The reluctant Scout

No, not really.  My boy loves Scouts.  He started a little late, as a Webelo, so didn't go up through the Cub Scout ranks.  Now he's a Star level, with only Life rank between him and Eagle.

But today he's reluctant.  His troop is participating in a Klondike Derby, and he doesn't want to go.  He's dragging a little this early morning, unable to muster his usual Scout enthusiasm.

This is only his second Derby, though he's been in Scouts for four years.  He went during his Webelo year, and he loved it.  He was one of the little kids then, but he pitched into the work enthusiastically and was thus welcomed by the bigger boys.  (Probably didn't hurt that he is rather large himself and didn't look like a Webelo.)   He came home tired but all smiles.

The next three years he was sick at Klondike time so he hasn't been back.  These weren't sudden "ooh, I don't feel well, I can't go" kind of sick, but real sickness that had been going on.  He's sick in winter a lot.   This winter he's not, so he's going.

But his memory is not of the fun time he had as a Webelo.  That's been replaced by the stories of hardship, cold, mud, and bad food that he's heard over the years.  Yes, he does remember the steamed hamburger lunch (ugh, I'd remember that too, and not fondly).   But he's forgetting the good parts.  The shared memory of the troop is telling him he's not going to have a good time.

But he will go, because he's a Scout and a Patrol Leader and it's his job to go.  And if he is a good Scout (and of course I think he is), he will be enthusiastic and the Webelos who are under his care will have a good time too.

Scouts is a lot of fun but it's also a training ground. There is a lot of hard work involved and not every moment is pleasant.  A few weeks ago during  a conversation about some rule that had previously annoyed him at one of the troop camps, my Scout and I had one of those moments I wish I had captured on tape: "Yeah, Mom, I realized that sometimes there are things we do that seem not to have a reason, but later we find out there was a good reason after all."   Yes!

Klondike Derby may look like a day of pointless hard work, bad food, cold, and mud.  But maybe this year he will find there's a good reason for it.

More and less in 2012

More reading (books).

Less browsing (magazines, internet).

More walking.

Less snooze-button-hitting.

More talking.

Less yelling.

More music playing during breakfast, dinner... throughout the day.


What do you want more and less of this year?


 

The evolution of Saturdays

Some time ago, in another life, Saturday was the day to sleep in.  Sunday was too, I think.  In those days before marriage and kids, when going to church didn't seem very important, when Friday night was for staying out late, weekends were for doing... not much of anything.

That time seems awfully far away now.  Sometimes I can't even believe those days existed.

Today I think I achieved my as-close-to-perfect-as-it's-going-to-get  Saturday morning:

Up early, about 6:30.  Some of you are snorting in derision; 6:30 is early enough for me, right now.

The internet.   I admit I start my day by checking email, facebook, the weather...  I might catch up on a little correspondence. 

A cup of tea.  I like coffee in the morning, but when I'm up alone tea is easier and quieter.  Our house is small, so I need to be quiet on my Saturday mornings. 

My Bible and notebook. I've been playing catch-up with the James Bible study that is almost over at Good Morning Girls.  I don't know if they will be starting a new study later this month, but I want to be ready if they do.   Also, I'm enjoying it so much - it's just exactly what I need right now - that I don't want to slow down.  I rely on Monergism for commentary and sermons if I want more help with a passage of Scripture. 

Other books, if there is time.  I'm starting to read Desiring God, thanks to this discovery yesterday.  Or maybe a good novel.

Music, usually via Pandora radio.   I have a chamber music station that I can play softly while I read.  

Unless there is some activity for which I need to get my family up, I usually have 1 to 1/2 hours on my own.  If I use this time well, I am very satisfied and content and happy to see my family when they get up.

If I don't use it well - if instead of reading, I randomly mess around on the internet, reading too many blogs and blog comments, checking out youtube videos or reading news stories that are irrelevant to me, or if I just stay in bed too long and get a late start - I am annoyed by my family's rising.  I hear their footsteps above me and grumble inside my head. 

Which way do you think is the better start to the day?

This morning I was happy to hear the seminarian getting up.  We enjoyed a nice breakfast together and let the kids sleep.  

A few months ago I started trying out a regular Saturday post, my Saturday morning journal.  I took a blogging break and gave it up.  Maybe I'll start again.


How is your Saturday going?

It's been a little hectic around here.  Lots of people in my life are in need of help and attention right now. My own family here at home.  A friend from church who needs babysitting help.  Emails and phone calls with various people on various topics.  Some of it is fun and some of it is obligation.  Talking to a friend about her upcoming trip to Hawaii is in the fun column, not the obligation column.  But there are others, not so fun.

Almost two years ago I sat here and complained about the lack of available women to help their church family by providing meals to others in need.  That problem hasn't gone away.  There is a lot of work to do and people don't have much time to do it.  So those of us who are available try to do as much as we can.

Sometimes it's hard.  Sometimes when a need comes up and I think about trying to squeeze it into my day, I say inside my head, in a very small voice, "but I have a job too."  Most people don't see homeschooling as a job.  It's a lifestyle choice (and an odd one at that) and shouldn't affect my ability to be out of the house for hours at a time.

And sometimes it doesn't.  My kids are old enough to stay at home alone; they can do some of their work on their own.  I can leave them to their math books and Latin translations and other assignments.  Mostly those things can get done when I'm not home. But that's now how we like to spend most of our homeschooling day.  We want to be together, reading and talking; sometimes they need my help.  Sometimes they need my nagging.

One of the dangers of being among the few that can help is the tendency to look at others who aren't helping with bitterness and resentment.  We can decide that the stay-home mom with a preschooler and toddler ought to be able to help out some too.  What does she do all day?  We can look at another homeschooler and wonder why her kids can't be more independent.  It doesn't matter that we don't know much about her, such as what kind of homeschooling program or philosophy she has, or the ability of her children to stay home alone, or how much help they need with their work. We look at these people and think:  I can do this; why can't she?  My life is busy too.  Busier, even. What's wrong with her?

Because there must be something wrong with her if she's not doing what I do.

It's easy to look at other people and decide that they are lacking.  Harder to look at ourselves and see the pride that makes us judge others by our standards.

Whose standards are we supposed to live by, anyway?

Feels like playing hooky

Both my kids are a little bit sick today: slightly feverish, alternating between feeling hot and feeling cold, "gunky throat," all that stuff. So we are staying home from church. They are not so sick that they are flat on their backs or sleeping all day, just feeling crummy.

I hate those borderline sicknesses. I'd almost rather they were sicker so I could be sure they are sick enough to keep home. I don't want them spreading illness. But I don't want to stay home for every little symptom.

My boy keeps saying "H1N1?" every time we take his temp or ask how he's feeling. We don't talk about the flu much around here but I guess he hears enough little things to start worrying.

Today is our Pastor's last day at our church. He accepted a full-time position at the seminary where he has been a part-time lecturer. Of course his family has to find a new church home, so we'll not only miss him as pastor but will miss having his family as part of the congregation. Maybe it'll be easier on me not to have to hear all the goodbyes today. We know we'll be seeing them again, just not at church every Sunday.

For someone who hasn't updated this blog in a long time, I'm not making a very good comeback, am I?

More about books and reading tomorrow, maybe.

June 25 and bored already

Since the schools around here let out last week (or was it the week before?) we've had more than the usual number of encounters with schoolkids. And the word on the street is: we're bored.

Now I know I grew up in the dark ages but in the summer I don't think we were bored till at least the middle of August. But maybe my memory is faulty. I know it's easy to make things seem better back in the day. Still, it seems pretty early for the kids to be bored.

My kids don't get that. They aren't any more or less bored than any other time of the year. If anything they are thrilled that they have more time to pursue their own interests than usual. Math 3 days a week is much better than 5. I think they figure that kids who are stuck in school all day would be thrilled to have a break and get to stay home.

But maybe that's it. Most kids spend so little time at home they don't know what to do when they're there all day long, even though they have the Wii and the computer and lots of games at their disposal.

Don't even ask about books.

Of course I don't think the moms help much either. You'd think they'd love having more time to spend with the children they brought into the world. But, mostly, no. They don't know what to do with the kids either. (I am not talking about working moms who have to figure out places for their kids to go while mom and dad are at work. I am sure that is a special challenge and I am just thankful I don't have to deal with it.) They sigh about the kids boredom but seem powerless to do anything about it. Which they probably are, by the time the kids are school age.

We don't have a real exciting summer planned. Both kids have a couple of daycamps and the Scout has his 10-day Boy Scout camp up in the mountains. We have some historic sites to see, an amusement park to go to, lots of books to read in the hammock. Sewing and model-making projects. Visits to the town pool and the library. Playdates with friends. Card games to play - some we've owned for years that we've never even opened. A garage sale to prepare for - at someone else's house (the best kind). Bikes to ride. Church picnics to go to (and a couple to host). Water balloons to throw and shoot in the giant water balloon sling thing. Parks to hike through.

Tomorrow we're going to clean out the laundry room - I mean haul every single thing out, figure out what to do with it, and put it all away whereever it should go - and then walk the mile to a little luncheonette for soft-serve ice cream. Yeah, we do know how to have fun around here, don't we?

I feel sorry for the kids who are bored, I truly do. I feel sorry for their mothers who have to find ways to entertain their children and would rather they would get out from underfoot. I feel sorry for their dads who have to come home from work to bored complaining children.

But I'm glad my family doesn't have to be like that.

Loudmouth girl

Today was round 1 of baseball playoffs. Our team advances. Talk about your mixed emotions.

A teen girl we'd never seen before came to watch the game with her mother. She had obviously just come from a ball game of her own. I know it was softball because she made loud and pointed comments about knowing softball, not baseball.

Throughout the several innings she sat there, she was loud and obnoxious. She objected to the fact that the parents were not cheering loudly so she yelled a lot. But she didn't know any of the players and would yell comments like "go, whoever you are!" Or she'd cheer loudly for "the purple team" which was neither of the teams playing - she said she was cheering for everyone. She never made any insulting remarks about poorly-executed plays or strikeouts, I have to give her that. But she was so annoying that even her mother asked her repeatedly to be quiet, and then, when she wouldn't, told her to go away. That she did.

I am all for self-confidence but this wasn't it. This looked to me like the cockiness that comes from being insecure. If her mother hadn't been there telling her to shut up, I'd also say she had not had the benefit of parents teaching her appropriate public manners. Maybe her mom just started too late.

People talk a lot about modesty, but it's usually all about clothing. But modesty includes behavior too: a modest person does not call undue attention to herself. This girl had a serious lack of modesty.

Later, when we were home, I asked my girl what she thought of the young woman. She said she was really annoying. We talked about how not to be like that. My girl likes to call attention to herself sometimes too, particularly when she is at a boring baseball game. The difference is she just wants my attention, so she's not annoying other people. She's learning, though. We don't try to turn every incident of the day into a teaching moment, but sometimes they just fall into our laps.

Stupid clock

When I woke up this morning I was stunned to see how late it was. I don't usually sleep past 7, and here it was 7:30. In order to get to church on time without leaving all the breakfast dishes in a mess before running out the door, we need to be up and preparing by 7:30. But I was so, so tired...

At 7:45 I badgered the equally exhausted seminarian to get up. I tried not to be too snippy. But there is a lot to do today.

I stumbled to the kitchen, let the dog out, and chopped up some apples to cook. Put the bacon in the oven. It was about 8 by now, so the timing was perfect. I started preparing the food I need to take to church today. I felt a flash of irritation at hearing the shower starting up. Tut tut, breakfast is going to be late (he makes the pancakes)...

A few minutes later I looked at the clock on the oven: 7:10. Huh? No, it should be 8:10, right? I got really confused. Wow, what a mistake! How did I think I woke up at 7:30 when it was only 6:30? Did I read the clock wrong? Or did I miscalculate the amount of time we needed? How would I do that? (We've been doing this for a long time.) Or maybe I'm losing my mind... I always knew it would happen, but I didn't think it would be this soon...

I went to apologize to the seminarian for forcing him awake so early. I expressed my regrets and my confusion. Then I looked at his clock: 7:30. I looked at mine: 8:30.

Aaahhh! Sweet understanding!

My clock is programmed to change automatically when daylight savings time starts and ends. But since my clock was manufactured, those times have been changed. My clock sprang forward this morning! Causing me to spring out of bed way too early.

At least we'll have time for a leisurely breakfast and dishwashing this Sunday morning.

Is everyone's life this crazy?

For the past year and a half or so, we've been a one-car family. Surprisingly, even living here in suburbia, where nothing is within walking distance, it hasn't been too much of a struggle. I take the seminarian to school on the days I need the car. Simple. Kind of reminds me of Laura and Rob Petrie.

But every now and then it's not so simple. For instance, today, when piano lessons and baseball practice coincided. We decided the boy could skip piano this one time. I could take him and Dad to the ballfield a little early, get the girl to piano, read on the teacher's living room couch for 30 minutes, then come, watch the end of practice, and go home for dinner.

But it's drizzling, and darkish, and the boy is still coughing a bit, and it seemed like an extra 45 minutes outside might not be the best thing. (Usually it takes quite a bit of rain to cancel practice.) So we thought we could all pile into the car, drive to piano, drop off the girl, take the boy to practice, go back and get the girl.... aaaahhhh!

None of these distances are all that big, but still.

The phone rang. It was the piano teacher, calling to cancel because of mild illness in her family. As I was checking the calendar for rescheduling, email from the baseball coach arrived. Practice is canceled due to the rain!

So we went from a super-packed early evening to an empty one. Dinner is all prepped (Thanks, Ms. B and B!). Think I'll go find some coffee and a book.