sure, but we won't be in the midst of them right away. We can be ignorant for a little while!

It will also be nice to take a break from serving. Is that OK to say? We did a pretty good bit of work, the ex-seminarian most of all. We were happy to do it, and mostly it wasn't a burden. I will admit that nursery duty is something I do reluctantly and more from a feeling of obligation than one of joyful service. It'll be nice, for a little while, to be like 80% of the people, just sitting the in the pews, partaking of others' service. It probably won't last long, though. Churches need people who are willing to work, even at things they don't particularly like. I haven't developed the skill of deflecting work that needs to be done. Too bad so many other people have!

Graduation Day

2011-05-26T06:52:00.000-07:00

We always knew that the time would go by quickly, but here it is already graduation day for the seminarian. I guess I have to come up with a new name for him. The intern? Probably not.

Sometimes the last four years seemed so hard. It seemed like the school years would never end. Other times it seemed like it'd be fun to just go on like this forever.

Not a whole lot will change in our lives after graduation day. The graduate will have a few weeks off, then he'll start an internship at a local church. We will change churches, but not houses. We'll still be friends, we hope, with the people we came to know and love at our old church. We'll make some new friends. We hope!

This year will go by fast, too, and then it'll be time for the next adventure. What will it be? Where will it be?

City of Tranquil Light

2011-05-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

It can be hard to find novels that show Christianity in a positive light these days. I don't count the "Christian fiction" genre, as I've rarely found anything worth reading there. But mainstream fiction usually portrays Christians in a negative way, if it portrays them at all. And Christian missionaries? Don't get me started.

City of Tranquil Light is a beautiful novel that tells the story of a missionary couple in China in a very respectful, loving way. These missionaries are not crazy men and women with hero complexes (think The Poisonwood Bible), but rather ordinary people who want to serve God, and find that China is the place they are sent to do just that.

Will is a young man in 1906 when he meets Edward, who is home from the mission field and looking for workers. He asks Will to consider joining him. Will has not felt the urge to leave home, and doesn't feel particularly gifted for missions work, yet one night, Will gets up, unable to sleep, leaves his bedroom, and sits down at the kitchen table.

As I sat there, I suddenly knew I would go to China. The realization was as simple and definite as the plunk of a small stone in the deep well of my soul, and despite the fact that it would mean leaving what I loved most in the world, I felt not the sadness and dread I had expected but a sense of freedom and release. The tightness in me loosened like a cut cord, and I was joyful.

Will narrates the story of his life in China: his meeting with Katherine, Edward's sister-in-law who also joins him, their courtship and marriage while on the mission field, the trials and hardships of their life together.

Katherine tells the story too, in the form of journal entries. It's a nice device, to present two voices in different ways.

Another of my complaints about current fiction is the bleakness of it. There is so much dysfunction and ugliness in novels. This is the rare book that that has ugliness in it, but it's not overwhelmed by it. There is disease and death, attacks by bandits, war. It's sad in parts, but not bleak. It's beautiful and satisfying.

There are a couple of episodes that seem a little fantastical or contrived, but they were minor brow-wrinklers for me, in this otherwise lovely book.

This work of fiction is based on the lives of the author's grandparents. Bo Caldwell also wrote The Distant Land of My Father, another book which I loved. That book was published in 2002; City of Tranquil Light in 2010. At this rate, I have a long wait for her next book. I hope it won't be too long.

Summer School

2011-05-13T15:46:00.000-07:00

May and June are the golden months in our little homeschool. By early May we have logged our required 180 days of education for the state of Pennsylvania. I can start counting again on July 1.   So these weeks in between are the best time of the year.

After 4 years homeschooling here I've come to the conclusion that the portfolios and evaluations don't really bother me. It's day-counting that I find so onerous. I've written about this too many times to go into detail again, but the counting really does intrude on our days. I just don't like having to write down what we did, and deciding if it's a full or half day, or not a day at all. I don't like thinking about what counts and what doesn't.

Not much changes with regard to our daily activities whether I cam counting days or not. We have as many outside distractions in the summer as we do the rest of the year. In the winter we have snow days; in the spring we have mosquito- and cicada-free days. I don't like to stop everything in the summer. It gets boring, for one thing. And in my experience, too much vacation just makes people lazy.

So we have some summer school plans. We'll take some weeks of vacation, of course. But otherwise, we will keep up some academics.

Monday/Wednesday/Friday will be Math, Latin, Omnibus reading and discussions, workouts at the Y. James will do Boy Scout merit badge work, and Eleanor will practice piano and do lots of crafts. Both will read and will continue to log their books.

Tuesday/Thursday: House and yard work and projects. We have a lot to do around here. This is the year we build a shed. I hope!   And most likely, more reading because the reading is good. We like to read science books together, and I've gotten a few out from the library that look promising.

There will still be time for hiking, going swimming at the Y, riding bikes, and just hanging out.   There will be entire weeks without math, but not 12 weeks all in one big chunk. Maybe a chunk of three, tops.

A little work, a little fun, a little learning, and no time for boredom. That looks like a good summer to me.

Field trip: Washington, DC

2011-05-07T05:19:00.000-07:00

After nearly four years on the east coast, we finally made it to Washington. Proximity to DC was one of the selling points we used with our kids to ease our move here from Oregon and they'd been waiting for this trip for a long time. But, we underestimated the time we'd have for such trips during the seminary years and kept putting it off.

Then, as graduation neared, we panicked: what if we have to move this summer and don't have time to go? So we went during the seminarian's spring break. Which is everyone's spring break. Not the ideal time for a homeschooling family to go to a major tourist attraction. But, we took our chance.

We planned on a one-night stay. Since it's a 3-hour drive from our home, that would give us two full days to explore, if we got up early enough the first morning. I cracked the whip, had everyone packed the night before, planned breakfast on the road, and set several alarms. We set a family record for getting up and out by 7 am. I had found a reasonably-priced room outside of town and near a metro train station. It also included our most important feature: "free" breakfast, or as we say around here, breakfast included in the price. This is a key time- and money-saver for us. Nothing like getting up in the morning, ready to rock and roll, and having to think about where to find breakfast.

Most people we mentioned the trip to suggested their must-see places. Some were dubious that we would have a good time in only two days. A few imagined us frantically running from place to place, barely having time to snap a photo of some important building, monument, or exhibit before moving on.

But they don't know how we work.

Ever since we started taking our kids places, we have cautioned them that they won't see everything. Zoo, amusement park, museum - they have been warned that in one visit they won't see it all. Of course sometimes it has worked out that we can see it all; if we have the time and the place is the right size. But because of the way we visit such places, we usually can't. We just aren't fast. We like to look closely at exhibits. We like to ponder the art. We like to sit down sometimes and just enjoy the surroundings. We like to take photos.

She must not have liked the photo she was taking here; I couldn't find it.

The week before the trip I sat the kids down at the website for the Smithsonian museums and the Google map of the National Mall area, and told them to figure out what they wanted to see most. I limited them to the Mall and told them to be specific about exhibits within the museums so we would be sure to see what was important. James wanted to see all the monuments and memorials, and the Natural History and Air & Space Museums. Eleanor wanted to see the Natural History museum, specifically the crocheted coral reef exhibit, the First Ladies dresses at the American History Museum, and the US Botanical Garden. Further down the list were the White House and Capitol.

They would have been happy to see more, but these were their most important places.

We arrived at our suburban metro station at 10:30, and within about half an hour were stepping out of the Smithsonian station. We'd planned to spend the first day checking out the monuments, and that's just what we did. We saw them all. Because I'd neglected to obtain a map ahead of time, we didn't do it the most efficient way, but we got to see everything.

The World War II Memorial, which is just stunning.

When we were satisfied that we'd seen them all, it was time for museums. We started out together at the American History Museum, and that's where we split up. Eleanor and I went to see the First Ladies' dresses, and James and Dad took off to see some old ship or something. This is another key to enjoying trips like this: split up when necessary! Naturally, it works better for some family configurations than others, and ours is pretty easy. But I was surprised at the number of families traveling in packs with one or more kids complaining about the things they were seeing. I suppose some boys and men would like to view ballgowns, but... I saw many who were just in agony. It was crowded, hot, and, let's face it - for most boys, excruciatingly boring.

Here is one way to make a museum visit not fun:

Dad: "Now we're going to the Air & Space Museum."

7-ish-year-old girl: "I don't want to go there."

Dad: (angrily): "Well, you can just wait outside, then!"

Mom stood there looking embarrassed. The siblings rolled their eyes. Everyone stomped out; no one looked happy. Why couldn't the mom take the little girl somewhere else? Everyone, even most teens, have cell phones, so it's easy to reconnect when it's time. Why force togetherness? Our exception to that was the memorials. Eleanor wasn't too keen on seeing all of them, but the rest of us were. And, I think they are important. More on that another day.

Our next stop was the Natural History museum, and we split up again. Eleanor and I spent a lot of time at a special display of orchids and at the gemstone area.

Detail from a huge sheet of copper.

At that point we ran out of energy, made our way to the train and then to our hotel.

Next day, after our included-in-the-price breakfast, we got back on the train and went straight back to the Natural History museum to finish up. The, it was time for [cue dramatic music] the Air & Space.

Eleanor and I ditched the men right then and went to the Botanical Garden down the street. We strolled through the conservatory and outdoor gardens. She took a lot of photos.

A passion flower.

She and I eventually made our way over to Air & Space and let James show us a few exhibits that were important to him. Then we left again for the National Gallery of Art, across the street. One treat there was seeing a Rembrandt self-portrait, and an artist working on a copy of it. Fun!

Just about the time the Gallery closed the seminarian called to say they were finishing up. We met on the mall and pondered our options. Most of us were done. We'd seen enough museum exhibits. James said "I could keep going to museums and never get bored. But my feet and legs hurt." We agreed it was time to hit the road.

We didn't take a Capitol tour. We walked by the White House and wondered what the horde of people lingering at the fence thought they'd see there. We didn't make it to the Library of Congress (bummer for the parents) but, maybe next time.

Oh look, we did see the Capitol!

We saw a lot, and no one went home disappointed because he missed something important, or mad because she'd had to endure something that was (in her opinion) dull.

But no, we didn't see it all. We never do. We never try. And we're happier that way.

Life in the schoolhouse

2011-05-05T04:39:00.000-07:00

There is a lot going on at the two kid schoolhouse, though you would have no way to know that.

The seminarian graduates later this month. After several weeks of wondering "uh, what are we going to do now?" we were given the gift of another year without moving: he will be taking an internship at a local church. Feels good not to be packing and saying goodbye. Also felt good to renew our membership to our favorite garden. I think I promised our two guest passes to about 14 people. Uh oh. Maybe we will have to move after all.

We went to Washington, DC, finally. I will write a real blog with actual photos about that experience soon. Let me just say that a brief trip to an interesting place with lots to do does not have to be frantic or disappointing.

We had our homeschool evaluations and completed our 180 days of education for the state. Nothing will really change in our lives, but it will be nice not to have to keep records for a while.

Our calendar is slowly emptying. That is always a great feeling.

Reading the Richmond Lattimore translation of The Odyssey aloud is pure pleasure. I hardly ever feel like I'm going to fall asleep reading it.

Leafcutter ants are very cool. They made a great science project. That is a hint. More pictures!

I think now that I can breathe, I might have something to say here again.

Carnival of homeschooling

2011-04-05T04:22:00.000-07:00

The Carnival of Homeschooling is up at Under the Golden Apple Tree, a new blog for me. I haven't had a chance to check out the posts yet; I'll be going over in a little while. I love the simplicity of the carnival this time. I know the carnival hosts put a lot of effort into creating themes and adding photos and other extras to the carnival. I appreciate that, but I had been wondering lately about that trend. I wouldn't have the time or ability to put such a carnival together! So I'm happy to see a simple, straightforward carnival full of good reading.

Some people

2011-04-05T04:14:00.000-07:00

A young woman posts a picture of herself and her husband on her blog. They have just come back from vacation and she's sharing a few photos. She and her husband happen to be wearing shirts with name brands on them. Hers is from a company that has been criticized for racy advertising.

Oh, did I mention that she runs a Christian Bible study website and has written extensively on modesty?

A few hours later I see via facebook that she has removed the photo and is apologizing for offending people. Someone, somewhere, was upset by seeing the brand name on her shirt.

The photo wasn't inappropriate in any way. She wasn't wearing skimpy beach clothing. She and her husband weren't engaging in private behavior. It was a beautiful photo of a happy couple on the beach.

Don't you just love people who have to complain about petty things?

I don't wear brand-emblazoned clothing, and I don't buy it for my kids. The idea of spending money to advertise a company seems ludicrous to me. I also don't shop in certain stores, including that one. (I hardly shop at all, anyway.) But there's no reason for me to be offended by someone else wearing it. I guess I might tsk-tsk at a kid wearing a shirt advertising beer or something like that. But, why even that? What do I know about it?

Do I know that the shirt isn't a hand-me-down or a gift? Do I know if the person has limited money for clothing and this is what was available at the thrift store? Do I know that the wearer didn't borrow the shirt because she was cold? Do I know that the person didn't buy the shirt years before the questionable advertising started? Could it be that she just liked the shirt when she saw it in a store?

Do I know anything about the person's motivation for wearing a particular article of clothing?

If a person writing about modesty continually posted pictures of herself in inappropriate clothing*, I might question the value of her teaching. I might decide she was a hypocrite who, for some reason, writes about a way of life she doesn't even agree with. (Must be for the big money Christian bloggers make.) But one photo in a shirt consisting of block letters shouting out a name brand that is available in every mall in America?

People, take care of your own families. Watch what your children are wearing. Teach them to be discerning about the message they send with their clothing and the money they spend. Don't follow leaders who espouse a lifestyle that is wrong.

But don't go picking on someone for a single photo in a shirt from a store you don't like.

*This would include revealing clothing but also clothing designed to call undue attention to the wearer. A woman can be perfectly covered with her clothing but if it is too tight or has inappropriate wording on it (such as "modest is hottest"), she is not dressing modestly.

What do you think? I know this is an area where there are strong opinions. Am I too easy-going?

Ready to homeschool again

2011-04-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

As I've said before, I haven't been enjoying homeschooling lately. We've had a difficult time with motivation - mine and my students'. I found myself getting frustrated too often. Frustration shouldn't be associated with homeschooling in the kids' minds!. I want them to have good memories of these days. I don't want them, as adults, to think back and remember a tired, nasty Mom. I'd been ~~forcing~~ ~~pushing~~ encouraging my kids toward more independence, and greater responsibility for their own educations. We've had mixed results; change isn't always easy.

But I think we're coming out of it. Things are looking better. I'm looking forward to homeschooling again! If you are suffering from homeschool burnout, or frustration, or whatever you want to call it, you might try the following steps:

1. Sign up for a free Netflix trial. (If you already have Netflix, skip to number 3.)

2. Fill up your instant queue with documentaries, old tv shows, and Dr. Who episodes.

3. Get your entire family, except yourself, sick for a week or so. Not too sick! We don't want doctor visits interrupting us. We don't want people to be miserable. Just sick enough that hard work is out of the question. It's helpful if they have no appetite and food doesn't taste good - meal planning is much easier when buttered pasta and Gatorade is about all anyone wants to eat.

4. Let your kids read and watch documentaries and old tv shows much of the day. Watch some of the documentaries with them, preferably while knitting. Then talk about it all at mealtimes.

5. Spend that empty time reading novels, blogging, immersing yourself in a new Bible study, going out for coffee with friends in the morning and cocktails with friends in the evening, and doing a little homeschool planning.

6. When your kids are not watching tv and you're not reading novels, read something exciting yet schoolish to them, such as The Odyssey. (Which is pure pleasure to read aloud; not difficult or tiring at all. It's almost as if it was written to be spoken, not read silently.) Discuss.

Tomorrow is the start of a new week. My family is getting over their sickness. I'm getting over my feeling of not wanting to homeschool.

None of the problems that caused me to stop loving homeschooling have actually been solved. I still have work to do, on myself and my kids. But this break, though unplanned and not exactly fun, might have been just what I needed to get my perspective back. I don't know if my kids are bored enough yet to get their perspective back. I'll find out tomorrow.

Update: It's tomorrow. Kids woke up reasonably early, tired but healthy. (They did need a little help to wake up. The dog is always happy to oblige.) We discussed their assignments, then I left for a meeting I'd forgotten about. When I got home, the work was mostly done. One person expressed a need for help with something. Piano practice had been accomplished. Some creative writing had too. Everyone seems happy, for the moment, to be back into a normal(ish) routine.

Sad and happy at the same time

2011-04-02T15:06:00.000-07:00

Today I've spent a good amount of time going through books. We have more books than we can fit in our house; much of our collection is stored in boxes in our dungeon (crawlspace). They are all inventoried so if we need something we can find it, but it's still not convenient to have 50% (or more) of the family books packed away.

Many of those books are really not needed anymore, but we all have a hard time getting rid of old books. A couple of years ago I went through a period when I refused to get rid of any good books at all. I was afraid that everything decent is doomed to go out of print. I have calmed down a bit since then, but I still plan to hang on to the best of the bunch. But, we still have books that, while good, are not classics that must be preserved. I am getting better at letting go. The kids, not so much. (I leave the seminarian out of this. He never gets rid of anything.)

From time to time I will get out boxes of books from early in our homeschooling days and ask if there are any we can give away. The answer is almost always no.

Today was different. The kids were ready to get rid of some books! Most of our medieval history was wiped out - at least those books for the 10 and under set. Books on knights and castles - all going. It's sad in a way. Those were well-loved books. But they aren't going to be re-read by my kids. And they aren't such classics that we need to hang on to them for the next generation. They were good books, but not great books.

It's kind of funny to see a boy saying "I don't even remember that book" about one he said he adored and could not bear to part with just a year ago. But, that's what growing up will do for a guy.

We are keeping plenty of books. There will be good storybooks for the grandchildren. But we don't need to keep it all.

It's a little sad, but it's nice to move some things out of the house. I feel a little less burdened with every bag that goes to the library, or to a friend. If we move, we'll have that many fewer boxes to load onto a truck.

And, it's nice to see my kids growing up. They have plenty of books ahead of them.

Two books

2011-04-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago I started reading two books. I'd heard so many good things about both, and started them at the same time.

One was fiction that read like a memoir. It was beautiful and sad. The other was a true memoir that seemed more like the story of every dysfunctional family you've ever heard of, rolled into one.

I gave up on The Glass Castle after a while. It was riveting, but in the way an accident scene is riveting. You feel like you shouldn't look, but you can't help it. It consisted of episode after episode of abusive parent stories. I don't mean to trivialize the author's experience. I don't wonder, as others have, if it was really true. She had a horrid life. But I couldn't keep reading it. People have told me that the book is really worthwhile as the author shows how she and her siblings overcame their early lives. But I just couldn't get that far.

I'm glad I started reading The Distant Land of My Father at the same time. This is a beautiful family story, though there is much dysfunction in it. It also has rich historical detail that I find so appealing in a novel.

Anna is born in Shanghai in the early 1930s. Her parents are American; her father, the child of missionaries, was also born there. Her mother, Eve, moved from California when she married Joe. Joe is a businessman who loves his family, but he loves business and Shangai more. Eventually Eve takes Anna to California to escape the war. Joe is supposed to follow them after finishing up some business, but... he doesn't come for a long time. And when he comes, he doesn't stay. He can't give up Shanghai.

The story moves effortlessly between Anna's life after leaving Shanghai and her father's story as he stays behind. He is imprisoned twice - by the Japanese, and later by the Communists.

This is ultimately a very satisfying story of love and forgiveness. Maybe all good stories are about love and forgiveness.

Here is a passage I found particularly sweet. Anna describes her feelings after her mother dies. It perfectly describes the way I felt after my own mother's death:

With her death, a part of my life just disappeared. Many times a day, I picked up the phone and put it down again, remembering too late. Over and over, I thought to tell her something, or ask her something, or see if she'd like to do something, and over and over, I reminded myself that she was gone - a fact that never made any sense - and the dull ache inside me would start up again.

I am looking forward to Bo Caldwell's next novel, City of Tranquil Light.

The evolution of Saturdays

2011-04-02T06:57:00.000-07:00

Some time ago, in another life, Saturday was the day to sleep in. Sunday was too, I think. In those days before marriage and kids, when going to church didn't seem very important, when Friday night was for staying out late, weekends were for doing... not much of anything.

That time seems awfully far away now. Sometimes I can't even believe those days existed.

Today I think I achieved my as-close-to-perfect-as-it's-going-to-get Saturday morning:

Up early, about 6:30. Some of you are snorting in derision; 6:30 is early enough for me, right now.

The internet. I admit I start my day by checking email, facebook, the weather... I might catch up on a little correspondence.

A cup of tea. I like coffee in the morning, but when I'm up alone tea is easier and quieter. Our house is small, so I need to be quiet on my Saturday mornings.

My Bible and notebook. I've been playing catch-up with the James Bible study that is almost over at Good Morning Girls. I don't know if they will be starting a new study later this month, but I want to be ready if they do. Also, I'm enjoying it so much - it's just exactly what I need right now - that I don't want to slow down. I rely on Monergism for commentary and sermons if I want more help with a passage of Scripture.

Other books, if there is time. I'm starting to read Desiring God, thanks to this discovery yesterday. Or maybe a good novel.

Music, usually via Pandora radio. I have a chamber music station that I can play softly while I read.

Unless there is some activity for which I need to get my family up, I usually have 1 to 1/2 hours on my own. If I use this time well, I am very satisfied and content and happy to see my family when they get up.

If I don't use it well - if instead of reading, I randomly mess around on the internet, reading too many blogs and blog comments, checking out youtube videos or reading news stories that are irrelevant to me, or if I just stay in bed too long and get a late start - I am annoyed by my family's rising. I hear their footsteps above me and grumble inside my head.

Which way do you think is the better start to the day?

This morning I was happy to hear the seminarian getting up. We enjoyed a nice breakfast together and let the kids sleep.

A few months ago I started trying out a regular Saturday post, my Saturday morning journal. I took a blogging break and gave it up. Maybe I'll start again.

How is your Saturday going?

Five Minute Friday: Favorite Things

2011-04-01T05:04:00.000-07:00

This week's Five Minute Friday writing prompt is all about favorite things.

Go:

Of course, my husband and children are at the top. Do they count as things? For this they do. When I think of what my life would have been like if they hadn't come along... oh. Oh no.

Reading to my kids has always been one of my favorite ways to spend time. We have read so many books together, and now as they enter their teens we are still doing it. Sharing The Odyssey with them right now. Wow. What a privilege to get to share great literature with my kids. I'd love a little more time to read on my own, but, maybe that'll come later.

Cooking for my family and others is also a favorite thing. I love to please people with delicious food. Most people enjoy food and are easy to please. Homemade bread is probably at the top of that list.

My firm faith in our sovereign God is one of my favorite things. I don't know that I could go on, sometimes, without that.

Fabric, yarn, embroidery thread and cloth... favorite things I don't get to play with much these days. But my stash will be here when I'm ready.

Books and music. The tulips that should be blooming soon. Old friends who stay in touch with me when I seem to want to fall out of touch with them.

Stop. That was five minutes.

Share yours or read others at The Gypsy Mama

Oh no. My kids will be so mad if they ever read this... I didn't list the dog! .

Predictable

2011-03-30T04:27:00.000-07:00

Two things I should have been able to predict, but failed to:

1. Whenever we embark on a new routine, project, or other changeup in our homeschooling, the kids get sick. Seriously. How's that forced independence going, you might ask? Ha! Amidst the coughing and nose blowing and sinus washing, we're reading and discussing The Odyssey. We all love it. The math and other independent work? Um, this sickness can't possibly last till next week. Right?

This happens all the time. Seriously, I believe that this is God's way of asking me "do you really think you are in control?" I've always said that I wish I could give my kids a full education just by reading to them. So at least we're doing what we love.

2. Whenever I decide to clean out my blog reader and get serious about my computer time, I find new blogs to fill it right back up again. Here are my new favorites:

Good Morning Girls is a Christian site for women (not young girls). I started following their study in the book of James yesterday. They're almost finished, but thanks to the magic of the internet I can catch up. It's perfect for me right now, in the state of mind and the stage of life I'm in.

The Gypsy Mama hosts the Friday Minute Friday meme I discovered last week. She's led a fascinating life and has a lot of good things to say. Lots of baby pics, too!

MexiMoxie is by a young woman preparing for the missions field. She'll be going to Mexico, and she talks about that and shares recipes for delicious food too.

The blog list on the sidebar that shrank recently? Growing again.

Homeschooling when you don't feel like it anymore

2011-03-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the late winter/early spring burnout so common to homeschoolers. Maybe it's something more. But I don't feel like homeschooling right now. It's probably a temporary feeling, but, today and for the past few weeks, it hasn't felt that way. Even though I continue to receive frequent reminders of the blessings of homeschooling, I'm just not that into it right now.

But we are still homeschooling. It's almost April; even if my kids could be going to school in the future, I'm not going to send them now. What would be the point, so close to the end of the year? We've been counting educational days since July 1; we've only got another 30 or so to go. It would be useless to make such a huge change now.

So how do we keep going when Mom wants to stop? I started forcing independence. I probably shouldn't use the word force because, of course, I can't force anyone to do anything. But I can keep leading my kids toward independence. That is the overall goal, after all, but right now it is just urgent for me to do so. If I don't, we will all crash. So each Monday I give my kids an assignment sheet with all the activities and bookwork I expect to get done that week. Some are things we do together, but most of it they do on their own, or with minimal involvement on my part. I've actually been doing the weekly assignment sheet for a while, but I owned it. Now they do. It's their work, not mine. This hasn't been foolproof; more than once we've experienced frustration when a child has lost his or her assignment sheet in a pile of books or papers, or simply says "Oh, I didn't see that" or "I forgot." We've also discovered that I sometimes forget commitments ("Oh, there's a Girl Scout meeting tomorrow?) or just overplan. It's not always the kids' fault if not everything gets done.

We are still flexible, but the kids are in charge more now.

I'm also just stepping back and letting them go a little more. I believe I've always encouraged this but now I am being a little more demanding about it. We read The Leafcutter Ants: Civilization by Instinct, a gorgeous and fascinating book, together last month; while some of the text was over all our heads, it inspired further research and a science-fair type project that includes a display board, artwork, and papier mache. I provide the materials and time (it's on their weekly assignment sheets); they do the work. This is just what I need for our portolios and my own sanity. Oh, the kids are learning, too. My contribution was reading the book aloud (not a burden) and buying the supplies.

Now I am available when they need help with math, or grammar, or some other basic work, but I am not teaching them the math anymore. I have more time for my distractions and other work, and even to go out for coffee with a friend once in a while. One of the joys of older kids is leaving them home alone sometimes! I am not weary when it's time for the parts of homeschooling I still love, like going on field trips and reading and discussing great literature with my kids.

No doubt some of you reading are shaking your heads and saying something like "she thinks she's made some great discovery here?" If I have learned one thing in my years of homeschooling, it is this: everyone has to make their discoveries in their own time.

That goes for both kids and mom.

After the cooking contest

2011-03-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I spent a lot of time thinking about James and his Scout cooking contest. I was anxious to hear from him after dinner but figured I wouldn't.

About 8 pm the phone range. Could it be him? No, but it was one of the Scout leaders informing us that James was sick. Could they give him some cold medicine? James came on the line and said he was feeling pretty badly and would like to come home. It's a 90-minute drive to camp... could he tough it out there for the night? Yeah, he could.

The only thing we heard in that conversation about the contest was: the food wasn't ready for the judges at the appointed moment. Bummer.

He arrived home around noon: filthy, exhausted, maybe getting sick (other family members have been sick this week), but happy. His patrol got 3rd place. Out of just 4, so... not great. But he was satisfied. The stew was good, he said, once it was cooked. The mango soda was an instant hit. So was his couscous dessert, despite it being a little strange to most people. The chapatis were not so great. He'd perfected them at home but cooking on a fire is different than on an electric stove. He thinks they just couldn't get the griddle hot enough.

This past week was hardly stellar for our academic achievements. But boy did he learn a lot about meal planning, shopping, and cooking. Hm, supervising 5 boys can be hard work too, so probably some management skills got in there too. And yesterday the boys were working hard from sunup till well after sundown.

I will be counting it as a school day. I think I could count it as two!

(Blog) Housekeeping

2011-03-26T18:39:00.000-07:00

Blogkeeping?

In between snuggling with my sick daughter and obsessing over my son's camping trip activities, I had some time for a little bloghousekeeping today. I updated my blog list (left sidebar) to better reflect what I'm reading now. I cleaned out my blog reader too. I had too many blogs to keep up with; it was time to trim the list.

I always feel a little guilty cutting blogs out of my reader or clicking the "stop following" button. I know some bloggers take it personally when they lose followers. But it's not personal; it's just a matter of time management.

You can tell I feel guilty about it because I'm explaining it. Kind of silly, isn't it?

Eight minutes from right now

2011-03-26T14:13:00.000-07:00

My Boy Scout James is away this weekend at his troop's annual cooking contest campout. Each group of boys - a patrol - plans and makes a delicious meal in competition with each other. This is his second year attending, but his first as leader of a patrol and thus in charge of the meal. At 5 pm - just 8 minutes away - the judges (adult leaders of the troop) will be at his patrol's table to see how their meal turned out.

James is not a cook, though he has been practicing. And this is not a stereotypical Scout camp meal, of meat and veggies wrapped in foil and buried in the coals. The boys are required to cook at least part of their meal in the Dutch oven. They have to brown their meat, not just toss it into the pot. The meal must be balanced meal with protein, carbs, vegetable, etc. A dessert is required. A beverage too - and water from the canteen doesn't count.

They earn points for difficulty, healthfulness, and presentation, among other things. It's a big deal, lots of work and lots of fun. For example, James took a stick of butter for his bread, but also a container of cream so they could make their own. This was a last-minute addition. He had asked one of this friends, a senior Scout, if taking butter would cost points. No, he was told - but if you make your own, you'll gain points! Same question about taking homemade chicken broth. (James made it from a chicken he cooked a few weeks ago at a cooking workshop at his Scoutmaster's house.) It's fine, but it would be better if he hauled a chicken carcass up to camp and made the broth there. Yikes. That takes a lot of time and a lot of firewood. He won't worry about those extra points.

I am almost certain he forgot one semi-essential ingredient: sugar for his dessert. But the recipe also includes honey, and I'm pretty sure - no actually I'm just hopeful - that he will realize he can just add more of that to make up for the missing sugar. Maybe one of the other boys in his patrol will mention that, if he forgets.

He is a forgetful boy, and likely to be a bit stressed.

He forgot the gloves for chopping up the jalapenos. Those are not essential, but might gain him points for safe cooking..

His menu is chicken peanut stew, chapatis, couscous with honey, cinnamon, and nuts, and mango soda. I know all this because I helped him practice it, but also because he typed up a nice menu for the judges to see on his table. Too bad he left it behind.

The mango soda is just mango nectar mixed with seltzer. It's delicious.

Though he is the leader, the other boys were invited to contribute ideas to the dinner. However, they did not care to. I know that because they sat around my kitchen table one night talking about it, and other than approving the stew didn't express much interest. I suspect they won't like the dessert - it does seem a little odd - but he wanted something more in keeping with his North African-ish theme than the typical apple cobbler.

All day I've wanted to text him to ask how it's going. But Mommy needs to stay out of it, and he's not supposed to have his phone in his pocket during camp anyway. I did ask him, if he could do it without breaking camp rules and embarrassing himself, to let me know how it went after it's all done. I can wait till tomorrow afternoon when he gets home... but I don't want to.

Well, it's 5:10 and the judges should have moved on to the next patrol. I'm a little sad I can't be there to see all this, but... it's right that's I'm not there.

This post was inspired by my friend Maria who knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Another way my kids are growing up differently than I did.

2011-03-26T07:57:00.000-07:00

I'm getting ready to run out to the library to pick up a copy of "The Sound of Music" to watch with Eleanor today. I am not that interested in it but she is sickly and her brother is away at camp and this is what she would like to do. We just got Netflix but it's not available to watch instantly; nothing in the vast queue we've accumulated seems interesting enough to her right now. I know how that is, when a kid is sick.

But here is where my title comes in: she won't want to watch it alone. It struck me today that my kids rarely watch tv or a movie alone. James will occasionally watch some military thing by himself. I think he'd like the company but no one wants to join him. I don't think Eleanor ever has, though.

They'd mostly rather not watch TV if they are going to be there alone.

I think about all hours I spent in front of the TV as a kid, alone and with my siblings and parents. Or friends. But a lot alone. When I was in junior high I even had my own tv in my room for a little while. It only got the local channel, but it was good for my soaps after school. "Dark Shadows!" "One Life to Live." Ah, stop me before I go googling Vikki and Nikki and Barnabas.

Anyway, this was just interesting to me this morning. I'm glad my kids don't spend mindless hours in front of the television. I don't spend that much time myself, and I can usually make it productive with knitting or mending or even folding laundry. Maybe I would have liked it if my Mom had watched "Dark Shadows" with me sometimes. I wonder what she was doing while I was watching all that TV?

More about worry

2011-03-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

Some of my friends are worried about me since I posted about waking up worrying.

Worrying is an unhealthy, useless waste of time. And, for those of us who (try to) follow Jesus and the teachings in the Bible, it is a sin.

But it is also not something that anyone (or I, at least) set out to do. The worries come unbidden. Who wakes up and decides to think, say, "what if we have to move and our house doesn't sell?" Or "Gah! We don't have a decent science project for our homeschool portfolio yet!"

Not I! I'd rather wake up with a feeling of happy anticipation for the day, thankful for a good night's sleep.

So we have to fight the worry with prayer. We can know that God is sovereign and still have those worries creep in. We can understand that if God wants us to move He will work out such mundane details as selling a house. He might not make it real easy, or as quick as we'd like. But it'll happen. We can know that both intellectually and in our hearts. We aren't worrying on purpose.

I think in general Christians are harder on people about worry than nonChristians. (Broad generalization; don't assume I'm talking about you!) So many times I've expressed a concern to someone - someone who asks how things are going or if there is any way they can pray for me, not just some random person I've decided to spill my guts to - and they send me off with a breezy little platitude: "Just trust and obey!" "Oh, follow God's leading and you'll be fine!" "As long as you're in God's will, He will take care of you!" Well, OK then! Thanks for asking.

One of the best Bible verses for worriers is John 14:1. Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me." One of my Facebook friends had that up in her status yesterday and though it is a very familiar verse, it was good to see it. It is the perfect verse for worriers - those who worry on purpose and those who have their worries thrust upon them, unwelcome, in the early hours of the morning.

Update: After typing "worry" so many time, I've come to realize I should have titled this post "What, me worry?" And I have this urge to read a Mad Magazine...

Five Minute Friday: Waking up

2011-03-25T12:32:00.000-07:00

My friend Maria turned me on to Five Minute Friday at The Gypsy Mama. It's a little writing prompt exercise - fun! I am in great need of blogging inspiration and this is just the ticket. Join us over there for some sweet baby pics and some fun reading on...

Waking up.

Lately my wakeups have been abrupt. A cry of "Mommy" from a sick girl. My son ringing his bell - that'll scare you, hearing a bell clanging in the middle of the night, till you realize what it is and go to comfort the child with a headache. I tried to be nice when I asked that in the future he call rather than ring.   Sometimes it's the dog, nervous at some sound outside and wanting to get out to investigate He did that the other morning, and was so insistent that I ended up taking him in the backyard on the leash, thinking he had some business to do out there. Oh no. He just wanted to snuffle around for night creatures. It was 5 am; the alarm goes off at 6:30, so I stayed up.

Sometimes the thoughts in my head wake me up.   Starting the day worrying isn't something I choose to do, but sometimes it happens. Those are the mornings I alternate between worrying and praying for help to stop worrying.   With the seminarian graduating in May, there are plenty of unanswered questions about our near future, and thus plenty to worry about - whether I want to worry or not.   Please do not leave me a comment telling me it's a sin to worry, OK? Other comments are welcome, of course.

I look forward to the day that I wake up feeling rested and relaxed, with happy anticipation for the day.   I am not sure when that will happen, though.

That was a fun five minutes! Try it yourself.

Carnival of Homeschooling

2011-03-22T19:24:00.000-07:00

It's the Green Edition of the Carnival of Homeschooling, and the photos are beautiful. Good reading to, as always. Check it out at The Homeschool Post.

Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands

2011-03-21T04:26:00.000-07:00

Are you a counselor? I don't mean a certified professional who gets paid to solve people's problems. I mean, are you a regular person living in the world, who has people in your life who need help with problems? Yes, of course you are. We all are. So you should read Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands.

I love the subtitle: "People in Need of Change Helping People in Need of Change."

I've had this book for a long time and had started it more than once. For some reason it took me a few tries to get into it and finish it. I can only assume my timing was bad because this is a wonderful book.   The author, Paul David Tripp, is associated with the Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation and has written other titles for the "Resources for Changing Lives" book series.

Dr. Tripp teaches the process - what we need to do - for counseling: Love, Know, Speak, Do.

If we are going to help people, we need to love them. Yes, we need to love all these pesky, annoying people in our lives. That includes the the young mother who doesn't seem to be able to discipline her children, the friend who is always complaining, the woman who worries that she's never doing enough. Sometimes they are hard to love, but they are made in God's image, so... we make the decision to love them.

We have to know them and know their problems - their real problems, not necessarily the troubles that they present to us - if we are going to help them. We don't assume we know without asking a lot of questions and getting true understanding of what's really going on.

Then we have to speak up. Kindly, in love. We don't avoid confrontation. Sometimes this kind of speaking is hard.   But,

... I am afraid we have replaced love in our relationships with being "nice." Being nice and acting out of love are not the same thing. Our culture puts a high premium on being tolerant and polite. We seek to avoid uncomfortable moments, so we see, but do not speak. We go so far as to convince ourselves that we are not speaking because we love the other person, when in reality we fail to speak because we lack love.

Then, as if the speaking wasn't hard enough, there's more: we need to do what we can to help. This is the hardest part to accomplish and the hardest to summarize.

The final aspect of our model, do, teaches us how to apply truths we have learned, personal insights we have gained, and commitments we have made, to our daily lives. Here we teach people to be dissatisfied with the gap between their confessional and functional theology. We lead them to live out their identity as children of God, claiming the rights and privileges of the gospel. Do trains people in the decisions, actions, relationships, and skills of Christ-centered, biblically informed living.

This is not just theory. There are many practical examples that helped me see exactly how to go about this process. It's designed to equip, not just educate.

And it's not just for people planning to become professional counselors, though it is on the curriculum. It's for people like me who seem to be placed in counseling sessions all the time. People like you, too.

Click the link for more information or to read the first chapter of the book. If you read it, I'd love to know what you think of it.

The recurring aviary experience

2011-03-15T18:16:00.000-07:00

We've been having a tough homeschooling season. So tough we've even talked about school. As in, going there next year.

This is hard to admit. It's hard to let people know when there are difficulties, particularly when I know that some people would be silently saying "Yes!" at the prospect of us throwing in the homeschooling towel. But, bad times happen. Sometimes they last a day. Sometimes they last a little longer.

So yesterday we decided to have a field trip to the zoo. We hadn't been to the famous Philadelphia Zoo in the 3 1/2 years we've lived here. Admission prices are high! But thanks to one of those cool internet coupons sites, we scored some cheap tickets. Yesterday might not have been the best day to go - it was still cold, and rain threatened. And, we hadn't finished some things that needed finishing. But, we needed the change in routine.

One of the best places in any zoo is the aviary. We all love birds so that is one of the most important stops on any zoo visit. Our zoo in Oregon had a wonderful aviary and we reminisced about it yesterday, on the way to our first Philadelphia experience.

One of our memories is very strong. I don't think I'll ever forget it. We had walked into the aviary and noticed how quiet it was. Not a lot of bird action going on. But we waited, and after a short time the birds became more active. We sat on a bench and watched as the aviary came alive. The birds had noticed our arrival but when we were quiet, they relaxed and went about their bird business.

Then, the door opened an a school group walked in. Teachers, chaperones, kids. Lots of kids! All talking and stomping and making jokes and looking around, asking "where are the birds?"

It doesn't birds long to disappear, you know.

So the adults marched the kids through and maybe they saw a bird or two. But they didn't stop. No one looked at the informational placards. No one had a chance to listen. Soon they were gone.

We sat still and waited. Soon, the birds came back out. It was one of those moments that validated our homeschooling for me: schoolkids don't get to slow down and see the birds.

Of course to be fair, I must admit that I don't know if it was the teacher's intent to move through so quickly. Maybe the class had spent so much time exploring other areas in detail that they didn't really have time for the birds. Maybe they just popped in to give the kids a glimpse because the teacher loved the aviary and couldn't bear to have them miss it, even if they couldn't stop.

But the point was clear. I wanted my kids to have time for the birds. I didn't want them rushing through on a school field trip.

So that was on my mind as we walked to the aviary at our new zoo. I was enjoying a school day at the zoo while pondering taking a step that would put an end to days like this.

We walked in. This one was set up differently from others, with separate rooms. We spent time in each one. The last was the best! Full of birds we'd never seen before. We walked around quietly, marveling at the different colors, beaks, feathers. And then, it happened again.

In trooped a school group, a teacher in the lead, kids and chaperones behind, moving quickly through the room. The birds disappeared, went silent and still. We waited as the group passed.

When they were gone, a keeper came in to feed them. She talked quietly to us about the food, and about some of the birds' habits. Between the new silence in the room, and the promise of food, the birds came alive again. She pointed out yellow-knobbed currasow who "doesn't seem to know how heavy she is. She jumps onto branches that are too small and breaks them." We watched a bit, and as the bird made her way toward the food, we could see how clumsily she moved. The keeper then called the Victoria crowned pigeons over for their food, and they walked right past us on the way, just as close as that. It was a wonderful experience.

And just like before, I knew that in good homeschooling times and bad, I always want my kids to have time for the birds.

No reading, no writing

2011-03-06T05:38:00.000-08:00

I miss blogging. I miss reading and commenting on blogs.   The best I have been able to do the past few weeks has been to scan a few blogs in my reader but I have rarely stopped into the real thing to say hello.

Sometimes life is just busy, and sometimes there are mental or emotional distractions that make it impossible to write a book review or think about home organization projects.   Sometimes there's just nothing to say, or so much it's too hard to figure out.

Maybe soon I'll write about our last robotics competition, or about the seminarian's upcoming graduation, or about the fantastic art projects my kids have been doing. I've been reading, a little, and have some books I'd like to comment on.   I've been cleaning and getting rid of stuff so maybe I'll jump back into the 52-week challenge.

I guess this is a placeholder post till I have some real content.

And a hello to the people who (I hope) still have me in their reader. I'll be back to your place soon too!

52 weeks of organizing

2011-02-11T09:16:00.000-08:00

Last week I jumped into the 52 Weeks of Organizing challenge over at I'm an Organizing Junkie. I had planned to go through my messy fabric stash and consolidate three bins of fabric and supplies into two.

I was mostly successful. I sewed two items this week: a purse and a skirt, both for my daughter. I started a flannel nightshirt for her too. And we are going through a huge pile of our favorite summer fabric, Tutti-Frutti, to decide what will become summer garments and what will be part of a patchwork picnic blanket.

Yes, we do have a lot of this fabric.

These are just scraps from garments already made. Every piece of this fabric holds a memory.

I also discarded a bunch of patterns and some ratty old quilt batting that had gotten dirty somehow. We tried to rid ourselves of some fabric but we are pretty careful to buy only what we really like, so we couldn't part with any of it.

So, I still have work to do but it's mostly pleasant work now: sewing! Turning this fabric into something useful and lovely. Tough job but someone's got to do it.

This week's theme is negative conversation. I have negative conversations with myself all the time. It's easy to do when there is fabric all over the floor in one room, camping equipment that needs to be put away in another room, and about 32 wet towels on the floor from the dog-washing adventure. When I start the negative talk I stop and pray. That usually fixes it for me. What about you?

L:ink up or read more at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

2011-02-11T04:53:00.000-08:00

It's been a little hectic around here. Lots of people in my life are in need of help and attention right now. My own family here at home. A friend from church who needs babysitting help. Emails and phone calls with various people on various topics. Some of it is fun and some of it is obligation. Talking to a friend about her upcoming trip to Hawaii is in the fun column, not the obligation column. But there are others, not so fun.

Almost two years ago I sat here and complained about the lack of available women to help their church family by providing meals to others in need. That problem hasn't gone away. There is a lot of work to do and people don't have much time to do it. So those of us who are available try to do as much as we can.

Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes when a need comes up and I think about trying to squeeze it into my day, I say inside my head, in a very small voice, "but I have a job too." Most people don't see homeschooling as a job. It's a lifestyle choice (and an odd one at that) and shouldn't affect my ability to be out of the house for hours at a time.

And sometimes it doesn't. My kids are old enough to stay at home alone; they can do some of their work on their own. I can leave them to their math books and Latin translations and other assignments. Mostly those things can get done when I'm not home. But that's now how we like to spend most of our homeschooling day. We want to be together, reading and talking; sometimes they need my help. Sometimes they need my nagging.

One of the dangers of being among the few that can help is the tendency to look at others who aren't helping with bitterness and resentment. We can decide that the stay-home mom with a preschooler and toddler ought to be able to help out some too. What does she do all day? We can look at another homeschooler and wonder why her kids can't be more independent. It doesn't matter that we don't know much about her, such as what kind of homeschooling program or philosophy she has, or the ability of her children to stay home alone, or how much help they need with their work. We look at these people and think: I can do this; why can't she? My life is busy too. Busier, even. What's wrong with her?

Because there must be something wrong with her if she's not doing what I do.

It's easy to look at other people and decide that they are lacking. Harder to look at ourselves and see the pride that makes us judge others by our standards.

Whose standards are we supposed to live by, anyway?

Can I get organized in 52 weeks?

2011-02-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

Laura at I'm an Organizing Junkie has started a new blog series: 52 Weeks of Organizing. She's encouraging her readers to make a list of project to complete this year, and share their stories. As usual I am late to the party and am starting on week 5, wherein she asks:

Why do you want to get organized?

Last year I had started documenting my efforts to clean up the house, and keep it clean, but I got a little bored with that process - the documentation, not the trying to clean and organize. But maybe I'll start again because the documenting does help with motivation.

There are so many reasons to get organized. I can't think of which one is most important. Is it the time lost looking for things? Is it the money spent unnecessarily re-buying something that I misplaced? Is it because we might move this summer after the seminarian graduates? Or is it because I would like my kids not to live in chaos now and pass on the chaos-living to their own families?

Well, all of them.

This week I am going to concentrate on my sewing supplies. I have three large bins full of fabric, patterns, notion and such. Earlier this week I had to dump one out so I could use the bin for a more urgent purpose: storing birdseed. We had this big bag of birdseed in the laundry room and discovered a hole and other evidence of a critter. Better storage was needed, quickly.

Rather than go out and buy a new bin I want to organize the fabric, get rid of stuff we're never going to use, and maybe do some sewing to reduce the stash. Should be a nice project.

You can join in the 52 Weeks of Organizing at I'm an Organizing Junkie. Hurry, there's only 48 weeks left!

A book to read when you think your life is hard.

2011-02-04T12:13:00.000-08:00

Last Friday my dryer died. Right in the middle of a load. The seminarian is pretty handy but he couldn't fix it. He found the instruction manual and did all the trouble-shooting stuff but nothing worked. He said that it seemed the dryer, which came with the house we moved into 4 years ago, must be about 20 years old. So it was dead.

I was without a dryer for 4 days. Can you imagine? Dirty laundry piling up. The prospect of going to the laundromat. Ugh! What a terrible thing to happen.

During those four days that I wasn't doing laundry, I had a little extra time for reading. I started a new novel, and I read about a man preparing to venture into the streets of Sarajevo during the siege to find water for his family:

He sits at the table and inspects each of the six plastic containers he'll take with him. He checks for any obvious cracks that may have developed since they were last emptied, makes sure each one has the correct lid. He has two backup containers he can substitute if he finds any faults. Deciding how much water you can carry has become something of an art in this city. Carry too little and you'll have to repeat the task more often. Each time you expose yourself to the dangers of the streets you run the risk of injury or death. But carry too much and you lose the ability to run, duck, dive, anything it takes to get out of danger's way.

During his trek to get the water, he faces the possibility of being cut down by a sniper's bullet or killed in a mortar attack. The trip to get water takes hours. And he has to do it every few days.

We decided to take a chance on Craigslist - something we'd never done before - and found a dryer the next morning. It was in place and humming away a mere 4 days after the old dryer died.

Wednesday was piano lesson day. Our teacher lives just over the city line in Philadelphia. It's not the suburbs anymore, and the streets were a mess. She has only street parking and there was a lot of snow on the ground. People shovel out their own parking spaces and mark them with chairs or construction cones to keep interlopers away. The streets are narrow because of all the snow piled up. The plows push it to the sides of the road, but they don't remove it. I couldn't park, so I had to let Eleanor out of the car in front of the teacher's apartment and watch her stumble through the snow-covered walk up to the door, ring the bell, and wait for the teacher to let her in, all while hoping no one would need to get past me on the street. Then I went to find a place to park till her lesson was over.

While I waited for her in the Walmart parking lot, I read some more.

The trains don't run anymore. The streets are full of debris, boxcars and concrete piled at intersections in an attempt to foil the snipers on the hills. To go outside is to accept the possibility that you will be killed.

Sometimes our lives are inconvenient and we mistakenly think they are hard. That's one of the reasons I read books like The Cellist of Sarajevo. They remind me that my life is so very easy, always.

There really was a cellist of Sarajevo, Vedran Smailovic, and though the novel is named for him, he is a minor character, a focal point. During the siege he saw 22 of his neighbors killed by a mortar attack. In response, he sat at that spot each day for 22 days and played his cello. (You can read about his unhappiness with the book and his role in it here.)

The story - three separate stories, really - follow three other people throughout a day, or several days. The chapters alternate, each telling a part of the story of one person. It is not perfectly linear in the telling, but it won't matter once you start reading the book.

Kenan is the family man who struggles to get water. Dragan is alone; his family left the city but he has work at a bakery so he stayed behind. Arrow is a young woman, a soldier and sniper who targets the "men in the hills," the men who make it dangerous to cross a street. There are other characters whose lives we glimpse as they go about their day.

It is a beautifully written book, and hard to set aside. I found myself slipping away from my daily tasks to read one more chapter. It's a difficult book, though, because it doesn't flinch from the violence. People die while crossing a street, cut down by snipers. People don't behave the way we think they should. The way we are sure we would behave in similar circumstances. But it will also show you that people can retain their humanity even under the worst conditions imaginable.

Read this when you feel that your life is hard.

Linking up with Semicolon's Saturday Review of Books.

A stolen post

2011-02-02T07:10:00.000-08:00

This is important:

Mom Always Shovels the Drive

How are you teaching your sons to serve others?

2011-01-30T17:50:00.000-08:00

It's amazing how much talk can be packed into a seven-minute drive when something needs to be said.

Last night I drove my boy off on another adventure. Not camping with the Scouts this time, but participating in a robotics competition someplace about a hundred miles from here. He spent the night at his robotics club leader's house so they could get an early start in the morning.

Before we left, the seminarian said goodbye and asked him if there was anything I'd neglected to lecture him about. No, James said, "she's pretty thorough." We went over the location of the spending money, the phone, the key, the team t-shirt...

As always, I started crying a little bit as we left the house. "Why do you always start bawling, Mom?" he asked. He was very polite, but I know it's annoying. We talked about how hard it is for parents to watch their kids grow up and start doing things separate from the family. He speculated that he'd understand one day, when he is a parent, and I told him that he might not because typically it's the mom who has the harder time. Then I wondered how he felt about us not going along to watch the competition. We would like to see one, but it didn't work out for us to go this time. He said he didn't mind, and actually kind of liked it, being on his own with his friends.

But I was not quite satisfied. He had told me earlier that one of the families had driven up to the competition location the day before, staying in a hotel overnight to avoid the long drive in the morning. The whole family was going to watch the competition. I wondered if he felt neglected because we didn't do that. No, he said, he didn't. He said he likes having something that is his own. And he added that he likes the freedom. I didn't ask exactly what he felt free of. A crying mommie, for one thing.

I pulled into the driveway and he jumped out quickly. He grabbed his things out of the back seat, said "Love you Mom," slammed the car door and walked up to the house. I watched as he rang the bell and as his friend greeted him. They nodded in that way men have. He walked in the door, and then it was shut.

He never looked back.

I guess that's what we want, isn't it?

Eat Cake (A book review)

2011-01-27T18:27:00.000-08:00

Who needs a fun, light, optimistic book to read? Eat Cake by Jeanne Ray came to me via a bit of book serendipity - a random comment on someone's Facebook page. I requested it from the library as soon as I saw the title. I don't buy much fiction anymore, and surely not a book I am not sure I will like well enough to reread. Sorry about that, Ms Ray, nothing personal, that's just the way it goes.

But by page 2 I knew I was hooked when I read this:

Cakes have gotten a bad rap. People equate virtue with turning down dessert. There is always one person at the table who holds up her hand when I serve the cake. No, really, I couldn't, she says, and then gives her flat stomach a conspiratorial little pat. Everyone who is pressing a fork into that first tender layer looks at the person who declined the plate, and they all think, That person is better than I am. That person has discipline. But that is not a person with discipline, that is a person who has completely lost touch with joy. A slice of cake never made anybody fat. You don't eat the whole cake. You don't eat a cake every day of your life. You take the cake when it is offered because the cake is delicious. You have a slice of cake and what it reminds you of is someplace that's safe, uncomplicated, without stress. A cake is a party, a birthday, a wedding. A cake is what's served on the happiest days of your life.

Ruth is a suburban housewife who takes great pleasure and comfort in baking wonderful cakes. Then one day her world turns upside down and she needs to make sense of a new order in her life. Could that new order include cake?

There is not one bit of unpleasantness in this book. It is as sweet and light and fluffy as the frosting on one of Ruth's cakes. It is funny and charming and totally predictable - nothing that happened came as a surprise and nothing happened that I didn't want to happen.

Get it sometime when you are feeling a little out of sorts and just need something fun and easy and with no sadness whatsoever.

And speaking of sweet, there are some lovely cake recipes in the back. I think I will have to make the lemon layer cake with lemon cream frosting. Imagine, lemon curd and whipped cream blended together to fill and frost a cake. Wow.

Who deserves a baby shower?

2011-01-26T12:08:00.000-08:00

Today I found myself at The Shades of Pink, a new blog for me. I think I clicked through a link on someone's Facebook page to get there. The topic is intriguing: When a church gives a baby shower for an unwed mother, are they celebrating sin?

Apparently a young unwed mother was not given a baby shower at her church, and some ugly things were said to her regarding her sinfulness. The blogger asked the question:

Was throwing her a shower "celebrating her sin" or do you believe that everyone has to be embraced and shown the love of God?

The blogger and most of the commenters were appalled at the idea of refusing to give a shower for the baby of an unwed mother.   So far in the comments I'm the only one who thinks this is not necessarily the wrong attitude. There's a lot of talk about grace, and about people who seem to think they don't sin, and how people are too ready to judge and condemn. Those are my general impressions; you can click over and read the original post and the exact comments, including mine.

After leaving my comments I discovered I have more to say on the topic. But I think I used up my comment space there, so here it is.

First of all, no one should be saying ugly things to anyone else. Obviously. But how does showing the love of God translate into a baby shower?

My church gave a shower to an unwed teen mother last year. I didn't go because I was busy that night, not because I was boycotting it, though I admit I found the idea a bit unsettling. Another woman, a mother of teen girls, confided in me that she was bothered by the upcoming shower too. She felt that the celebration was sending the wrong message to other young girls in the congregation. She felt we were saying "go ahead, have a baby, we'll celebrate you, we'll give you a party" and that immature young women might not see beyond that.

Maybe young girls saw it that way; maybe they didn't. Mine didn't, because I talked to her about it.   Though we didn't go to the shower we gave a small gift and helped in other small ways. We didn't exactly celebrate, but we didn't shun mother and baby either. Many women in the church did as we did. That young woman got a lot of quiet help; she was not judged or condemned. But her pregnancy was not celebrated by all.

People talk a lot about nuance and I think that's what's missing here. People are seeing "no shower" as "judging and condemnation." It's not, necessarily.   We can love people and help them and try to give the baby the best possible start. But we don't have to have a party for it.

Once the shower is over, does anyone still feel like helping?   Who is taking more diapers over when the gift cards run out? Who is bringing meals long after the party leftovers are gone?

It might surprise you to know that often it's the women who objected to the shower.

It warms the heart to see a church rallying around a young person in trouble. That doesn't have to include giving them a party. No one deserves a baby shower. It's a gift. I don't give my kids gifts when they mess up. I give them love and forgiveness and help if they need it. I guess that's a gift in itself. That's the gift God gives me when I mess up. But do we throw a party?

You know what would warm my heart even more? If a young unwed mother was offered a shower and she turned it down. If she said "thanks, but you know, I don't think it's really appropriate."   That would be a wonderful thing to see.

Either way, I'd buy diapers and cook dinner for her. And I think most of you would do the same. And so, believe it or not, would most of the women who objected to the party.

.

Baking Bread

2011-01-26T08:47:00.000-08:00

Leslie asked me about my bread baking. She knows I bake bread because she's having a give-away of one of her lovely knitted creations and I mentioned my Kitchen Aid mixer and King Arthur Flour baguette pan in my comment/entry. So here is some bread talk.

I do like to make my family's bread, or most of it. My baking is pretty straightforward: loaves of bread. I have tried to make hamburger and hot dog buns, but that hasn't worked out for me. I do make naan once in a while, with my husband's help. And I may have made pita bread. Did I ever make bagels? Not sure, but we talk about it frequently. Mostly it's simple loaves.

My flour choices are pretty simple too. White bread flour (yes, I admit I use white flour), whole wheat, sometimes rye. Sometimes I mix them, and sometimes I add other fun ingredients like oatmeal, other cereals, flax seed, wheat germ...

Making bread is easy with the Kitchen Aid mixer. I don't have to knead. It would do my arms good to knead bread dough, but there just isn't the time. Two minutes of kneading, or 15? We'd never have bread if I had to knead it. I suppose a bread machine would take even less of my time but that is one appliance I never felt a need for.

Most of my bread is based on the King Arthur Flour Hearth Bread recipe. It's very simple (I actually have it memorized now) and can be adapted to other flours. The King Arthur Flour 200th Anniversary Cookbook (King Arthur Flour Cookbooks) has a great bread-making tutorial that takes you through all the steps for making bread, and how to vary it. The recipe can also be found on their website, but for a beginner the instructions in the book can't be beat.

When I make baguettes, I use my wonderful baguette pan. My husband gave this to me one Christmas or birthday years ago. Ever since we moved from the San Francisco Bay Area 13 years ago, we have been searching for good bread, and I suppose that's when I started making our own. I haven't mastered sourdough yet, mostly because I don't want to deal with the starter, but I can make a pretty good crusty French bread using the KAF hearth bread recipe and this pan.

I keep experimenting with ways to make it more sour without using a starter that I have to tend. (My husband used to make a great sourdough with a starter, but he doesn't have time for that these days.) My latest method (which is not my invention) involves making a sponge and letting it sit overnight on the counter, or for a day or two in the refrigerator. The sponge is simply the water, yeast, and sugar called for in the recipe, plus 2 cups of the flour. I just put it in the mixer bowl, cover it, and let it sit overnight, then in the morning I proceed with the recipe. Usually I just make it plain; occasionally I toss some grated parmesan and black pepper into the dough when kneading it. After the first rise I form the loaves and ease them into the baguette pan. Sometimes, if I remember, I sprinkle some poppy and sesame seeds on the loaves just before putting them in the oven.

They are delicious and everyone wants to rip into one as soon as they're out of the oven. The baguettes are small so it's not too horrible if my family of 4 consumes one immediately. These also freeze well; I try to "bake ahead" sometimes and have a few in the freezer for days I just can't get the baking done.

For whole wheat bread, I follow the same basic recipe but use, well, whole wheat flour or a mixture of whole wheat and white (which makes it not whole wheat, right?). Occasionally I'll buy some white whole wheat flour but that's not so easy to find here yet and it's pretty expensive. This is when I add other grains to the bread. Sometimes I soak a mixed-grain cereal like Bob's Red Mill 8-Grain cereal in some water and add that. I'm still messing around with that method. The first time I tried it, I just tossed the dry cereal in with the flour but it came out a little too crunchy. Better to soak it in hot water for a bit to soften up. The trick here is getting the right proportion of "other" ingredients to flour, because they lack gluten and will weigh the bread down. If it's used for morning toast, it will get eaten anyway... but I don't like heavy bread. I add Bob's Red Mill Vital Wheat Gluten flour to the dough when I use any grains other than white flour. And I just use regular loaf pans when I make this bread, not the baguette pan.

Recently I tried the nine-grain bread recipe from The Il Fornaio Baking Book: Sweet and Savory Recipes from the Italian Kitchen which I have owned for years, but don't use often enough. That was a sentimental purchase as we used to go the restaurant when we lived in San Jose. The biscotti recipe is wonderful. This uses cereal as noted above. It also uses a very small amount of yeast so it takes longer to rise, but the flavor is wonderful. The slower the rise, the more time the flavor has to develop! But sometimes I am in a hurry. When I make this again, I will add some of that gluten to make it a little lighter.

I also add the gluten to my rye bread to keep it from being heavy. We love rye bread but I don't bake it often enough. Remember party ryes? I loved it when my mother bought those little rye breads. I used my baguette pan to make my own for our New Year's Day party. They were perfect. Oh, my rye bread recipe is also from King Arthur.

We sometimes talk about getting a grain mill to do our own flour, but that is for someday, maybe. Right now I have neither the space to store one or the inclination to use one. I buy my white all-purpose and bread flours in 25- or 50-pound bags at Costco. If I could buy whole wheat flour like that, I would. I like having a lot of flour, and store it in large buckets we bought years ago. Oh, I also buy a 2-pound bag of yeast at Costco and store it in the freezer. I always have plenty of yeast. I think I could be out of every other kind of food but could still make bread.

So that's my bread story. Anyone can make bread. Get a basic cookbook from the library, or look at the KAF or Bob's Red Mill sites, and start. You don't need a mixer, or fancy pans, just flour, yeast, water and salt (even the sugar is not necessary, though it does help the yeast grow). Strong arms are a plus, but this is a good way to get the kids involved. You can take turns! Have a competition to see who can knead the longest!

What kind of bread do you like to bake? Have a favorite baking website? Let me know!

A book I tried to avoid, but couldn't.

2011-01-25T16:49:00.000-08:00

Half (or more) of the Christian-mommy-blogosphere is talking about One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp, the well-known blogger of A Holy Experience. Her book, which was released just weeks ago, has been highly anticipated and is already apparently a best-seller.

I'll be blunt and say right off that I didn't want to read the book. See, the author's writing style just doesn't work for me. (And judging by the reviews, I am the only person on the planet who feels this way.) Where others see "poetic prose," I see odd syntax. Honestly, it's a little hard for me to read phrases like "my eyes have rolled haughty" or "the radical wonder of it stuns me happy," sentence construction which would earn a red mark on a composition assignment. Then there are sentences like "I fly to Paris and learn how to make love to God" which is, grammatically speaking, a perfectly fine sentence, but is way over the top for me. Actually that entire chapter ("the joy of intimacy") is over the top for me. But enough of that; let's get on to the good stuff.

Anyway, I did buy it. Last week I was feeling lonely and edgy because the seminarian was going camping for a couple of nights and I was going to be the sole adult in charge at home. I just don't like that. So, I wanted some comforting reading. I wanted something new. And I read yet another blog post about it and... went right over to Amazon and placed my order. It was inexpensive, I got free shipping, and I had it in my hands less than 24 hours after ordering.

And so I started reading, and I found that... it's a good book. In many places, a very, very good book.

The basic premise is simple, though not easy: start being grateful for the gifts in your life, and you will see more and more to be grateful for. You will experience God and your life in a different way. You may find the joy you've been seeking. This idea of hers has been around for a while; you may have seen blog posts with gratitude lists. Maybe you've posted one yourself. If not, you can see what that's all about here. I think it is true, that the more we find to be thankful for, the more we will see God, and the good, in our lives. It's the stopping to see and notice that's so hard to do.

There is more. She quotes Isaiah:

10 if you pour yourself out for the hungry
   and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
   and your gloom be as the noonday.
¹¹And the LORD will guide you continually
   and satisfy your desire in scorched places
   and make your bones strong;
and you shall be like a watered garden,
   like a spring of water,
   whose waters do not fail.

Isaiah 58:10-11 (ESV)

Yes, the more we give of ourselves to others, even to the point of emptiness, we will be filled. Fulfilled. This is good to read on a night when you're exhausted, and anxious, and feel like you've given away too much.

One review I read (don't ask me where, please) included the comment that Mrs. Voskamp is not "someone who's studied theology in a seminary for years" (paraphrased) as a positive about the book. I like theology students; I'm married to one. But this is not a theology book and it should not be read like one. It's a very personal book about one's woman's experience with God and loss and gratitude. And change. It's raw and emotional and sometimes painful to read. Her doctrine and theology may not be a perfect fit for yours. But it's her own story.

So after all I'm glad I read the book. I'm glad I could separate the message from the style. I still think it's odd that I felt compelled to buy it after I hadn't wanted to. It's also interesting that just about every word she wrote about worry applies to me right now. I'm in a sort of worrisome time of life these days. So it was good. Comforting and convicting:

If authentic, saving belief is the act of trusting,

then to choose stress is an act of disbelief... atheism.

Yikes, right? Hard to read, hard to think about.

Oh, and I started my own gratitude list. I'm not likely to blog it; I enjoy reading others' but it's a little too personal for me to share with the world (small as my blogging world may be). It's been only a few days but I can see the value in it, particularly when I turn something scary or annoying or worrisome into something to be thankful for. And that, of course, is the point.

A world I don't fit into

2011-01-22T15:21:00.000-08:00

Today my girlie has a friend over. It's an all-day, all-night playdate. Fun. They've scrapbooked and goofed around and now they're working on a Broadway-style production. I love this girl and her family.

So I'm not annoyed as much as puzzled by this exchange with our young guest.

Eleanor: Be careful! Don't squish your cellphone! (The girls were climbing in and out of a big shipping box and taking turns decorating it. Yeah, they're 10 1/2 and 12 and still play in boxes.)

Guest: It's getting in the way!

Me: Where is it?

Guest: It's in my pocket!

Me: Why don't you just put your phone with your other stuff? You don't need it now.

Guest: Well, my friends keep texting me to ask where I am. And I have to text them back to say "I'm with a friend and can't talk now" but they text me back to ask what I'm doing and I text again to say "I can't talk now!"

Me: Why don't you just stop answering them then? You don't have to respond immediately.

She didn't answer this. Not out of rudeness; she just didn't have anything to say. And their game went on.

I don't get the impression that the phone and the texting was troublesome to Eleanor, who does not have her own cellphone and has never received a text in her life. (She has sent a few to her Dad, dictated by me while driving.) I haven't had a chance to ask if it bothered her, and will probably forget about it by the time I do. It's not particularly troublesome to me, except: here is this girl, not even a teen yet, who already feels the urgency of responding immediately to every text message from friends. While, by the way, at the home of another friend.

Of course, it would seem rude to the texting friends if she didn't respond to them immediately. Because they know she has the phone, and that she has constant access to it. It's not as if she might be out of the house and away from the home phone. She has the phone, she can answer the phone... so she must answer the phone.

I know I'm getting old but I just don't want to be a part of that world. And I don't want my kids to either.

But I don't guess I can stop it.

Do you ever ignore your cell phone? Do your kids?

Maybe there should be a tv show about what teens should be doing

2011-01-22T04:53:00.000-08:00

The only thing I know about the TV show "Skins" is what I've seen linked on Drudge Report. I followed one link to a preview of the show but when I saw I had to verify my birthdate to view it because of the mature content, I knew I didn't need to ~~spend~~ waste my time.

But then I saw this defense of the show by one of the stars:

It's what teens are doing.

So, maybe there should be a tv show about what teens should be doing.

But who would watch that?

Chain letter guilt

2011-01-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

The other day I received email from a friend I'd fallen out of touch with. We had been pretty good friends, but I moved and then she moved and our lives went on without each other. I'm not sure when the emails stopped, and I don't know who owed whom a letter. We just stopped.

My excitement at hearing from her faded as soon as I realized that it was just a chain letter. Just a mass mailing, no personal contact. My heart sank a little. I am not the best at keeping in touch with old friends. Sometimes months go by between communications. I try to send out a quick "hi, how are you, what's up?" mail to old friends a few times a year, at least. I don't really like that, but it's the reality of my life, and most of theirs.

Never would I dream of sending a chain letter to an old friend like that.

But I don't like the chain letters anyway. The one I get most often is the recipe sharing letter. I never do it. I don't know 6 or 7 or whatever number of people I need to send the letter on to in order not to break the chain. OK, I do know that many people (I'm not that pathetic) but not that many that want to do the recipe swap. There are so many places to find recipes, why bother with a chain letter? Usually I follow the instructions on the letter and advise the person who sent it to me that I'm not sending it on. That way she can find someone else and not break the chain. Or not. I don't really care one way or another.

So if I have your address, don't worry, I will never, ever send you a chain letter.

This post is mistitled. I have zero chain letter guilt.

That word again

2011-01-18T17:27:00.000-08:00

We're reading Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, a book about a black family in Mississippi during the Great Depression, in our little homeschool this week. It's been on my list for a while but I finally pulled it out to read for a couple of reasons. It's on our list for Reading Olympics, a book competition my kids are participating in this year. (Teams read books and answer questions about them.) And, it contains the word which must not be spoken, which has been on my mind again lately. I've complained about the word before on another blog, a long time ago. It's time again.

Everyone's heard about and expressed an opinion on efforts to remove the word from Huckleberry Finn. Some might also have heard about the high school that's worried about staging the play "Joe Turner's Come and Gone" which contains the word, because it is so offensive. August Wilson, the playwright, was half black, and probably used the word for a reason. It would be ludicrous to remove it from the play.

So rather than hand Roll of Thunder off to my kids, I decided to read it to them. We haven't had a good book going for a while, and I wanted to be able to read the word and talk to them about it. They already know they must not say the word. But I didn't want them to shy away from the book because of it. I'm not skipping it or replacing it with "slave" (as proposed for Huck Finn) or the stupid phrase "the n-word." That's not how the author wrote the dialog, so why would I presume to change it?

Mildred D. Taylor, the author, was hurt by criticisms for using the word. In a speech accepting an award for her work, she said

,Now, however, there are those who think that perhaps my recounting are too painful, and there are those who seek to remove books such as mine from school reading lists. There are some who say the books should be removed because the "N" word is used. There are some who say such events as described in my books and books by others did not happen. There are those who do not want to remember the past or who do not want their children to know the past and who would whitewash history, and these sentiments are not only from whites.

In Texas recently a Hispanic father went to the school board and asked thatThe Well be removed from school reading lists because the "N" word was used. In Orange County, California a black mother objected to her son reading Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry in a class where he was the only African-American, and the school’s solution to her objection was to seat her son in the hall while the book was being read. In a Northern state, a black church questioned a book like Roll of Thunder being presented in the schools to its children.

I am hurt that any child would ever be hurt by my words. As a parent I understand not wanting a child to hear painful words, but as a parent I do not understand not wanting a child to learn about a history that is part of America, a history about a family representing millions of families that are strong and loving and who remain united and strong, despite the obstacles they face.

In the writing of my most recent work, titled The Land, I have found myself hesitating about using words that would have been spoken in the late 1800s because of my concern about our "politically correct" society. But just as I have had to be honest with myself in the telling of all my stories, I realize I must be true to the feelings of the people about whom I write and true to the stories told. My stories might not be "politically correct," so there will be those who will be offended, but as we all know, racism is offensive.

It is not polite, and it is full of pain.

I recommend Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry, which is listed for kids ten and up. I wouldn't give it to a ten-year-old to read on his own. It is a book read together so you can stop and talk about it, often.

My kids can't comprehend that anyone ever treated black people as they were treated in this book. They flinch when I say the word. That is a good thing.

Singing the back to work blues

2011-01-03T09:54:00.000-08:00

It's back to work today after a too-long Christmas vacation.   I had planned our December homeschooling badly and our vacation started sooner than I'd wanted it to. If I had been on top of things, I'd have had lots of good independent work for my kids to do while I did pre-Christmas work of my own. Instead, the books were forgotten and my kids watched way too much tv, none of which could be considered educational in any meaningful way. They did learn some new curse words, though, and we had some useful discussions on why there is so much adultery on tv crime shows, so maybe it wasn't all bad. (I do like the way they audibly flinch when they hear even mild profanity. They are still not used to it, as I was growing up.)

We always have a hard time transitioning back to work after a vacation. My usual lecture includes reminding my kids that their school friends have to get up and go to school for a full day when vacation is over, getting right back into math, grammar, and all that other work they do. I know by now to their ears, that song sounds like the teacher in a Charlie Brown movie.   That argument means nothing to them: they don't go to school. We chose a different life, so why do I go on and on about the one we rejected?

This year I tried something new. The inspiration came in a conversation with a friend at our New Year's Day open house party. When I asked her if she was back to work on Monday, she sighed heavily and said yes reluctantly. I haven't worked for quite a few years but I remembered those back-to-work days after a vacation. Brutal. Even when I liked my job, it was hard to go back after a break.

So on Sunday as we discussed the upcoming week I talked about people with jobs instead of students at school. My kids are not employees yet, but I expect they will be someday, and they may as well understand that they will have their opportunity to sing the back-to-work blues as adults too.

For some reason this seemed to make more sense to them. At least, they didn't argue. They seemed to actually hear my words, not the usual blah blah blah. The seminarian and I reminisced about great vacations that ended and not-so-great jobs we had to go back to.   And great jobs that were still hard to go back to, because vacation is so much more fun.

Of course being back to work for the kids meant back to work for me, too. I didn't have as much free time as they did over the past few weeks, but it was hard putting together the week's assignments, making sure all the books were in their proper places, and getting myself up and organized, ready to encourage them on their way today. We had a pretty good start, and are on track to do what I set out to do. No one complained; the morning work was done quickly and well. Now it's lunchtime; I'm taking a quick break for myself while the kids do a few chores, then we have a little more work to do. I try to finish the work they find tedious (math, grammar) in the morning and save the more fun work (science, history) for the afternoon.

Since our vacation started earlier than planned, we don't have any new books or activities starting today. But I did add a new book to our breakfast time reading: Discipline, The Glad Surrender, which I have mentioned before.

I had said it's a good book for homeschooling mothers but I think it's good for homeschool students as well. The writing is mostly clear, the chapters short, and it leads to good discussion at the table. That is how our best days start: with books and talking. Whenever I tweak our daily routine, I leave a big chunk of time for breakfast whenever I can. Somehow this helps them transition into their work better. A morning prayer helps, too.

Back to work doesn't have to include the blues.

I'm writing this post for the fifth anniversary of the Carnival of Homeschooling. I lack the discipline (heh) to write a post for every weekly Carnival, but I guess I've submitted a few each year. Sometimes I forget to read it, or I'll go through a few weeks where I just ignore it because I'm tired of homeschool talk. But I always go back. Thanks very much to Henry and Janine Cate of Why Homeschool for starting the Carnival!

Push

2011-01-02T05:18:00.000-08:00

My boy is a pretty good Boy Scout. He does what he's told and doesn't cause trouble. He's enthusiastic and helpful, I hear. He's advanced appropriately and has been given responsibility as a leader of a patrol (a group of boys within a troop). So he does pretty well.

But he's not what you call a self-starter. He's at the point now where he gets to pick the badges he wants to earn, and start working on them. No one is pushing him to do any particular work; it's up to him to earn the badges he needs to advance in rank. He reached this point early last fall, but he hasn't started working on any badges yet. This isn't because there aren't any badges he's interested in; there are many. He settled on two a few months ago. Now he just can't get started.

So every week or so I ask him what he's doing. The answer, of course, is nothing, which causes me to get frustrated and start to wonder what is wrong with this kid? I ask him if he's not interested in advancing in Scouts; no, it's not that. I ask if he's done with Scouts (while praying he is not) and he looks at me as if I have two heads and no, of course not (with the silent but implied you idiot on the end).

Then I coach him on the next steps. Who to talk to at the next Scout meeting. Who to call. He still needs help sometimes with phone calls. So far we haven't made much progress, though. One merit badge counselor said he'd be at a meeting, but wasn't. Another hasn't responded yet to email. Now this boy is content to wait, forever if necessary, for them to respond to him. He feels that their turn now. Which technically it may be, but he's the one who wants the badge, so he's got to be the one in charge. He can't be passive.

He prefers to be passive. It is in his nature to be passive, to let events flow over him and carry him along. Not to make events happen.

I struggle mightily with this characteristic of his.

Throughout all this I'm thinking about it, a lot. Should I stop pushing him? Should I let him succeed or fail on his own, and stop getting involved? I don't want him to drop out of Scouts, and I'm afraid he'll do that if he stops working on rank advancement. But, what good is it if I'm always pushing him? I can't push him forever. One day he is going to have to get along without his mommy telling him what to do. But is he ready for that?

Sometimes I wonder if this is a homeschool thing. Schoolkids have their teachers telling them what they need to do, and when, and from what I gather, most (not all) parents pretty much stay out of it. (I don't mean they are not involved, but they aren't the ones pushing the kids to get things done. That's my impression from conversations with other mothers, not the result of scientific research on the topic.) So why shouldn't I stay out of Scouts? Why am I always pushing, reminding, nagging?

We are always pushing our kid to do things that, it seems, other kids don't do. For example, if he is going to miss a Scout meeting, we make him call the guys just above and below him in the leadership hierarchy. He used to hate making those calls, but now that he is a leader he sees the value in it. As a leader, he finds it's helpful to know if someone is going to be absent. Almost every week someone just doesn't show up. I don't understand why the parents don't have their kids make that call. Maybe they just stay out of the kids' Scout business.

Anyway, I spend time thinking about these things.

Last week, after I helped him email the badge counselor to get started on the "Pets" badge (a no-brainer for our family), I asked him what he wanted me to do. Keep pushing, or shut up?

He thought for a minute and said "Mom. Remember that year I hated making phone calls so much I almost missed a campout?" (Oh yes I do. He needed a piece of information from one of the adult leaders. He was so afraid of making that call he tried to convince me - and himself - that he really didn't want to go on this campout after all. Once I forced him to make the call, his desire to camp came back.) "Now, I don't mind calling people I know. But I still hate calling people I don't know. And you know I'm forgetful. So..." deep breath here; is he about to cry? "Yeah, can you help me a little longer?"

So we made a deal. One more rank advancement, and then he's on his own. Can he do it? We'll find out in about 6 months, I think.

The best and the worst

2011-01-01T16:37:00.000-08:00

The best thing about hosting a big crowded party is... there is no time to eat any of the massive amount of food that's being served.

The worst thing about hosting a big crowded party is... being alone with all the leftovers after everyone's gone... and starving from not having eaten all day.

Getting it right this year?

2010-12-31T14:14:00.000-08:00

"Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right."

This quote was at the top of a grocery store ad. I was just looking for meat bargains and instead found this little snippet of wisdom, or inspiration, or something, attributed to Oprah Winfrey.

I have no idea what Ms. Winfrey means by this, if she even said it.   What is the "it" we should be trying to get right?

Maybe I'm a slacker but I am not setting myself a goal to "get it right." If I can't even decide what "it" is, how can I ever hope to get it right?   If "it" is life, that's a big thing to try to get right. It can't be done, till Jesus comes back. May as well give up.

Or maybe I'll try to get one thing right this year. My life of prayer and serving God?   I would like to do that, but can I get it right? Marriage? I'd like to get that right, but... doubtful. Parenting? Um, no. I'm sure to make a parenting mistake or two... every day. Homeschooling? Not likely. I'm sure to mess something up in that area. Housekeeping? Laughable idea.

Can we get anything right?    Maybe we're talking about learning to make flan or grilling a steak. Building a table that won't wobble or sewing a skirt with a straight hem. Those are doable. So is remembering to be thankful more often. Making the effort to say something kind to someone, whether a stranger or my own child. Taking a little more care to think of ways - and execute them! - to please my husband. Praying for someone at the moment I say that I will, rather than waiting for later (and forgetting). Those are a little harder than mastering cooking or carpentry skills, but they can be done.

Maybe if people started trying to get the small things in their lives right, the bigger things would take care of themselves.

What will you try to get right this year?

5th Anniversary Carnival of Homeschooling coming up

2010-12-29T12:24:00.000-08:00

Henry Cate at Why Homeschool posted an alert that the Carnival of Homeschooling will mark its 5-year anniversary with next week's edition. He is encouraging all homeschooling bloggers to submit a post.

Seems like I go through cycles with the Carnival. I'll submit a lot of posts, then run out of things to say. So I stop submitting posts but will still go read it. Then, suddenly it seems I stop that too. Then, I get interested again.

At one time I think I set myself a goal to post in the Carnival every week. Or maybe once a month. If I don't even remember the goal, you can be sure I didn't accomplish it. But no matter; I'm going to try to come up with something for the anniversary edition. And you should too.

Is your church open this morning?

2010-12-26T05:34:00.000-08:00

Last week I was surprised to read that someone's church is not "open" today - not having services on Sunday because it's the day after Christmas. A little googling showed me that that church is not unique. I found many church websites that had a variation on "Enjoy your Christmas holiday; no church on December 26."

The last time Christmas fell on a Sunday there was some controversy about churches opting not to have services on that day. My church was open and we had several visitors, some of whom were really angry that their churches were closed. At the time it didn't seem so odd to me. I thought that so many people go to church on Christmas Eve, so... what's the difference? A little reflection on that changed my mind. For a church to be closed on Sunday now seems ludicrous to me.

Now, it seems even stranger to have church closed a Sunday just because Christmas was yesterday.

There seem to be two reasons put out for the closure: 1, so that people can spend time with their families, and 2, to give workers and volunteers a break.

The first reason doesn't really deserve consideration. Worshiping together as a family during the Christmas season should not be a burden or something to be avoided. If people feel that way, maybe they need to find a new church. Of course people sometimes skip church; traveling or having family and friends in might be good reasons for that. But the church shouldn't close down.

But the second reason given is really telling. Why do the workers and volunteers need a break on the day after Christmas? Are people so burdened they need a Sunday off? Maybe those churches have too many things going on for their congregations to support. Maybe there aren't enough volunteers so the work is not spread around enough. Maybe the church leadership should consider their programs and cut back so people are not overworked. Or maybe they should be encouraging more people to step up and get to work rather than expecting someone else to do everything.

So we are off to church this morning. Our pastor is on vacation so someone else is filling in on the preaching. There will be volunteers for the nursery and someone will still bring food for the fellowship time after the service. Someone will be there to play music. We will probably have a small crowd as people are traveling and some may choose to stay home. But our church will be open on Sunday, as it should be.

Christmas Morning

2010-12-25T05:25:00.000-08:00

It's 8 am here and I'm still the only one up. Do I miss those days of overeager kiddies up before dawn to open their presents? Not really. I like the leisurely Christmas mornings. I never enjoyed those frenzied giftwrap-ripping sessions. Well, I guess as a kid I did. But now a little restraint is nice.

So I've been reading the blogs this morning and am wondering how I missed the boat on stressing out over having the perfect Christmas. I don't guess there will be a perfect Christmas till Jesus comes again. (Hmm, will we even celebrate Christmas then?)

This morning I'm going to attempt to modify a nice breakfast pastry recipe to see if I can make it even more delicious for my family. It might work. Or it might not. It probably won't be perfect, though I suppose it could be.

What does the perfect Christmas look like? I guess for me it looks like my family all around me. And so since we're all together, it'll be a perfect Christmas, even if the breakfast pastry doesn't work out.

If something doesn't work out perfectly at your house today, don't let it wreck your Christmas. Remember the one perfect person we are celebrating today. If He came to your Christmas celebration, would He care if the breakfast pastry wasn't perfectly delicious?

Christmas Eve

2010-12-24T07:49:00.000-08:00

I'm not supposed to be here right now. This morning my family was supposed to wake up in a house high in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. We were to have rolled in late last night, kissed my mother- and father-in-law hello, and tumbled into bed, tired after our 12- or 14-hour drive.

But we're home instead. As always before we travel in snowy areas in winter, we watched the weather forecast. And it just got worse and worse. Yesterday we decided we'd better stay home.

It's disappointing to us all. Christmas is a family time, and we have no family where we live. During our married life, we've rarely lived near family. We don't know the pleasure (or the pain) of frequent contact with parents, in-laws, siblings. Christmas is a nice time to be together. But not in snowy mountains in winter. Maybe we should all move to Arizona. Or New Zealand!

So it's a quiet Christmas Eve here. My shopping is done. I even managed to mail the little gifts my kids chose for their grandparents yesterday, so they won't be too late. Wrapping is mostly done. Today I will bake flan for tomorrow's dessert, and some sugar cookies - my kids like flan, but it's not a very traditional Christmas dessert and they like their traditions.

Some friends invited us to bring our lonely selves to them for Christmas dinner, but we really don't feel all that lonely and will have dinner at home. The grocery store wasn't too bad yesterday, and there were still plenty of rib roasts, potatoes, and broccoli for our Christmas menu. We might join our friends for dessert, taking our flan and cookies with us.

Here is the broccoli casserole I'm trying this year. It's quite different from my usual, which my mother-in-law gave me years ago. We'll see if we embrace this new one or stick with the standard. Or trade off.

There are lots of posts in my brain and in my draft folder. I always seem to have a blogging slump this time of year. Of course I was busy preparing for travel and doing the usual Christmas preparations. I hope to reconnect with old blogging friends and acquaintances in the new year.

But now it's time to bake, cook, watch a movie, and listen to some music!

Best Christmas Books: The Story of Holly and Ivy

2010-12-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

I keep meaning to get to that favorite Christmas books post, but can't seem to. So finally I had the brilliant idea to post on just one book at a time. Less overwhelming.

Our favorite book for the past few years has been The Story of Holly and Ivy, written by Rumer Godden and illustrated by Barbara Cooney. It is a sweet, sweet story of family and longing and wishes fulfilled. It is not written from a Christian perspective, at least not explicitly, but if you read this and don't see God's hand, you are trying to avoid seeing it.

Eleanor and I love this book and always read it together. James used to like it too, but he is too much of a young man now to read a book about a girl and her doll. But sometimes I will still catch him listening in...

Barbara Cooney is one of my favorite illustrators; her picture books are ones we never give away. I don't know that we've read other books by Rumer Godden. I should look for some!

I could not get a better picture up than this tacky-looking ad. Yes, if you click this link and buy the book I think I get a nickel or something. Where ever you acquire it, this is a book every family should have.

Simplifying Christmas? Really?

2010-12-15T05:59:00.000-08:00

Everywhere I turn on the internet right now, I see articles and blog posts about simplifying Christmas. They are filled with lots of advice for keeping this crazy season calm, organized, and less crazy. The writers talk about remembering the true meaning of Christmas and taking the focus off the externals... and then suggest organizational methods like making a gift inventory and stashing gifts all year long. There are daily to-do lists that include decorating and shopping and cooking. All these things point to more work, more craziness, more complication. It's not simpler. At least, not for me.

I like decorating and shopping and cooking too. OK, I don't really like the decorating; I like having the house decorated. There is a big difference. But that's why God blessed me with a girl who loves to decorate and will nudge me just enough to get the boxes out, get cracking on that tree, get those vases full of greens! I haven't gotten around to the battery-operated tea lights yet, though.

Here is my way to have a simple Christmas:

I don't think about Christmas every time I walk into a store. If I see something that screams out the name of a person, I'll buy it. But I don't actively seek gift-buying opportunities all the time. I don't want to think about Christmas all year long. If I'm thinking about Christmas, I'm not thinking of something that needs my attention now. And if I buy a Christmas gift in March, I will have lost it and/or forgotten all about it by the time I need it. In fact, right now I'm wondering where that box of Christmas cards that I bought last month got to. I always find the gifts I need and want, even when starting my shopping "late" (after Thanksgiving). We also keep our gift list small: family and close friends. Not everyone we know.

I never bought my kids the hard-to-find, popular toy of the moment. I trained my kids not to want the popular toy of the moment, so I didn't even set myself up for resentment by doing that. I do ask my kids if there is something they hope to receive, and I am never surprised by their answers because I know what they like. I set their expectations: when my boy half-jokingly mentioned an iphone or itouch, I told him not to expect either of those. He knew that, but I wanted to make it explicit. I focus on useful but desirable gifts for my kids: books, of course, an xbox game that they've borrowed many times from the library so we know is a keeper, kits (electronics, crafts, root beer), and a little cash. When they were little the gifts leaned toward Legos, more craft stuff, crayons, paper, Playmobil. Some clothing, usually. I order as much as I can online so I'm not being driven crazy in the stores.

I don't decorate like crazy. We have a tree and put some things up on the walls and on the mantel, but we don't change out every photo on the wall and every objet d'art (ha ha) on the shelves. I do feel a touch of envy when I see the gorgeous tablescapes and such on blogs, but... I get over it.

We don't cram lots of activities into our season. We have church events and friend events, and we try to go to a seasonal event in the community. This year we're going to check out the Christmas Village in downtown Philadelphia for the first time. We don't try to see everything that's available. We tend not to go places where there are long lines and crowds, because we don't like that anyway, but who wants to spend time standing in line?

We bake, and sometimes give some away, but honestly most people have enough of their own baked things and don't want more. We skipped a cookie exchange this year because we didn't feel like we could make 8 dozen more cookies, and weren't sure we wanted 8 dozen more coming our way. We had baked cookies for a church event so had sampled most of our favorites anyway. We have a couple more things we want to make, but we don't go crazy.

We read together, see friends and family, enjoy exchanging gifts, and don't go crazy. And I don't need to plan ahead all year for it. I don't need a strategy. That just complicates things.

(At least for me. Your mileage may vary. If you find plans and lists and strategies helpful, go for it.)

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What we want, what we need... and deciding between the two

2010-12-07T12:37:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I touched a Kindle for the first time. A friend had brought his to a gathering and the seminarian and I got to fondle it for a few minutes. We both wanted one immediately. But we knew we don't need one, and it's out of our budget anyway, so we kind of forgot about it.

Then we heard that Amazon was going to be selling them for an unbelievably low price a few days after Thanksgiving. . (As it happened, it was truly unbelievable; the offer never appeared on Amazon.) For a few minutes we were excited about the prospect of getting one.

But as we talked about it some more we came to the conclusion that neither of us have any use for one. Really, we don't. We aren't traveling right now - haven't been on a plane since 2007 - and have access to all the "real" books we need, and more. I found myself trying really hard to justify the purchase of something I wanted but truly have no use for.

I still want a smartphone. I want to have access to the internet while I'm out and about. I want to use some of those cool aps I hear people talking about all the time. It doesn't matter that my - what do I call it, a dumbphone? - works fine for its purpose. I just want one.

Last month before Thanksgiving break, my kids' art teacher gave them a homework assignment: draw a picture of a gift you'd like to give, and one you'd like to get. My son, bless him, couldn't think of a gift he'd like to give. Finally he drew a book. But the gift he'd like to get? He wanted to draw an iphone but thought he shouldn't. I told him to go ahead and draw a really good picture, because that was as close as he'd be getting to one anytime soon. And so he did. Did a great job, too.

He has a cellphone to carry when he's out and about without us. Usually he's around other people who have phones but I don't like bumming phone minutes. And, I'd like to be able to call him. His phone is rather plain and dull - a dumbphone like mine. But it works for its intended purpose.

He understands that he doesn't need anything more, but he wants one, just like I want a smartphone and a really nice ipod instead of the little shuffle I won 3+ years ago. Oh, and maybe the Kindle for... oh, I don't know.

I would like us all to get to a place where we didn't want things we don't need. Where we recognize that these things are fun and useful and, for some people, even necessary. But not for us. I want us to be content with our dumbphones and our little ipod and remember that there are people in the world who couldn't even imagine those things existing - forget about wanting them or acquiring them.

What don't you need this Christmas?

How can this be?

2010-12-02T20:46:00.000-08:00

Sandy at Pencil on Paper posted a list of titles in her Christmas book basket. It made me think of our Christmas books, which are not out of storage yet, but will be this weekend. I decided to look for my previous post(s) about our Christmas books, and couldn't find one. I can hardly believe I have never done a Christmas book post!

So I have to get through the church Christmas party on Saturday, and the food prep for same tomorrow, and then I'll bring out the books. Till then you can read about Sandy's books, and tell me about your favorites!

Post NaNoWriMo: Back to normal?

2010-12-01T06:59:00.000-08:00

No.

No, we're not back to normal yet. We should be, but, not quite yet.

NaNoWriMo took a lot out of me. I loved it and hope to do it again next year and for many years to come.   But, it was a hard month.   I'm tired. I want to read - I barely have time to read anyway, but even less during the month of writing. Right now there are 5 or 6 books with bookmarks in them. I've read a few pages here and there, mostly as unfinished research for the story. What I really want to read is some fluffy novel with no challenge whatsoever.

But the house is still showing the month of neglect. I am not a good housekeeper any month of the year; less so when I'm really distracted by something more fun than housework. My little house reflects my family's interests:   A table covered with parts of a model plane James has been building; a bin overflowing with fabric Eleanor and I want to make something out of; a half-finished Christmas wall-hanging ready to be sewn together; books everywhere; balls of yarn connected to partially-completed knitting and crochet projects. That's just the normal stuff of our lives! Then there is the good china that needs to be put back in its box and moved into the dungeon (yes, I know that Thanksgiving was almost a week ago), the stack of papers that needs to be filed, and the artwork that's piled up and needs a permanent home. (I love the art class my kids take but I wonder why everything has to be on huge paper.)

The kids are not feeling normal yet either. James is still working on his book a little. He's not ready to start editing - or maybe he's continuing to write to avoid the editing. Eleanor is restless.   She can't settle on anything right now. I know that feeling.

Oh, and there's the Christmas Gala at church on Saturday for which I need to cook. We're doing appetizers and desserts this year instead of our typical catered dinner. Our little church can't afford the caterer this time around, so people are pitching in to help. I was assigned to make cookies. So there are the cookie recipe books and magazines on the table as Eleanor and I look for the perfect cookies. They must taste good, which I can do. They must also be pretty, which I'm not so good at.

So it's another unschoolish week. We're getting our basics in, and home ec, and lots of composition.   This is when I love having graded test prep books around, like these by Spectrum. It gives the kids some work to do that isn't too burdensome, doesn't take a lot of my time, and helps me to see how they're coming along in certain areas. I can see today, for example, that James needs a little refresher on linking verbs.

Maybe next week we'll get back to normal. Whatever that is now!

NaNoWriMo: My story

2010-11-27T05:07:00.000-08:00

I had already mentioned that my story was going to be based on Swallows and Amazons. This book, and the 11 books that came after it, are very dear to my heart. And since I did not want to do NaNoWriMo, did not want to write fiction at all, I thought it would be easier to start with a story and some characters that someone else had created. I am not sure it turned out to be easier, though, for a few reasons.

The original stories took place in the 1930s in England's Lake District. The main characters - John, Susan, Titty, and Roger Walker, and Nancy and Peggy Blackett, ranged in age from about 7 to about 12. I moved the story to 1960, when the Swallows and Amazons have been through the war, married, and had children.

The main story started out like this: The 6 children, now grown, converge at the holiday cottage at which their adventures began. Captain Flint, uncle to the Amazons and friend to all, has died while traveling. They are called there by their parents, not for a funeral, but to come together to pay tribute to the dead man. (Nancy and Peggy's mother is Captain Flint's sister and lives on the lake. Captain Flint had lived in a houseboat there. The Walker children's parents have bought the holiday cottage and retired there.)   While there, they fix up the old boats they sailed in 30 years before, send their kids on adventures similar to those they had enjoyed in their youth, and generally have a fine time. They all realize how much they have missed the place, and all manage to find a way to come and live there.

It sounds dippy, I know.   But it gets dippier.

I ended up bringing Captain Flint back to life, because as I was typing up the scene in which his nieces and friends are mourning his death while standing on the deck of his houseboat, I had the uncontrollable urge for him to appear. Not supernaturally. He rows up to his boat in a dinghy and appears just as they fire off the cannon as a salute to him.   Hey, I needed the several thousand words to tell the story about his "death" and return. But more than that - Captain Flint had to return, dramatically. Now I understand what writers mean when they say their story line or a character surprises them.

I also added in a sullen teen to give me a conflict point and some drama. It is set in 1960, after all. There's got to be a rebel. This is Titty's 15-year-old daughter, who treats everyone shabbily and wants nothing but to go home, until her actions put her little sister in peril. Melodrama, yes. I found that melodrama is so easy to write!

What was not to easy to write were the details I needed to make the story come alive. All along I kept thinking "I need to learn more about that" and "wish I had time to research that."   When the objective is to slap down 50,000 words in 30 days, and still have some semblance of a family/home life, research isn't really part of the picture.   So if I want to carry on, there are some topics I need to study.

The original books had a lot of sailing in them. But I don't know anything about sailing. I remember a lot of the words, but I can't really write about it properly. So most of my action takes place on land, which is fine, but is not in keeping with the original story. I suppose I could do a little studying and learn - and understand - enough vocabulary that I could fix that.

My main characters came of age in England during World War II. So the war has to figure in the story, even though it's set several years after. I had to know what they did during the war years. For example, what could a young woman living in the lake district do to support the war effort without leaving home? Was there any military action in that part of England or was it remote enough that the was wouldn't be visible? A quick google showed me that there is plenty to say about the war in that area. .

Two characters, Nancy and Titty, had to be involved in codes and codebreaking. That was obvious to me based on what I knew of them from the original stories. I wondered what that would be, though. The seminarian told me about the German Enigma machine and code-breaking work at Bletchely Park in England. This was perfect for my characters - many if not most of the workers there were women - but it really needed more research to do it right. So that part of my story is a little blurry right now.

So, what do I have now? 50,000+ words of a very rough draft of a melodramatic, overly-sentimental novel with little historical detail.

What will I do with it?   For now I'm going to set it aside. I've finished what I set out to do this month. I loved doing it, most of the time. But, I'm not finished forever, I don't think. I have a few books from the library on the Enigma machine and the codebreaking efforts.   I'm going to finish reading Arthur Ransome and Captain Flint's Trunk, which tells the story of the real people and places on which the original stories were based. I don't think that will really help me with the story but it's a fun read. It's already given me some insecurity over my characters: I found out that the real-life Roger, who in my story was a ship's engineer who lost an arm in the war, actually became a doctor. But I think I'll get over that. It is fiction, after all.

It's possible, even likely, that I'll never get back to the story, though. I have other things to focus on now. This month of writing has left my house and our homeschool a little disorganized.

Even if nothing ever comes of it, it was so worth the time and effort. It was a wild month, fun and frustrating at the same time.   Looking forward to next year!

NaNoWriMo: the end (but not really)

2010-11-26T17:30:00.000-08:00

Well, we did it. The three of us completed our novels today, validated our word counts on the NaNoWriMo site, and were declared winners. We have prizes to claim - a web badge which only I can use, the kids being blog-less, certificates of completion, and later on, a coupon for a free proof copy of the novel. (I think the kids get those, not me. The "young writers program" is slightly different from the adult.)

The work is not finished, though. There is a lot of editing to do. James in particular has so many typos. When I look over his open office file, I see so many red lines! But there is other editing to do too. The stories are in rough draft form now. The object of this project was not to end up with a perfect novel after 30 days.

I hope the kids' enthusiasm for their stories lingers. I don't want the editing process to be a burden. It will be up to me to keep it from becoming one. I think we'll take a little break for a few days and then print them out, chapter by chapter. We'll work on them slowly.

Then there's my story. Mine needs a lot of work! Not for typos, so much, though I have plenty. It's a pretty disjointed story right now. Chapters are out of place, I think. There are a lot of holes in it. Continuity is poor; I know that in one case I said a book belonged to one person, then later said it belonged to someone else. I have one episode that has two endings! And I like them both. Well, not really like but can't seem to choose between them yet.

I guess I never did say what my story is about, except that it's based on Swallows and Amazons, our favorite family read-aloud of all time. But I need to go watch an episode of "Green Acres" with my kids now so I'll save my story synopsis for a little later. I don't know if I'll be able to revive this blog after our 27 days of writing, but at least I can come back and write that.

Who are you thanking this Thanksgiving?

2010-11-24T16:07:00.000-08:00

People often talk about the things they are thankful for. Most of us have plenty for which we can give thanks.

But to whom are you giving thanks? Who gave you all these wonderful things for which you are thankful?

God? Mother Nature? Gaia? Fate?

Just curious.

Update: I should answer my own question, shouldn't I? You won't be surprised to read that I thank our sovereign God for all the great gifts in my life - including those that may not always look like gifts.

Update 2: If you can't answer the question "to whom are you giving thanks" but you feel thankful today anyway... maybe you need to spend some time thinking about that.

Thanksgiving, NaNoWriMo, and sick kids

2010-11-24T06:30:00.000-08:00

Yeah. One kid is sick, one is threatening to get sick.   I haven't written more than 500 words in the last 3 days. Yesterday was the first day I wrote nothing. Not one word! I should have at least gone in and typed a sentence. That big red blot on yesterday bothers me. There is one on today, too, though there shouldn't be yet. It's only 9:20 am! I can still write today! Why did NaNo give me a red mark for today already?

The sickness may just be allergies. Or a reoccurrence of last year's sinus infection. Maybe nothing communicable. Or it could be a cold. In any case, we told our Thanksgiving guests to go elsewhere. This is one of the nice things about having a church: I told my friend/pastor's wife I was concerned about having sickness in the house. Our guests were to be a pregnant woman, a 4-year-old, and two PhD students heading into finals. Do we want to expose them to sickness? Uh, no. So my friend says "wait and see if it gets better. If not, call me and I'll take them."   It didn't, so I did, last night. They will be just as happy at her house; even more so: no one will be coughing on their pumpkin pie.

(This reminds me of a post I have brewing about Christians who shun the church. Maybe I'll get back to that in December. Of course friends and family can have the same benefits but this sort of thing is part of what the church is for.)

Actually, having the guests out of the picture does simplify my life. I have to admit that. The house wasn't getting as clean as I wanted it to. The food timetable doesn't have to be as perfect. I am a bit of a Thanksgiving perfectionist. I grew up with a Dad who liked his hot food hot so I still get nervous when the turkey waits a minute longer than it should.

And, we'll have more time to get caught up on NaNo. That isn't the priority; we'd manage with or without the guests. We will all win, unless something goes horribly wrong at the last minute.   Still, I'd like to finish with a bang, not a whimper. A congested, coughing whimper.

Happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for stopping by, if you came here via google on NaNoWriMo (or any other search, for that matter). Thanks to those of you who've been around and are sticking with me this month. I know this is boring to non-NaNoers. And I know I haven't been visiting or commenting on your blogs! But I'll be back.

Meet Maria

2010-11-23T18:58:00.000-08:00

I've known Maria for about two years now, I think, but when she started blogging I realized that I hardly knew her at all. Our talk has always been in the context of Girl Scout or homeschooling or art class. I am delighted to meet the Maria who writes Be Not Afraid. I think you will like her too.