We've reached the end of the first school year of our seminary adventure. The student had his last final yesterday afternoon. Now he's free till the end of June, when he starts an intense month-and-a-half of Hebrew classes. Yee ha.
This has been an interesting year. The transition from Oregon to Pennsylvania is not really complete. Nor is the transition from employed-dad family to student-dad family. But we've done OK, and are now 1/4 of the way through.
Of course the kids have had the worst time of it. They are still lonely, still missing their friends. So am I! I miss the days of kids running around the house while the moms and I drank tea and talked curriculum. We have not made friends like we had back home. Casual friends, more than acquaintances, yes we have those. But not deep friendships. But then, it usually takes time to make friends and we just haven't had that much time here yet.
A big improvement that came with the move was getting our dog Max. Can't beat that. We'd never have gotten a dog in Oregon because fencing our yard would have been too daunting a task.
We miss our house, but I don't miss our neighborhood (or lack thereof). This house is still too small for us. And I feel guilty about that, because larger families than ours live in smaller houses than this one. Face it, we are spoiled after having loads of space. We miss our huge back yard; the boy desperately misses the woods and the creek. I don't miss the ugly lack of landscaping in the front - here we have a presentable, if unexciting, front yard. I miss the wild blackberries, though. There is a promising-looking vine in the backyard by the fence right now - I think it might be raspberry.
I do love being able to go for long walks through the neighborhood - our road in Oregon was too busy for that. I like walking and looking at peoples' houses, and their plants. I don't miss the slugs that ate up my hostas in Oregon. There are no slugs here. For plants, this area is a lot like Portland - everything grows here. I need to get on that. All I've planted are some bulbs and a single salvia plant (can't even remember the variety).
We haven't missed our seemingly limitless book budget. I do miss Powell's - there is no equivalent bookstore here. Is there anywhere? I miss Exodus Provisions. But, we are not buying many books. If there is something we need to own, we try to use ebay or Amazon's used books. The kids tell me that they have not felt deprived by not buying new books very often.
Obeying the homeschool laws hasn't been as difficult as I'd thought, and I have to admit I am happy to have kept all the records of our reading. The kids did more projects, too, which we are all happy about.
I got to take a class at the seminary too, as an auditor (no credit). That was so nice, even though I did not keep up with the reading. I am thinking of taking a survey of Reformed Theology in the fall. Not sure if I want to go for credit for just audit again.
Really, life isn't all that different except for living on lots less money (which is good for us) and not having so many friends around (which is not so good for us, maybe). Maybe this time of few friends is meant to help us grow closer together. Both the kids joined Scouts so there is the possibility of new friendships developing there.
Am I glad we moved? Yes and no. Still, I know without a shadow of a doubt this is where we are supposed to be. And there is great comfort in that, even on the lonely days.
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Friday, July 13, 2007
A day late... or maybe two
Today was the day we were to set off on our seminary adventure. On Monday the truck came and that evening some friends came over to help load the heavy stuff. Then we planned to spend the next 2 days filling it ourselves, while we finished packing. Call the trucking co. by 2 pm, and be out the door by, say, 6 or so. Easy.
Hahahahahaha!
Do it yourself moving is not for the faint of heart. At least, not once you hit middle age and have a big house, a lot of books and other stuff, and 2 young kids. I thought about all the moves I made in my 20s and 30s when I was single. I'd rent a u-haul and put my stereo, bed, boxes of books and clothes into the back, and off we'd go. I didn't have to worry about tying down the load, or filling up all the space, or making sure my nice (though few) antiques didn't get scratched up. I probably would have had the stamina for 12 hour work days. That's 12 hours of relentless work - packing, loading, pushing, pulling, up and down the truck ramp.
I also didn't have two children who don't feel a particular urge to leave behind their only home, all their friends, and all that is dear to them to set off on an adventure. They are sad, and crabby, and they need lots of attention, not less just because Daddy and I are busy.
So, we decided to slow down just a little bit. We can leave tomorrow or even Saturday without a financial loss, or much of a time loss. The seminarian won't have the luxury of two weeks before starting his summer Greek class. But we won't be so crazed.
So, if you sent me a "bon voyage!" email today, well.... I'm still here!
Hahahahahaha!
Do it yourself moving is not for the faint of heart. At least, not once you hit middle age and have a big house, a lot of books and other stuff, and 2 young kids. I thought about all the moves I made in my 20s and 30s when I was single. I'd rent a u-haul and put my stereo, bed, boxes of books and clothes into the back, and off we'd go. I didn't have to worry about tying down the load, or filling up all the space, or making sure my nice (though few) antiques didn't get scratched up. I probably would have had the stamina for 12 hour work days. That's 12 hours of relentless work - packing, loading, pushing, pulling, up and down the truck ramp.
I also didn't have two children who don't feel a particular urge to leave behind their only home, all their friends, and all that is dear to them to set off on an adventure. They are sad, and crabby, and they need lots of attention, not less just because Daddy and I are busy.
So, we decided to slow down just a little bit. We can leave tomorrow or even Saturday without a financial loss, or much of a time loss. The seminarian won't have the luxury of two weeks before starting his summer Greek class. But we won't be so crazed.
So, if you sent me a "bon voyage!" email today, well.... I'm still here!
Saturday, July 07, 2007
(For some reason I can't put a title to this post! It was going to be "New justification for collecting fabric.")
We're into the packing frenzy mode now. Doesn't every move have one? So many things we couldn't pack early... now it's getting late!
I've found that my stash of fabric is really helpful for padding items as I put them in boxes. Fat quarters and remnants are great for filling in little spaces so the box is full enough not to crush.
Yarn is very good for filling in too, but only if (like me) you buy cheap yarn. If I was a real knitter and had nice wool, I wouldn't stuff it into the bowl of my Kitchenaid to keep the attachments from rolling around. Kitchen cotton works fine, though. Well, I guess so. I'll find out when we get to our destination.
We're into the packing frenzy mode now. Doesn't every move have one? So many things we couldn't pack early... now it's getting late!
I've found that my stash of fabric is really helpful for padding items as I put them in boxes. Fat quarters and remnants are great for filling in little spaces so the box is full enough not to crush.
Yarn is very good for filling in too, but only if (like me) you buy cheap yarn. If I was a real knitter and had nice wool, I wouldn't stuff it into the bowl of my Kitchenaid to keep the attachments from rolling around. Kitchen cotton works fine, though. Well, I guess so. I'll find out when we get to our destination.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Celebrating Independence from junk
Yesterday we had our big dumpster party. We had one of those big "roll-off" (technical term) containers delivered to our driveway to get rid of assorted... stuff... that has accumulated. We ended up with one bigger than we'd requested, and it turned out to be a good thing.
It's amazing how much stuff builds up over 9 years when a family has no motivation to get rid of it. Meaning, we are lazy and we have a lot of space. Today I also made some rounds, getting rid of some old paint (actually left by previous owners), my wedding gown (to a charity that provides gowns for women with cancer), some storage cabinets (to a friend who met us at a home depot parking lot to make the drop) and some books (used book store).
It feels wonderful to get rid of unwanted stuff. I just feel a little weight falling off my shoulders with each toss into the dumpster or each dropoff.
So if anyone is wondering how we're doing getting ready to move, there you go.
Oh, the kids had some fun with fireworks last night too. They said it was the best 4th of July ever. It was good to see them having fun as they are dreading the move more, the closer it gets.
It's amazing how much stuff builds up over 9 years when a family has no motivation to get rid of it. Meaning, we are lazy and we have a lot of space. Today I also made some rounds, getting rid of some old paint (actually left by previous owners), my wedding gown (to a charity that provides gowns for women with cancer), some storage cabinets (to a friend who met us at a home depot parking lot to make the drop) and some books (used book store).
It feels wonderful to get rid of unwanted stuff. I just feel a little weight falling off my shoulders with each toss into the dumpster or each dropoff.
So if anyone is wondering how we're doing getting ready to move, there you go.
Oh, the kids had some fun with fireworks last night too. They said it was the best 4th of July ever. It was good to see them having fun as they are dreading the move more, the closer it gets.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
The joy of working together
Today some friends from church came over to help us do yardwork. It had been arranged by a friend of mine, who knew we were feeling pressure about moving and leaving some things undone for our renters.
We live on 1 3/4 acres, most of which is not nicely landscaped. We have planted beds here and there, but between the blackberries, crabgrass, deer, moles, and inertia, it's not easy to keep it nice. While I would have liked a more landscaped yard for these past 9 years, it hasn't really bothered me too much. As I told the lady who is moving in, "it's a fun yard, not a nice ladies' tea type of yard."
Still, we wanted to get some of the blackberries and other weeds down before our renters move in. I think they know what to expect, sort of, but I don't want them to drive up and start hating it here right away because it's so wild and messy.
Anyway, there were a couple of dads alone, a dad with 2 young boys, and a whole family of 5 which included a teen boy who can really work, and I mean hard, his younger sister who helped me immensely in the kitchen, and his toddler brother who just had fun.
We cut down blackberries, spread mulch, pulled weeds, trimmed shrubs. The kids got all the yucky toys out of the sandbox and cleaned out the playhouse. The 8 and 10 year old boys muscled the play kitchen out of it and down the steps. The happiest 5 year old I've ever met swept the playhouse out when it was empty.
At the end of the day it was just 3 dads working together. I could hear them talking and it seemed like it was deep stuff, not superficial chitchat. Except for checking on their hydration needs, I kept away and worked in another area. I didn't want to constrain their conversation.
One of the men had been over a few weeks ago to help with some siding. He pointed out that men used to work together that way all the time and how great it was to work and talk. Really talk. Today, one of the other men made a similar observation. He said if men in the church got together to work more often, there'd be more understanding among them. People would get along better. But I thought about some people at our church who don't seem to want that closeness; they'd probably just stay away. I think the my husband had the same feeling last week when yet another family came over to help us. He and the husband of that family spent 12 hours one day, working on a deck. He said he had a great time, though the work was hard.
It was really a sweet day. It is very humbling to have people come over and do work I should have done myself. To receive thanks for food I prepared for them, even though it was just hot dogs and store-bought potato salad - and if they weren't doing me a favor, I wouldn't be feeding them anyway.
There's still a fair bit of work to be done - all those blackberry vines have to be hauled out to the woods. But it sure went faster and was much more pleasant today with people working together. Two of the families working here today might be moving away themselves. It's too bad we won't be around to help them with their unfinished projects.
We live on 1 3/4 acres, most of which is not nicely landscaped. We have planted beds here and there, but between the blackberries, crabgrass, deer, moles, and inertia, it's not easy to keep it nice. While I would have liked a more landscaped yard for these past 9 years, it hasn't really bothered me too much. As I told the lady who is moving in, "it's a fun yard, not a nice ladies' tea type of yard."
Still, we wanted to get some of the blackberries and other weeds down before our renters move in. I think they know what to expect, sort of, but I don't want them to drive up and start hating it here right away because it's so wild and messy.
Anyway, there were a couple of dads alone, a dad with 2 young boys, and a whole family of 5 which included a teen boy who can really work, and I mean hard, his younger sister who helped me immensely in the kitchen, and his toddler brother who just had fun.
We cut down blackberries, spread mulch, pulled weeds, trimmed shrubs. The kids got all the yucky toys out of the sandbox and cleaned out the playhouse. The 8 and 10 year old boys muscled the play kitchen out of it and down the steps. The happiest 5 year old I've ever met swept the playhouse out when it was empty.
At the end of the day it was just 3 dads working together. I could hear them talking and it seemed like it was deep stuff, not superficial chitchat. Except for checking on their hydration needs, I kept away and worked in another area. I didn't want to constrain their conversation.
One of the men had been over a few weeks ago to help with some siding. He pointed out that men used to work together that way all the time and how great it was to work and talk. Really talk. Today, one of the other men made a similar observation. He said if men in the church got together to work more often, there'd be more understanding among them. People would get along better. But I thought about some people at our church who don't seem to want that closeness; they'd probably just stay away. I think the my husband had the same feeling last week when yet another family came over to help us. He and the husband of that family spent 12 hours one day, working on a deck. He said he had a great time, though the work was hard.
It was really a sweet day. It is very humbling to have people come over and do work I should have done myself. To receive thanks for food I prepared for them, even though it was just hot dogs and store-bought potato salad - and if they weren't doing me a favor, I wouldn't be feeding them anyway.
There's still a fair bit of work to be done - all those blackberry vines have to be hauled out to the woods. But it sure went faster and was much more pleasant today with people working together. Two of the families working here today might be moving away themselves. It's too bad we won't be around to help them with their unfinished projects.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Moving plans
A couple of people have asked about our moving plans. We are in the process of fixing up and packing up the house. We've been blessed with a wonderful family to live in our house for the 3-4 years we'll be in PA. After graduation, we hope to come back to Oregon - as long as there is something here for the Seminarian to do! So we are really hoping we can keep our house here so we can come home.
However, we know that God may have other plans for our family so we're not promising anyone (the kids) anything in that regard.
We're doing a "u-pack" move which means that a trucking company will drop a big trailer in our driveway and we will fill it up. They will come 3 days later and take it away for us. 6 days after that, they'll drop it off at our new house, where we will have 3 days to unload! We've already been contacted by some folks at the seminary with offers of help to unload.
Our plan is to leave on July 12. We will be driving mostly along Highway 80, going through Oregon, Idaho, Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana (?), Ohio, and Pennsylvania! Hoping to find something fun (and short!) to do every day to keep the kids from getting too stir crazy in the car. (Ideas welcome!) Hoping to find hotels with pools! Planning on a couple of days in Dayton OH so the boys can visit the Air Force museum. The girls will have to find something else to do. Also planning a day in NW PA to visit my aunt!
OK, that was a quick post; break's over, time to get back to work. Can someone please tell me where I left the rake?
However, we know that God may have other plans for our family so we're not promising anyone (the kids) anything in that regard.
We're doing a "u-pack" move which means that a trucking company will drop a big trailer in our driveway and we will fill it up. They will come 3 days later and take it away for us. 6 days after that, they'll drop it off at our new house, where we will have 3 days to unload! We've already been contacted by some folks at the seminary with offers of help to unload.
Our plan is to leave on July 12. We will be driving mostly along Highway 80, going through Oregon, Idaho, Utah, Wyoming, Nebraska, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana (?), Ohio, and Pennsylvania! Hoping to find something fun (and short!) to do every day to keep the kids from getting too stir crazy in the car. (Ideas welcome!) Hoping to find hotels with pools! Planning on a couple of days in Dayton OH so the boys can visit the Air Force museum. The girls will have to find something else to do. Also planning a day in NW PA to visit my aunt!
OK, that was a quick post; break's over, time to get back to work. Can someone please tell me where I left the rake?
Monday, June 18, 2007
Setting the date
Not a wedding date. The big move date! After much talking and looking at the calendar and the to-do list, we set our moving date last night. We will be heading out to PA on July 12. Having the date firm, and the reservation for the truck made, gave me a little thrill of excitement. Of course we knew we were leaving around that time, but having the actual date on the calendar makes a huge difference. Maybe it will motivate me to work a little harder too!
We had originally thought we'd leave on July 9, our 12th wedding anniversary. It seemed an apporpriate date to set off on a new adventure. But, the trailer will be delivered on July 9, so we could say that loading up our stuff is the real start. Whatever.
Now if only I could get the kids so excited!
We had originally thought we'd leave on July 9, our 12th wedding anniversary. It seemed an apporpriate date to set off on a new adventure. But, the trailer will be delivered on July 9, so we could say that loading up our stuff is the real start. Whatever.
Now if only I could get the kids so excited!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Starbucks VISA card?!
I have all the credit cards I need right now, but I have to admit the offer of a Starbucks VISA seems mighty attractive right now. $25 to spend at Starbucks just for getting a new credit card! What a deal! The offer arrived in my mailbox while I was scraping away at some nasty old caulk that I'm finally getting around to removing from my shower, after it's bothered me for about 9 years. Oh well, our lovely tenants will enjoy the new caulk. Or, to be more precise - they won't notice the new caulk. Which is as it should be.
Hm, I think there's some of the morning coffee left in the thermos... it's only about 3 hours old... who needs Starbuck's anyway?
Hm, I think there's some of the morning coffee left in the thermos... it's only about 3 hours old... who needs Starbuck's anyway?
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Blessings abound
Today the phone rang and an unfamiliar voice asked for my husband. I handed it over and as he talked it became obvious that he was talking to someone from the seminary to which we are moving. He kept sounding happier and happier and saying things like "wow, that's great!" "Oh, yeah, that's fantastic!" He talked a little about our family and the kids.
(One of the concerns we've had about moving - one of the many - was how we'd get all our stuff unloaded off the truck. We're not driving u-haul but we're doing the loading and unloading - the moving company does the driving. We've got plenty of help here but didn't know how to recruit people at the other end. Our realtor out there said she'd look into something but hasn't gotten back to me about it.)
OK, so when the future seminarian gets off the phone, he says "well, we've got help unloading!"
The call was from someone at the seminary, assigned to call him and (presumably) other incoming students to check on them and see if they any kind of assistance. They have people ready to help out with unloading and moving in. Other families stand by to invite newbies over for dinner.
Wow, that is fantastic!
(One of the concerns we've had about moving - one of the many - was how we'd get all our stuff unloaded off the truck. We're not driving u-haul but we're doing the loading and unloading - the moving company does the driving. We've got plenty of help here but didn't know how to recruit people at the other end. Our realtor out there said she'd look into something but hasn't gotten back to me about it.)
OK, so when the future seminarian gets off the phone, he says "well, we've got help unloading!"
The call was from someone at the seminary, assigned to call him and (presumably) other incoming students to check on them and see if they any kind of assistance. They have people ready to help out with unloading and moving in. Other families stand by to invite newbies over for dinner.
Wow, that is fantastic!
The head gets it; the heart's not there yet.
My J is getting really anxious about our upcoming move. We are planning to leave in about 4 weeks. Every night we have to talk about why we are moving, and go through all his worries: that he won't meet any friends, that he won't like the weather, that our new house will be too small. He asks why we have to move. We go over it again; Daddy and I know that Dad should go to seminary. We just know it's right. J knows it too, in his head. He gets it. But his heart isn't there yet.
E is a little quieter about it now; she had her sad times and maybe is already feeling better about it. Or maybe she's just not talking right now. She likes feeling superior to her older brother so maybe she's enjoying looking like the mature child... hard to tell with that girl!
Yesterday was really hard; it was our last visit with some really good friends. New friends, but still. These are kids both J and E clicked with the minute they met. There was none of that awkwardness that can come with meeting a new kid. They met and immediately started having fun. Those are hard friends to say goodbye to.
There are also some friends they've known all their lives. Literally - we met one family when our oldest kids were 18 months old, and the next oldest were newborns. That family went on to have 2 more kids; we stopped. We still see them often. My kids don't know what it's like not to see them several times a month.
There are old friends who don't live so close anymore, but close enough we can visit on a day trip or a quick overnight.
There are friends we knew we would enjoy but didn't have time to get to know well.
And all the other friends too!
J did show some wisdom in our latest talk. Our current house is not in a neighborhood, so my kids don't have spontaneous play opportunities with kids on the block. So they don't deal much with mean kids, or kids they just don't get along with. Our new house will be in an old-fashioned American suburb. Potential for lots of kids (or, maybe not; we visited the house on a school day so didn't see anyone, but it looks like a kid neighborhood). He is nervous about that, about meeting a bully. He said "here's my tactic for meeting new kids in the neighborhood. I'll keep an eye on everyone to see how they treat the other kids. If they aren't nice to the other kids, I'll steer clear." We talked about being kind to everyone but not making a close friendship with any one person right away - about discernment and how to develop that when it comes to people.
Of course I'm a little nervous about the whole neighborhood thing too. I've never lived, as a mom, in a "regular" neighborhood. I've always been able to pick and choose the people we come in contact with. I've never experienced some of the things my friends have: kids stopping by, asking to come in and play, even though the parents don't know each other. Neighbors who expect the stay-home mom to watch over the neighborhood while they're at work. People who are loud or vulgar or have the tv blasting some kind of garbage I'd rather my kids didn't sit around to watch. These are the experiences of people I know! Of course they have nice neighbors too, but it's always so much easier to focus on the scary parts of moving.
I've been reading Moving With Kids by Lori Collins Burgan. Nothing I didn't already know, but good reminders. She goes over the stages of grief, a la Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (who wrote in the context of dying): denial, grief, anger, acceptance. I think I missed one. Anyway, my kids are in the grief stage now. Wonder if we can skip that anger stage?
E is a little quieter about it now; she had her sad times and maybe is already feeling better about it. Or maybe she's just not talking right now. She likes feeling superior to her older brother so maybe she's enjoying looking like the mature child... hard to tell with that girl!
Yesterday was really hard; it was our last visit with some really good friends. New friends, but still. These are kids both J and E clicked with the minute they met. There was none of that awkwardness that can come with meeting a new kid. They met and immediately started having fun. Those are hard friends to say goodbye to.
There are also some friends they've known all their lives. Literally - we met one family when our oldest kids were 18 months old, and the next oldest were newborns. That family went on to have 2 more kids; we stopped. We still see them often. My kids don't know what it's like not to see them several times a month.
There are old friends who don't live so close anymore, but close enough we can visit on a day trip or a quick overnight.
There are friends we knew we would enjoy but didn't have time to get to know well.
And all the other friends too!
J did show some wisdom in our latest talk. Our current house is not in a neighborhood, so my kids don't have spontaneous play opportunities with kids on the block. So they don't deal much with mean kids, or kids they just don't get along with. Our new house will be in an old-fashioned American suburb. Potential for lots of kids (or, maybe not; we visited the house on a school day so didn't see anyone, but it looks like a kid neighborhood). He is nervous about that, about meeting a bully. He said "here's my tactic for meeting new kids in the neighborhood. I'll keep an eye on everyone to see how they treat the other kids. If they aren't nice to the other kids, I'll steer clear." We talked about being kind to everyone but not making a close friendship with any one person right away - about discernment and how to develop that when it comes to people.
Of course I'm a little nervous about the whole neighborhood thing too. I've never lived, as a mom, in a "regular" neighborhood. I've always been able to pick and choose the people we come in contact with. I've never experienced some of the things my friends have: kids stopping by, asking to come in and play, even though the parents don't know each other. Neighbors who expect the stay-home mom to watch over the neighborhood while they're at work. People who are loud or vulgar or have the tv blasting some kind of garbage I'd rather my kids didn't sit around to watch. These are the experiences of people I know! Of course they have nice neighbors too, but it's always so much easier to focus on the scary parts of moving.
I've been reading Moving With Kids by Lori Collins Burgan. Nothing I didn't already know, but good reminders. She goes over the stages of grief, a la Elisabeth Kubler-Ross (who wrote in the context of dying): denial, grief, anger, acceptance. I think I missed one. Anyway, my kids are in the grief stage now. Wonder if we can skip that anger stage?
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