Friday, August 03, 2007


Though I don't think of myself as a super emotional person, I cry very easily. Books and movies, even tv commercials can make me cry. My kids are getting used to me getting very choked up while reading a book to them. I also tear up sometimes when I'm having a difficult conversation and am tense. I hate it, but I can't help it. Once I cried while quitting a job I hated. My boss was trying to convince me not to quit and said I must not want to because I was crying. He didn't understand that I was happy to be quitting but was tense and emotional and couldn't help crying.

Lately my kids have seen me crying more than they should. The tears really flow when I am frustrated, and of course moving into a new place can be a very frustrating time. Yesterday I had a few episodes of crying, over various frustrating moments. It bothers the kids even when I reassure them that nothing is really wrong, I'm just tired and frustrated. I woke up this morning early and feeling ready for my new routine of my morning walk. I started down the street and then heard my name. The lady next door was out getting her newspaper. She is a nice lady but I have to admit I was not eager for a chat with her right then. So we chatted and 20 minutes of my morning slipped away. I was not about to try to cut her off. My walk got cut short and I cried a little in frustration when I got home.

Later on I cried because I can't get the laptop to work, and some things I need to do are on it. I also started crying when I realized that I can't fix a drawer on a dresser that I need to start filling. It's a weird dresser - the drawers have to be screwed into the sides (runners?) to work right. I can't seem to get it to fit. I hate leaving things like that for my husband to deal with, but I just can't figure it out. My frustration and feelings of incompetence got the better of me and I started to cry.

But then I got a call from him, late coming home from school. We had both noticed lately the starter on our (only) car had seemed "funny." Today he discovered the reason: the battery had been dying. So he was stuck on the road with a dead battery, and of course I had no way to help him. Fortunately, he said, he was right near a car dealership of the right flavor, so he could easily obtain a battery, though at a higher price than he'd like to pay. Of course he was frustrated (hungry, too, I bet, since he was coming home for lunch!).

I have to admit that though I am unhappy he's stuck like that, I'm thankful it was him and not me. Imagine the tears flowing in that circumstance!

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