The reluctant Scout

No, not really.  My boy loves Scouts.  He started a little late, as a Webelo, so didn't go up through the Cub Scout ranks.  Now he's a Star level, with only Life rank between him and Eagle.

But today he's reluctant.  His troop is participating in a Klondike Derby, and he doesn't want to go.  He's dragging a little this early morning, unable to muster his usual Scout enthusiasm.

This is only his second Derby, though he's been in Scouts for four years.  He went during his Webelo year, and he loved it.  He was one of the little kids then, but he pitched into the work enthusiastically and was thus welcomed by the bigger boys.  (Probably didn't hurt that he is rather large himself and didn't look like a Webelo.)   He came home tired but all smiles.

The next three years he was sick at Klondike time so he hasn't been back.  These weren't sudden "ooh, I don't feel well, I can't go" kind of sick, but real sickness that had been going on.  He's sick in winter a lot.   This winter he's not, so he's going.

But his memory is not of the fun time he had as a Webelo.  That's been replaced by the stories of hardship, cold, mud, and bad food that he's heard over the years.  Yes, he does remember the steamed hamburger lunch (ugh, I'd remember that too, and not fondly).   But he's forgetting the good parts.  The shared memory of the troop is telling him he's not going to have a good time.

But he will go, because he's a Scout and a Patrol Leader and it's his job to go.  And if he is a good Scout (and of course I think he is), he will be enthusiastic and the Webelos who are under his care will have a good time too.

Scouts is a lot of fun but it's also a training ground. There is a lot of hard work involved and not every moment is pleasant.  A few weeks ago during  a conversation about some rule that had previously annoyed him at one of the troop camps, my Scout and I had one of those moments I wish I had captured on tape: "Yeah, Mom, I realized that sometimes there are things we do that seem not to have a reason, but later we find out there was a good reason after all."   Yes!

Klondike Derby may look like a day of pointless hard work, bad food, cold, and mud.  But maybe this year he will find there's a good reason for it.

After the cooking contest

Yesterday I spent a lot of time thinking about James and his Scout cooking contest.  I was anxious to hear from him after dinner but figured I wouldn't.

About 8 pm the phone range.  Could it be him?  No, but it was one of the Scout leaders informing us that James was sick.  Could they give him some cold medicine?  James came on the line and said he was feeling pretty badly and would like to come home.  It's a 90-minute drive to camp... could he tough it out there for the night?  Yeah, he could.

The only thing we heard in that conversation about the contest was:  the food wasn't ready for the judges at the appointed moment.  Bummer.

He arrived home around noon: filthy, exhausted, maybe getting sick (other family members have been sick this week), but happy.  His patrol got 3rd place.  Out of just 4, so... not great.  But he was satisfied.  The stew was good, he said, once it was cooked.  The mango soda was an instant hit.  So was his couscous dessert, despite it being a little strange to most people.  The chapatis were not so great.  He'd perfected them at home but cooking on a fire is different than on an electric stove.  He thinks they just couldn't get the griddle hot enough. 

This past week was hardly stellar for our academic achievements.  But boy did he learn a lot about meal planning, shopping, and cooking.  Hm, supervising 5 boys can be hard work too, so probably some management skills got in there too.  And yesterday the boys were working hard from sunup till well after sundown.

I will be counting it as a school day.  I think I could count it as two!

Eight minutes from right now

My Boy Scout James is away this weekend at his troop's annual cooking contest campout.  Each group of boys - a patrol - plans and makes a delicious meal in competition with each other. This is his second year attending, but his first as leader of a patrol and thus in charge of the meal.  At 5 pm - just 8 minutes away - the judges (adult leaders of the troop) will be at his patrol's table to see how their meal turned out.

James is not a cook, though he has been practicing.  And this is not a stereotypical Scout camp meal, of meat and veggies wrapped in foil and buried in the coals. The boys are required to cook at least part of their meal in the Dutch oven.   They have to brown their meat, not just toss it into the pot. The meal must be balanced meal with protein, carbs, vegetable, etc.  A dessert is required.  A beverage too - and water from the canteen doesn't count.

They earn points for difficulty, healthfulness, and presentation, among other things.   It's a big deal, lots of work and lots of fun.  For example, James took a stick of butter for his bread, but also a container of cream so they could make their own.  This was a last-minute addition.  He had asked one of this friends, a senior Scout, if taking butter would cost points.  No, he was told - but if you make your own, you'll gain points!  Same question about taking homemade chicken broth.  (James made it from a chicken he cooked a few weeks ago at a cooking  workshop at his Scoutmaster's house.)  It's fine, but it would be better if he hauled a chicken carcass up to camp and made the broth there.  Yikes.  That takes a lot of time and a lot of firewood.  He won't worry about those extra points.

I am almost certain he forgot one semi-essential ingredient:  sugar for his dessert.  But the recipe also includes honey, and I'm pretty sure -  no actually I'm just hopeful - that he will realize he can just add more of that to make up for the missing sugar.  Maybe one of the other boys in his patrol will mention that, if he forgets.

He is a forgetful boy, and likely to be a bit stressed.

He forgot the gloves for chopping up the jalapenos.  Those are not essential, but might gain him points for safe cooking.. 

His menu is chicken peanut stew, chapatis, couscous with honey, cinnamon, and nuts, and mango soda.   I know all this because I helped him practice it, but also because he typed up a nice menu for the judges to see on his table.  Too bad he left it behind.

The mango soda is just mango nectar mixed with seltzer.  It's delicious.

Though he is the leader, the other boys were invited to contribute ideas to the dinner. However, they did not care to.  I know that because they sat around my kitchen table one night talking about it, and other than approving the stew didn't express much interest.   I suspect they won't like the dessert - it does seem a little odd - but he wanted something more in keeping with his North African-ish theme than the typical apple cobbler.

All day I've wanted to text him to ask how it's going.  But Mommy needs to stay out of it, and he's not supposed to have his phone in his pocket during camp anyway.  I did ask him, if he could do it without breaking camp rules and embarrassing himself, to let me know how it went after it's all done.  I can wait till tomorrow afternoon when he gets home... but I don't want to.

Well, it's 5:10 and the judges should have moved on to the next patrol.  I'm a little sad I can't be there to see all this, but... it's right that's I'm not there. 

This post was inspired by my friend Maria who knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Letters from camp

My Boy Scout does not send letters home from camp. I would like him to, but I know it's not going to happen; he is not a writer. Years ago, pre-Scouts, he did send something home from his very first overnight camp. I'd given him a few stamped, addressed post cards so he could keep in touch. I received one card from him; it said:

I'm havving fun!

This year I didn't even bother to mention the possibility of writing to me. But I wish I had. He was nervous going to camp this year because he was just given responsibility as a patrol leader, replacing a boy who either stepped down from leadership or was pushed down. The former leader remains in the patrol. I wonder how that is working out.

Last night I had one of those too-late brain flashes: I should have sent him with a survey to complete and mail back to me! No writing, just fill in the bubble. And it could count as schooltime: standardized test practice!

Maybe I'll do this next year. Here's what I've got so far:

I am
0 having a great time
0 having an OK time
0 having a terrible time
0 can't wait to get home
0 am quitting Scouts forever

My patrol
0 is doing great
0 is cooperating with me
0 ignores me
0 hides from me
0 hates me
0 dumps pond water on me while I sleep*

The other patrol leaders
0 accepted me as one of them
0 mock me
0 despise me
0 collect the pond water for my patrol to dump on me while I sleep

In the firestarting contest we
0 won first place
0 won 2nd place
0 came in dead last
0 couldn't get a fire started at all
0 did not collect any wood because my patrol hid from me

In the sports tournament we
0 won some events
0 won one event
0 won zero events
0 did not do any events because my patrol hid from me

*credit to the seminarian for this one.

I think this could work. It's easily adaptable year to year. And surely there are other Scouts who don't like to write home - I bet I could market this thing.

What would your survey say?

Fun or not fun?

My Boy Scout (yes, I talk of nothing but Scouts now) is working on two merit badges this summer: Emergency Preparedness and Rifle Shooting. He is mildly excited about E-Prep (there is a lot of composition involved in this one) but thrilled about Rifle Shooting. But he has a bit of work to do there too.

Someone invited us to go to her family's pool today, and I had to turn her down. I noted various reasons, including the merit badge work. Some is due tonight (!) at a meeting with the Scoutmaster. (The Scout did not properly plan his tasks so he didn't have a lot to do at the last minute. Bet he'll do better next time.) Her response surprised me.

"He has to do work over the summer? Why?"

"They do a lot of badge work at summer camp. If he does his work ahead of time, he'll get to shoot a rifle, practice rescuing people, and end up with a badge or two on the way to Eagle Scout. (I don't know if the rifle badge is required; e-prep is.) It's great."

"Great?" (Said with much disdain, and I know disdain when I hear it.) "It's summer! They shouldn't give the kids work in summer!"

What is the proper response to that? The kid is 13. In 5 years he'll be an adult. (Now there's a scary thought.) He's working on something useful, yet enjoyable. He still has time to go to the pool (just not today), play x-box, ride his bike, go to picnics, go hiking, and do all those other summer fun things.

I think there would have to be something wrong with a guy who would not give up a little pool time in exchange for getting to shoot rifles and practice "moving an injured person out of a remote and/or rugged area, conserving the energy of the rescuers while ensuring the well-being and protection of the injured person" with a bunch of his friends at summer camp. (That quote is from the e-prep merit badge worksheet.) I think there is something odd about a mother who would object to that.

But wait! Why am I surprised? Last week we got a call from our township Parks and Recreation Department telling us that an activity my boy had signed up for had been canceled due to low enrollment. It was a firefighter's camp for teens. 4 nights, 2 hours each night, learning how to prevent and fight fires. With real firefighters, trucks, giant hoses, the works. For $15. But only 3 people signed up so they canceled it.

My kid was bummed. And incredulous. Why didn't more people want to do it?

Guess it doesn't fit their idea of summer fun.

My Scout moves up, again

Was it about a year ago that my Boy Scout was promoted to Assistant Patrol Leader? I thought I blogged about it but I can't find it. I hate to admit I was amazed at that promotion. The boy who lives here does not fit the profile of a leader. Sorry, but it's true. We knew he did better at Scouts than at home, but didn't think it was that much better. After talking to the Scoutmaster my husband and I walked around for a couple of hours saying "What? Did that really happen? How did that happen?"

We had a similar experience when he joined his robotics club. One of my favorite mom moments came shortly after my husband had a conversation with the dad of the robotics club president. This guy talked about how competent our boy is; how quickly he picks up information; how many great ideas he had going into a competition. At the moment he was telling me this, the boy came into the room to say goodnight. He had just taken a shower. And yet as I went to hug him, I backed off: he stunk! Badly! Very unlike a guy just out of the shower! So I had to ask: "did you even wash your armpits?" "Uh, wow, I guess I forgot."

Talk about your cognitive dissonance.

So today we were stunned once again when the Scoutmaster asked our boy to take a promotion to Patrol Leader. He will be taking over an existing patrol, the current leader of which is stepping down, out of leadership. It's a patrol full of difficult boys.

The Scoutmaster called and talked to my husband first. Then he talked to the boy. I just about started crying when my husband whispered what the call was about. I whispered back "he's not ready" just as I heard the boy say "I don't think I'm ready." But then he went quiet for a few minutes and the next thing I heard was "Yes, yes, I will do it." And then "I will do my best, but I don't know if I can be as good as the leaders who've been there a while."

He got off the phone and I knew, I just could see by his face that he felt a little sick. He's nervous. Maybe downright scared. But happy too.

He's got a lot of hard work ahead. But some good fun too.

Better keep your Boy Scouts out of public school...

... because zero tolerance policies may have a harmful effect on their futures.

Matthew Whalen is an Eagle Scout who is hoping to go to the US Military Academy. Maybe he won't be able to, though:

Seventeen-year-old Matthew Whalen, a senior at Lansingburgh High School in Troy, N.Y., says he got in trouble over a survival kit he keeps in his car that includes a sleeping bag, water, a ready-to-eat meal and the small pocketknife, which was given to him by his grandfather, a police chief in a nearby town.

When Whalen acknowledged he had the knife locked in his car, he was barred from school for a calendar month. Now that he is getting just 90 minutes a day with a tutor instead of 7 hours of instruction in class, he says he is worried that the suspension will mar his academic record and affect his application to attend the U.S. Military Academy.

From Fox News via Commentary.

This comes just after a Cub Scout was suspended (though the suspension was later reversed) for bringing in his new fork/knife/spoon utensil he was given in Scouts. One of the defenders of the decision said:

“There is no parent who wants to get a phone call where they hear that their child no longer has two good seeing eyes because there was a scuffle and someone pulled out a knife,” said George Evans, the president of the Christina district’s school board. He defended the decision, but added that the board might adjust the rules when it comes to younger children like Zachary.

What, they don't use pencils in that school? Do they have someone checking to be sure they don't get too sharp? I'd have loved to have been the pencil-sharpener monitor in kindergarten!

The community center where Derrion Albert was killed probably had a zero-tolerance policy too. But he wasn't stabbed with a pocket knife, just beaten with fists, feet and 2-by-4s.

I think kids are safer around pocket-knife-toting Boy Scouts than they are around zero-tolerance administrators.

Another thing to love about Boy Scouts

Last night and this morning my boy was out helping a fellow Scout work on his Eagle project. (This is a large project required to become an Eagle Scout, the highest award in Boy Scouts.) Last winter he helped put up a deer fence in a local park. This time the project took place at several local playgrounds. The boys - young men, really - spread new wood chips on the playground areas.

The projects represent a lot of hard work. But they are always fun. A group of men together can have a lot of fun accomplishing something.

My boy always comes home from these work days tired but happy. That sense of accomplishment just doesn't come from helping mom do the dishes. Mowing the lawn is a better example of similar work to do at home, but it still isn't quite the same as doing it with a bunch of other guys. I mean, young men.

My new favorite homeschool resource

Last week my Boy Scout came home ready to work on his first merit badge: Space Exploration. He had a booklet to read and a 6-page worksheet packet to complete. There were questions to answer about the history of space exploration, space pioneers, and rocket parts and functions. He had to draw a diagram or make a model of an inhabited space base and describe how it would work. Design a mission to another planet. It looked like a lot of work, and he had one week to complete it. (The short time frame has to do with the upcoming summer camp, at which the boys working on this badge will build and launch rockets.) Along with the questions, the worksheet packet included a list of websites to use for additional research.

This boy does love to read and learn about space (and many other topics as well), but does not like to write, and the thought of filling out those worksheets by hand was very daunting. I started looking around online, and did I ever find a treasure: Boy Scout Merit Badge worksheets. Worksheets for all 100+ Boy Scout merit badges. Stuff for Cubs and Webelos, too, though I didn't really look at that. Printable as .pdfs or Word documents.

Whew! My boy was happy to learn he could type his up. Still a lot of work, but not as tedious as hand-writing it all. I was happy to find this great resource. The worksheets are free printables. The booklets are available for less than $5 from the Scout website (and, maybe, Scout stores).

Now I'm dreaming of the ways I could use these as study guides for various topics for both my kids. (I looked around the Girl Scout website but couldn't find anything comparable.) Art, Bird Study, American Heritage, Citizenship, Chemistry... lots of great stuff to study.

My Scout is also working on his First Aid badge, and while his leader is not requiring the worksheets for that, I am. He needs all the opportunities he can get to improve his written communication skills. It's an area in which he struggles. But this is a great way to combine two "subjects." Compare assignments: write a book report, or write an explanation of the proper way to treat a shock victim or devise a splint in the wilderness. For my kid, anyway, there is no comparison. If one of the goals of the assignment is getting a child comfortable and proficient in composition, grammar, punctuation, and spelling, the result is the same. (If literary criticism is a goal, go for the book report.)

Of course a Scout working on a merit badge has to have a leader on board and use the official Scout booklet to work on a badge. But I think a non-Scout who wanted to use a worksheet as a sort of "study guide" for learning about a particular topic could do without the booklet, though the two I've seen have lots of great information and are pretty cheap. The worksheets I've seen include links to useful websites, and of course most kids have their own books, library books, and google at their fingertips for their own research.

Sometime back I'd heard about a homeschool mom who keyed her curriculum to her Scouts' badge work. I didn't really understand that at the time. Now I get it, and as I've looked around the 'net the past few days, I see other homeschoolers have had this idea long before I did. I'll give my Scout all the time he needs to work on his badges. Besides learning about the topics themselves, all the writing required is going to help him more than any "language arts" curriculum I could toss his way.

Let's see, I think I'll start my girl on the Dog Care, and then go on to Nature. Hmm... maybe I should work on Home Repairs and Gardening myself...

Growing up, fitting in

My Boy Scout got back today from the long-awaited Winter Campout, his first. He wanted to go last year as a Webelo, but he got sick and didn't make it. As a Webelo, Dad has to go along; as a Scout, he is on his own.

Well of course not exactly, but he was picked up and returned home by one of the troop leaders. He did most of his prep work and packing on his own; OK, some. He impatiently listened to my lecturing on being careful, staying warm, blah blah blah. When his ride arrived, he headed out without a backward glance, which is good since I was crying a little.

He came home today while we were at church. He let himself in, played with the dog, and had showered and gotten into unsmelly clothes by the time we got home. He'd had a great time.

There were times when it seemed this boy would never be able to do things like this. Give him a house key? Money? And expect him to fit in with a group? No way. A bit socially awkward even at a young age, he seemed to get worse rather than better as he grew. Oh, by around age 6 he figured out that his friends didn't want to be hugged to the point of falling over every time they saw him. But sometimes it seemed as if he would never fit in.

We worried, too, that when he got into groups of schoolkids, he'd be an outsider. He can't talk much about tv shows, current movies, or video games. But he can talk about planes and ships and exploding things quite well and those seem to suffice. He doesn't keep up with pro sports, and he's not very good at playing them, but he seems to be able to hold his own. I admit I marveled sometimes when, seeing him with his Webelo troop, it was obvious that he fit in. He wasn't a social outcast. He wasn't a freak. For all his early reading troubles, he read aloud at least as well as the boys in his den. He could ask and answer questions properly. He wasn't one of the ones often reminded to "ask serious questions, not goofy ones."

It seems that he's fitting into Boy Scouts well too. He does the work that's required of him. He holds his own. He's about as goofy as the rest of them. (Fortunately Boy Scout leaders know boys are goofy.) We're told he's well-behaved, helpful, and respectful. He fits in in all the right ways, but so far, not the wrong ones.

My unsocialized, homeschooled, geeky boy is becoming a young man. And a good one at that.

Yeah, all moms worry about that kind of thing. Maybe homeschool moms do a little more than others; we have more critical eyes on us. If our kids fail, academically or socially, we can't blame the school, the teachers, the lack of funding. Just ourselves.

So far, so good. We have a long way to go, but... we're getting there.

Boy Scouts, Women, and Leadership

My 10 year old boy is a Webelos Cub Scout, which means he will be crossing over into Boy Scouts soon. So he and his Dad are attending some functions of the nearby troops to see which one he might choose to join. There are two that seem most likely.

One group has had a lot of events and is very active, very encouraging to the Webelos. Quite a few of the boys in this troop go on to become Eagle Scouts. I would love my boy to be encouraged (by other scouts, not just his parents) to work toward that goal. The other troop seems a little more laid-back and not quite as hard-working.

So it seems like the choice might be obvious, except the troop we (so far) like best has one big problem: there are women in troop leadership. Women bossing these boys around.

I really, really hate this. It's the Boy Scouts, people. The goal is to give boys an opportunity and atmosphere in which to become leaders of other boys, and then leaders of men. The boys (ages 11 and up) are starting to separate from their mamas, and rightly so. They don't need mama surrogates to boss them around. And yes, that's what my husband saw at the meeting the other night. Women refusing to allow older boys to make simple decisions on their own. The women took over. (Just like everywhere else, some of you are saying. Yes, I know you are.) I will go so far as to say: these leaders can't really help teach boys to be leaders of men. They will teach them to be followers of women. (Which, some of you are saying, is the point.)

You know, I don't think women are incapable of leadership. There are women who are smart and tough and probably fantastic leaders. But they don't belong in the Boy Scouts. They don't belong in positions of authority over these young men. They don't belong on camping trips with young men (unless it's a family camp).

Some will say "well, boys need to learn to respect authority from women, after all they may have a woman for a boss one day." Yes indeed, they might. And most boys have teachers in school who are female so they have that experience. My boy has learned to respect his female teachers, and I don't just mean me - he takes classes with female teachers sometimes. I drew the line at martial arts class with a female teacher, though.

We go to a church that does not allow women in leadership. Pastors, elders, deacons are all male. The women are not disgruntled because of this (if they become so, they leave, I guess) and there is a vibrant life in the church because these women understand that they are not to be in authority over men. They have important responsibilities in the church, important work to do. They are not treated as second-class citizens with nothing to offer. Everyone understands that men and women are different, with different gifts and talents. Complementary, not competing. It's great. So it's not surprising I would believe women don't belong in leadership over Boy Scouts either.

So. We won't tell our boy which troop to pick. He needs to do that himself. He'll probably choose the one that most of his Webelos den goes to. But his Dad and I will have to figure out a way to talk to him about the leadership issue. Not sure how we'll do that yet.

I just don't get why Boy Scouts can't be for boys. Why there is no place women can't just stay the hell out of. (Sorry if I offend. I'm just talking like my Dad. He would think this stinks.) Why women have to jump in and boss everyone around. Why?


Updated to add: Apparently at this troop at least (I found out) the women do not go on the campouts. Also I did not mention (though I thought about) the possible connection between the troop with the female leaders producing more Eagle Scouts than the more "laid back" troop. Well, gotta be careful with correlation and cause, but if the female-led troops produce more Eagles because they are babying the boys along, rather than letting them try and fail, or not bother to try, then I'd rather go with the troop that allows for self-determination. I don't know that that's the case, of course. More research is needed.