Most Christian homeschooling families are familiar with the "Miller" books. These storybooks, written from a Mennonite perspective, aim to teach Biblical lessons via stories. We have a few of them; I've read the stories to the kids and from time to time my girl brings them out to read.
The kids in the Miller family rarely fight or disobey. But when they do, Mom Miller never yells or scolds loudly, but corrects them in a soft, gentle voice. And Dad Miller is stern but not mean; "sober" is the usual description of his manner when disciplining the children. Just about every story ends with the family at evening devotions, and the Bible verse of the night always, always fits whatever bad thing happened during the day, whether one child wrongly accused another of stealing stickers, or someone ate too much candy, or was lazy, or...
(Some stories do deal with more serious matters, such as the death of a young girl. But we're not talking about those now.)
So the other day we were having a Bad Morning and all was chaos. Naturally, my girl brings out a Miller book and starts talking about how nice and calm and soft-spoken Mom Miller is, all the while glancing at me out of the corner of her eye meaningfully. Right, Mom Miller I am not.
The boy, always eager to mess up a cultural reference, starts in on Dad Miller. "Yeah, and Dad Miller must have ESPN to always know what verse to read at devotions!" No, I assure him, the Millers would never pay for premium cable, nor would they appreciate being linked with extra sensory perception. He slaps himself on the forehead in that "I coulda had a V8" way and joins his sister in mimicking the younger kids of the family. They agree that if the Millers ever visited our house "they'd be horrified!"
Yeah, well. I bet the Miller kids make their own breakfasts and help take down the Christmas decorations, too. Before January 9.