"You find a wallet with $200 and the owner's identification in it. What do you do?"
Then go over to Dr. Helen and read this thread. Don't skip the comments!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Tearing one down to build another up?
Lately I've noticed a tendency in women to do a weird thing. Well, women do a lot of weird things. (So do men, but as a woman I notice the women's weirdnesses more.) It's one of those social things that women are so good at: tearing one person down in order to build another person up. Here's what I mean:
Woman A compares herself to Woman B, and worries that there is something wrong with her because Woman B does things differently. Being a woman, she asks her friends what they think about this. Being women, the friends assure Woman A that there is something wrong with Woman B, and that Woman A is all right and fine and dandy.
It doesn't matter if both Woman A and Woman B have valid (though different) opinions on some point, or different reactions to something, or different methods of cooking potatoes. If Woman A is concerned that she is wrong, then the friends have to assure her that she is right, and that means Woman B cannot also be right. Woman B must be neurotic, or callous, or a bad cook, or whatever. Whatever makes Woman A feel better about herself.
Why can't we just say "yeah, well, I guess you're different" and leave it at that?
Woman A compares herself to Woman B, and worries that there is something wrong with her because Woman B does things differently. Being a woman, she asks her friends what they think about this. Being women, the friends assure Woman A that there is something wrong with Woman B, and that Woman A is all right and fine and dandy.
It doesn't matter if both Woman A and Woman B have valid (though different) opinions on some point, or different reactions to something, or different methods of cooking potatoes. If Woman A is concerned that she is wrong, then the friends have to assure her that she is right, and that means Woman B cannot also be right. Woman B must be neurotic, or callous, or a bad cook, or whatever. Whatever makes Woman A feel better about herself.
Why can't we just say "yeah, well, I guess you're different" and leave it at that?
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Intermittent blogging is bad for maintaining readership...
but since I don't keep any stats anyway, I guess it doesn't matter!
We are finally dog owners. We have been semi-promising J a dog for quite some time now. Before we moved, it was difficult because we had a big yard, but no fence. The idea of fencing it was a little daunting, and we never got around to just fencing part. When we moved, we knew we would have a fenced yard, so that excuse was gone. The months after the move flew by, till it was almost Christmas and we knew we'd be traveling. We said we'd start in earnest after Christmas. And, we did. And now Max is part of our family.
Max is not my choice of name. The rescue organization named him, and the kids would not let me change it. I wanted Calvin. (You can decide if I was thinking of the cartoon character or the reformer.) If we had gotten a girl, I was thinking of Nancy Blackett, a name which of which they approved. Oh well, it's a boy and Max is his name. Maxwell, technically.
But who cares? He is a sweet pup, born somewhere between 5 and 12 months ago in North Carolina, moved for some reason to Pennsylvania. I am convinced that there is a family that still misses this dog. Someone trained him! He is very polite in the house. No chewing. No accidents. Only a couple of tentative paws on the furniture, quickly removed.
Outside he is a speed demon. He loves to run and run. He tires himself out which is good, since we cannot play with him all day long. How do dogs who are alone all day survive the loneliness?
He is getting to be pretty good on the leash, unless another dog comes by - he wants to play - or when a car goes by. He is mildly afraid of cars, terrified of larger vehicles. What secret lurks in that sweet heart of his?
So, walks to take, more laundry to do (it's very muddy outside and we go outside a lot), more playing to be done. It's a wonder I can educate these children. But that is coming along pretty well too. Mostly.
We are finally dog owners. We have been semi-promising J a dog for quite some time now. Before we moved, it was difficult because we had a big yard, but no fence. The idea of fencing it was a little daunting, and we never got around to just fencing part. When we moved, we knew we would have a fenced yard, so that excuse was gone. The months after the move flew by, till it was almost Christmas and we knew we'd be traveling. We said we'd start in earnest after Christmas. And, we did. And now Max is part of our family.
Max is not my choice of name. The rescue organization named him, and the kids would not let me change it. I wanted Calvin. (You can decide if I was thinking of the cartoon character or the reformer.) If we had gotten a girl, I was thinking of Nancy Blackett, a name which of which they approved. Oh well, it's a boy and Max is his name. Maxwell, technically.
But who cares? He is a sweet pup, born somewhere between 5 and 12 months ago in North Carolina, moved for some reason to Pennsylvania. I am convinced that there is a family that still misses this dog. Someone trained him! He is very polite in the house. No chewing. No accidents. Only a couple of tentative paws on the furniture, quickly removed.
Outside he is a speed demon. He loves to run and run. He tires himself out which is good, since we cannot play with him all day long. How do dogs who are alone all day survive the loneliness?
He is getting to be pretty good on the leash, unless another dog comes by - he wants to play - or when a car goes by. He is mildly afraid of cars, terrified of larger vehicles. What secret lurks in that sweet heart of his?
So, walks to take, more laundry to do (it's very muddy outside and we go outside a lot), more playing to be done. It's a wonder I can educate these children. But that is coming along pretty well too. Mostly.
Friday, January 11, 2008
"It's killing TV."
On the radio yesterday I heard this snippet from a conversation about the television/movie/whatever writers' strike. And I couldn't help but think... wow, the end of tv, how great would that be?
I realize that tv and movie-making are a large part of the economy but really, it is hard to see the loss of most tv as anything but a good thing.
This morning I heard something about how the strike is going to affect the Academy Awards. Since I rarely see movies I don't really care about that anymore. But, I thought - what, these people who get on these shows and give awards can't come up with their own words? They need writers?? Some of these people love to speak out about how terrible America is, what a doofus Pres. Bush is, global warming panic, ad nauseum. But they can't get up and use their own words to hand out a movie award?
And still we idolize them.
I realize that tv and movie-making are a large part of the economy but really, it is hard to see the loss of most tv as anything but a good thing.
This morning I heard something about how the strike is going to affect the Academy Awards. Since I rarely see movies I don't really care about that anymore. But, I thought - what, these people who get on these shows and give awards can't come up with their own words? They need writers?? Some of these people love to speak out about how terrible America is, what a doofus Pres. Bush is, global warming panic, ad nauseum. But they can't get up and use their own words to hand out a movie award?
And still we idolize them.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Don't you think Hillary...
would be the first one to attack a woman for breaking down emotionally and crying? Don't you think she would say such a woman was weak, manipulative, and unfit to be President?
I am a crybaby. I get teary-eyed over the stupidest things. It's not manipulative crying. which I know some women engage in. Sometimes I cry when I'm in a difficult conversation and I'm nervous. I even cried when I was quitting a job I hated and couldn't wait to get out of! So I understand when a woman breaks down a little and can't hold back the tears. Some of us are like that. I just don't think Hillary truly is.
But it sure worked for her, didn't it?
I am a crybaby. I get teary-eyed over the stupidest things. It's not manipulative crying. which I know some women engage in. Sometimes I cry when I'm in a difficult conversation and I'm nervous. I even cried when I was quitting a job I hated and couldn't wait to get out of! So I understand when a woman breaks down a little and can't hold back the tears. Some of us are like that. I just don't think Hillary truly is.
But it sure worked for her, didn't it?
Thursday, January 03, 2008
A grown up 9 year old
Today my little E and I talked some about her upcoming birthday. She turns 9 on Monday. She loves a birthday party but it's always hard for me, coming so soon after Christmas. She has always had high expectations for the right decorations, cake, party favors etc. It can be difficult for me to empathize with her need for this as I am pretty low-maintenance when it comes to birthday celebrations. I guess my mother made me that way - I remember being allowed to have one friend over for cake the day after my birthday, and that was it!
I have tried to make my kids' birthdays special but not so much that they feel it's a huge holiday. Kids with birthdays during the school year don't skip classes; working adults usually go to their jobs. In my little homeschool we don't necessarily take the day off. Since her birthday falls on a Monday this year, we will still do our usual Monday things. I believe in flexibility (too much, sometimes), but we don't need a "day off" right now.
So today we talked about what to do, and one of us came up with the idea of not having a birthday party, but a valentine-making party instead. She was really excited about the idea of using the money we'd spend on decorations, favors, etc. and putting it to use for supplies.
Of course I like the idea that it gives me a little extra time to get something together. But I'm also glad she's happy to forgo gifts and move the focus off of herself.
Should be a fun little party!
I have tried to make my kids' birthdays special but not so much that they feel it's a huge holiday. Kids with birthdays during the school year don't skip classes; working adults usually go to their jobs. In my little homeschool we don't necessarily take the day off. Since her birthday falls on a Monday this year, we will still do our usual Monday things. I believe in flexibility (too much, sometimes), but we don't need a "day off" right now.
So today we talked about what to do, and one of us came up with the idea of not having a birthday party, but a valentine-making party instead. She was really excited about the idea of using the money we'd spend on decorations, favors, etc. and putting it to use for supplies.
Of course I like the idea that it gives me a little extra time to get something together. But I'm also glad she's happy to forgo gifts and move the focus off of herself.
Should be a fun little party!
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
The lure of midnight
My kids told me that last August I had told them they could stay up till midnight on New Year's Eve. I don't remember that, but I figure it's possible I made a rash statement like that, so we let them stay up.
It wasn't as exciting as they expected. We watched a movie - a dvd of the 1933 version of Alice in Wonderland, of which I had great memories from my childhood, and which I discovered yesterday is very, very weird. They liked it, though, I guess. Then we played a card game and ended the evening by watching a show on zebras on Animal Planet. We turned the tv back to the channel with the ball coming down from Times Square - we thought - but missed that moment. Then we made a quick call to some friends in Oregon and headed to bed. Oh, right before bed J remembered to open his new page-a-day Duct Tape Calendar. Unfortunately there was no duct tape project for today. Or maybe fortunately, for he'd probably want to stay up to do it...
Of course I didn't let them sleep too late this morning or there will be sleeping trouble tonight! So everyone is a little lazy today. They are glad they stayed up but I don't think they will be so anxious next year. I'm glad we didn't make the night more exciting for them!
Happy New Year!
It wasn't as exciting as they expected. We watched a movie - a dvd of the 1933 version of Alice in Wonderland, of which I had great memories from my childhood, and which I discovered yesterday is very, very weird. They liked it, though, I guess. Then we played a card game and ended the evening by watching a show on zebras on Animal Planet. We turned the tv back to the channel with the ball coming down from Times Square - we thought - but missed that moment. Then we made a quick call to some friends in Oregon and headed to bed. Oh, right before bed J remembered to open his new page-a-day Duct Tape Calendar. Unfortunately there was no duct tape project for today. Or maybe fortunately, for he'd probably want to stay up to do it...
Of course I didn't let them sleep too late this morning or there will be sleeping trouble tonight! So everyone is a little lazy today. They are glad they stayed up but I don't think they will be so anxious next year. I'm glad we didn't make the night more exciting for them!
Happy New Year!
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